Guys, why does it seem like no one is attracted to black women?

I'm a college student and most of my friends are from different countries. Tonight I was watching a movie with some of my Latino friends and every time a good looking white girl came on they made a comment about her good looks or a noise. But when a black girl comes on they don't say anything. Also, whenever my foriegn friends try to hook up or date someone they always go for a girl other than a black girl. When I see this it gets me discouraged. I really feel like there is no other race in this world who find black women attractive. I am looking to date outside my race, but at this rate I feel like it will never happen.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I think the street runs both ways. Black girls only make statements about how they like black guys and how black guys are hot. I've never heard a black girl express any interest in anyone but a black guy.

    What I sense in your question is that you want to be sought after. It isn't really about getting any one group of guys to date you, it's about having every group of guys interested in you. I've heard female friends talk about the sense of power they get from having guys (especially older guys) hit on them. They may not like a particular guy, but they love being hit on because it gives them a sense of being valued and sought after.

    Just don't worry about what other people think about you. I know it's easier said than done, but it's important nonetheless. I was fat for years, and I felt that no girl liked me or would ever like me. It was hurtful, but I lived through it and came out a better, more compassionate person because of my suffering. Girls who are highly sought after are often the biggest narcissists. Just focusing on loving yourself and you'll eventually be free of worrying over whether others value you.

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What Guys Said 83

  • Reason:

    1) Negative media portrayal of black woman being aggressive, argumentative, and basically unfeminine.

    2) White dominated society/media portrays Caucasian features as the ideal beauty feature. Sadly most black people deviate from this, so they aren't looked at as pretty.

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  • My hypothesis is that it is to due to black culture. Single motherhood is too high for all races, but it is especially high among black Americans. As a result of black males not fulfilling the masculine role in parenting, black women have had to fill that role. It's noble for a woman to do a best to raise her kids alone, but unfortunately if you're not careful to maintain your femininity and make sure you're daughters know how to be feminine they will not be as attractive to men.

    I see black women being pushy and aggressive significantly more often than other races and it's a huge turnoff because that's not feminine or even polite behavior. The opposite is true for Asian women. Asian women are typically very feminine and submissive, which is why Asian women have the most options when it comes to dating.

    Of course I don't believe all black women are that way, but with so many other potential women to date out there you just have to play the odds. My advice to you and other black women is to focus on being feminine and friendly when you're out in social situations. Read up on the differences between masculine and feminine behavior and be feminine. Always have a good attitude and avoid complaining. Being open and sharing yourself is the best way to get people to look past any stereotypes they have and see you for who you are as an individual.

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    • Awesomely dissected explanations.
      And I like the truthness in your response.

  • Your not the first black women to ask this question here on GAG. if I seen so many just on this website I can just imagine how many more times this question pops up in people's minds.

    The reality is your right, and ya it sucks. Statistically for women black women are least desired and for men it's Asians; south Asian like Pakistan and Asian countries like China.

    It clearly has to do with looks I guess. I have black girl friends and a lot of them tell me the same thing. The only ones that get a lot of attention from other races are the ones that don't have typical black features, these girls have long straight hair or curly, long eyelashes, nails, there thin and curvy, femininne.

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  • I'm white, and I actually find some black girls to be far hotter than any white girls.

    The thing is, I actually think an attractive black girl to a black man is different to an attractive black girl to a white man. I see it all the time. A black friend of mine was telling me about this incredibly hot girl he was going out with. When I saw her I actually thought she was average. But all of my black friends thought she was DA BOMB!

    I talked to one of my black friends about this black girl I thought was absolutely gorgeous, really hot. He said she looked cute but wasn't too bothered by her. I showed a picture of her to my best friend, who's white and he basically grabbed the phone off of me and most certainly agreed.

    This is probably because with different race, comes different ideas about what is attractive.

    But bottom line, if I was given the choice between a black girl and a white girl of equal hotness I would probably pick the black girl. I find them to be exotic and really beautiful. Black girls who have a shiny, light to medium brown complexion are the ones I really can't stop staring at :)

    I really hope this helps :)

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  • I'm surprised at some of the opinions. Maybe it's just a USA thing.
    One thing I found lately was that marriages between black women and white men have the highest success rate in the USA (from a divorce point of view).

    It seems a lot of men prefer to screwed over by white women and have an unhappy life, rather than a peaceful and happy life with a black woman.

    I wouldn't piss on most western white women, if they were on fire.

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    • And it's no coincidence that those marriages are the most stable.

  • TBH I'm just usually more attracted to people more like myself. Majority of those just so happen to not be black. However when i see a black woman who is beautiful i have no problem admitting how beautiful she is. For instance Zoe Saldana if one of the most beautiful women i have ever seen. Dont care what skin color she is. I just find myself more attracted to taller skinny girls. So i guess answer to your question is its all just more about personal preference and what a lot of society has deemed "beautiful".

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  • I can only speak about the "black women" I've had the misfortune of meeting personally, which admittedly, is not a great number. Still, they all seemed to more-or-less fit the stereotype we see in the media. Self-absorbed, loud, pushy, physically violent, self-righteous, fat-assed. I think I could manage a relationship with someone who wasn't like that, but still black.

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  • Hi there! :) This is not quite true. I mean skin color is just like hair color or eye color. If a guy really thinks a black girl is cute (And if he is not a racist..) he would probably not have any problem hitting on here. I'm a white 14 year old boy from Norway. I've only had white girlfriends, but to my defense there is not that many black people in Norway :P But i don't know.. I have a little thing for black girls ;) So its just about what thing u find attractive. for example i prefer girls with brown hair and not that tall :P Skin color=Same thing :)

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  • To be blunt, I've never found black girls physically attractive. I'm white and this is typical of my race. However, I do think you're on to something. It seems like more and more guys I meet are not attracted to black girls. I don't know why either.

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  • It's very ironic that you think that most people don't find black women attractive, and yet even you choose to date outside your race. People don't consider black women attractive because they have been brainwashed by the media that shows the white woman as the gold standard in beauty.

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  • It's not because you are black. It's because of the physical characteristics usually associated with black girls. Its the same reason why Asian girls are highly sought after, but Asian guys are not.

    All you can do is improve yourself and make yourself the best you can be. No guy will turn down a good looking, petite girl with a nice personality if she is black.

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    • Asian girls aren't highly sought after.

    • Show All
    • They're not more sought after than white girls, for the most part. That, and it seems that marriage-wise, they fare worse than white women.

    • @koko124 I just said: "APART from white girls, they are probably the most sought after female ethnicity."

  • Once a crap load of black people, women especially, stop identifying with rap and begin to live 'seemingly boring' lives in non black neighborhoods.. then people will start looking at black women as 'girls next door' and Kip and Bret will begin to have crushes on Brandi and Monique..

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  • You kind of answered your own question... the latino guys prefer someone of a different race. In this instance they find the white girl in the movie to be attractive.

    Similarly, you are interested in finding someone not of your race.

    It is all just preference and you have not met the right guy yet. There will be some latino, black, Asian, white, whatever colour guy out there that finds black women attractive.

    You just have to be patient.

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  • Girl never try to fit in. Be where you are celebrated not where you are tolerated

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  • A DUH they aren't reapresented in society as HIGH VALUE. In EVERY CULTURE throughout history the idea of beauty changes. Fat chicks were hot in ancient greece, skinny chicks for a long time in American history, and so on.

    A DUH, guess where these generalizations happen A DUH movies, music, tv, etc. Ever think why Asian males aren't seen as HIGH VALUE? Similar but even MORE than black girls they aren't shown almost AT ALL as round strong characters who are leaders and getting women. SUBCONSCIOUSLY you take in this info and MOST likely you will not be attracted to Asian men. It is the most devious and underhanded discrimination and racism going on NOT INCLUDING REAL MINORITIES IN THE CULTURE. If you look at blacks they are actually overrepresented in hollywood compared to the actual population partly because they bitch and moan about their past and also so called "inequality" when the reality is out of ALL MINORITIES they have the most opportunity in movies, tv, music, and sports. I'm not saying it isn't earned as especially in sports it is, BUT in the other forms of so called "art" there is not so much skill needed. So what happens when black women aren't shown as these round characters in movies, music, etc like Asian males? Same thing, they are LOW VALUE compared to those in high value guess who's high value? A DUH, white people AND black men as they are shown in most movies, TV, etc as cool etc.

    If you really want to get to understanding those things then study evolutionary psychology it explains ALL human behavior. Also I wouldn't fret because by nature people are also curious so with some people being a MYSTERY is actually a HIGH VALUE thing. So the fact that you're more exotic because you aren't really represented in the culture can appeal to some people. It all comes down to variation. BUT still in general how much and how diversified a type of person is portrayed in the culture of movies, music, sports etc will CREATE YOUR SENSE OF REALIT

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  • According to statistics black women are the least desirable for ALL races including your own.

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  • I have seen some attractive black girls, I didn't date them or become friends with them because they had an odd social group, nor did they want me. In college there were many black girls who only hung out with black guys. they didn't seem to mind white people or Asians or anything else, but you'd never really see them around anybody outside of their race. only the older people 24+ hung out with all sorts of people

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  • There are certain features I find attractive. For instance I like a thin small nose, straight soft hair, and lighter skin tone and a slender but athletic body.
    I've dated a black girl and she had many of these features save for being a tad overweight. She was still pretty sweet.
    That being said, many other black girls I just don't find attractive for those reasons. Skin tone really isn't that big of a deal. It's more the nose, hair, and many tend to be obese. It must be my area though. There are a lot of white girls fitting the "overweight" category in this area as well.

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  • well i dont really bother much with black women anymore because they usually dont want to date black guys where im from, so that's why they dont always make it on my radar unless they put themselves there.

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  • People often are attracted to what they grew up around. If you live Ina very white neighbourhood, many guys may find white women attractive. If you live in a more mixed neighbourhood this changes. I was raised around middle eastern women so I like them a lot, also I have a lot of black friends and I find many black women attractive too.

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  • It depends on where you live to be honest. I've been in places where guys checkout and flirt with black girls, and I've been in places where the couple's races are so mixed that it's almost hard to believe. I'm attracted to women no matter what race, but it's hard to find a black woman that knows how to act right (I can't stand WorldStarish type women).

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  • 1) Still have no idea why HikerDude blocked me. Really wanted to discuss different energy bars with him

    2) GIMME SOME CHOCOLATE SO I CAN MELT INTO OBLIVION

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  • Im in Europe , im a white guy and crushed on a lot of races including black girls.. i dont see a problem here but yeah.. i can imagine you feeling discouraged by these signs. however their friends.. its just a small amount of people that react like the way they do. you need to look beyond them.

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  • I'm a white guy and I am attracted to black women. I've only dated one, but I would definitely do it again. In fact, there is a woman who I'm seriously considering asking out and she is black. For me, it really has nothing to do with race, I just find attractive women attractive. Race really isn't an issue for me.

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  • Why it seems that way? Media
    Relax, a lot of people like black women. Keep ya chin up :D

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  • I have a friend at work who dates black women exclusively. I personally have not had a romantic relationship with a black girl. I think white men in general are more nationalistic in the thinking than men of other races. I`m not saying that's right or wrong; it just IS. For every 1 white man that will date a black woman there are 100 white women that will date a black man. Don't hold me to those figures... I`m just trying to make a point.

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  • There are still a lot of guys of other races attracted to black women, regardless of it not being the most desired ethnicity statistically speaking. You only have to find one, right?

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  • Because every time I approach a black chick, she gets this look on her face like it's the weirdest thing in the world that I'd want to talk to her.

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  • People are becoming blind to beauty. I like all colors of skin. Just hate some of the attitudes I run into.

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