Dumped, but no hard feelings, but should I try again?

Dated a girl a few months back. Got friendzoned, and told her, "Nope not interested in that, call me if you change your mind." A few months have passed. She's still single, and I want to ask her out again. But i'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. Asking her out will come off as needy, desperate, and outright creepy and my best chances are most likely to never look in her direction again and continue dating other girls, and carry on with my life, which I've been doing happily. Well, not the dating part. Sorting out various life issues before I do that again, though i have asked numerous girls out. After all, she said no, right? I have to give her the freedom to choose for herself, and i can't force her to like me. But neither can i stop her from saying no.

I walk away from things that don't make me happy, but my gut keeps nagging me that there is more to this than i'm seeing. In fact the whole situation has left me wondering if what i'm doing is the right thing. I get that I can't do anything other than walk and never look back, and find someone else. But this is one girl i don't want to let get away, if i can help it.

She really liked me and was always eager to see me back then, until i fucked it due to my inexperience. She was distraught for quite a long time when i walked away from her, and she still isn't happy, though she isn't doing anything about it. She does "like" the occasional post, and "likes" my friends stuff on instagram which she hadn't done until now. It's nothing, and i continue to treat it as such, but its odd stuff and usually things linked to me (my friend's instagram posts, that is) or various life events that she has no concern with. Again, it's nothing.

The rock and the hard place leaves me undecisive on whether i should, or shouldn't ask her out again. I want to, but i know i shouldn't. So i'm asking you guys for your input... Should i, or shouldn't I? And please elaborate.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I think your situation has reached its end. I think your need to ask her out is just a need to apologize for whatever it is you done/said due to your inexperience, regarding her from before.
    So just say your apologies weather she accept it or not. Then you can leave it in the past, and continue happily dating.

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    • How do i apologise to her? I didn't say anything in particular, it was just lack of confidence. The only thing i can think of that could have hurt her was my reactions to her rejecting me, and my communicating that i didn't want to be "just friends". And wouldn't apologising to her now after so long, just open up old wounds and remind her of how i acted back then?

    • Show All
    • I won't ever forget that i known her... even when i'm lying on my death bed at 90. I don't forget, but i do forgive. Being just friends with her isn't an option though, because i've been through that kind of hurt before and i decided i don't ever want to go through that again. My interest in her is romantic, and accepting friendship is not only settling for less that what i want, but also deceptive. Pretty much communicates, "hey, i only want to be your friend because i want to get in your pants."

    • So, fine don't forget her cherish your memories I guess.
      So being "friends" isn't an option, huh?
      and there you have it !!! you found your answer!!!
      So good luck in your new endeavors.

What Girls Said 1

  • Once a breakup has been over 6 weeks, that relationship is forever over.
    Why would a girl want to go back to the middle of a book when she already knows the ending?
    Not many would! Move on

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    • not necessarily the middle of a book, but rather the beginning of a new book. I don't want to go back to the old, but i do want to start anew.

    • The old chapters will always lurk in the background. You are best to put your efforts into forgiving yourself and into finding someone who wouldn't accept a breakup.

      You will thank me later for this advice

    • why is 6 weeks the magic number? I've heard of people going a year and getting back... and as little as two weeks... or less.

What Guys Said 1

  • Move on. She's never gonna want you.

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