Guys, guys when you're in a serious relationship, do you allow your girlfriend to tell you who you can and can't talk to?

My best friend is dating this older girl at the moment. He's like a bro to me. I've known him about 5 years now. He had a crush on me back in middle school, but ever since I shut that down, he's been a great friend and is actually on that bro level. My mom calls him son and wants us to end up together, but I'm seriously not feeling it.

Anyways, he's told this new girlfriend I'm like a sis to him but I guess she doesn't believe it. She has his phone 24/7 and doesn't allow him to text any girls. He's not even allowed to go to a theme park with me because she doesn't want him sharing a hotel with me AND my family. She and I basically just got into over the phone. He even got hisself kicked out of his home just so he could continue to date her bossy ass.

I miss my blood-like bro, but Do you allow your girl to takeover your phone?

  • I don't cheat, but I also don't hand over my phone.
    89% (48)
  • When I'm with her, its her rules.
    11% (6)
And you are? I'm a GuyGirls can not vote on this poll

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47

Most Helpful Guy

  • If my girlfriend asked to check my phone I'd give it to her, just to prove it.

    Then when she gave it back, I'd probably break up with her on the spot.

    I never cheat.

    I'm not going to stay with some control freak who can't trust me. Trust is the foundation on which a relationship is built. If she can't trust me, she can't have me.

    As for your friend, you need to talk to him. He can't continue on like this.

    She has his phone 24/7 and doesn't let him text any girls? She won't even let him go to the park with his best friend?

    That's not a relationship, thats a dictatorship.

    I mean, she might as well fence him in and call it Ausbitch and rename herself Frauline Hitler.

    This needs to stop, he can't let her control his life like this anymore.

    Just talk to him. He's your best friend. If anyone can persuade him to stand up for himself its you :)

    Good luck and I really hope this helps :)

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    • I talked to him today. He said that she will "allow" him to talk to me when he isn't around her. She said that its very rude for him to talk on the phone with other girls around him. I guess I can understand that.

      He also said that he hopes that I celebrate his birthday with them, but that I need to bring a date so she won't get jealous -__- ehh

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    • Lol yea I seriously have no feeling for this guy. Thats just how much I see him as a brother. But yea, he's happy and told me that they've talked of marriage. If it happens, I'll support it. But only because I'll rock a tux as his best Wo-Man. Lol. I don't know why she'd think we'd want each other. she's never seen me and he and I have never hung while he's with her. But yea

    • Well, good luck :)

What Guys Said 46

  • She is a control freak and he needs to run. I assume he has horrible self esteem and she is using that to manipulate him.

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    • Thats weird because he has a high self esteem from time to time

    • But its true

    • Lots of people that seem to have high self esteem in one area of their lives, can have zero self esteem in another part. Or she may have poisoned his self esteem so that it isn't as high anymore. It may even just be the fact she mistreats him that he is attracted to. On some level he may feel that if he wins the love and respect of someone so horrible that it will prove something to himself. Regardless he is going to be miserable with her until he breaks up and deals with whatever issues he has.

  • Hell no! I love my girl but there are boundaries to any healthy relationship. If she doesn't trust me enough to have my own phone she is paranoid and the relationship will NOT work.

    Is this his first gf that he has been intimate with? It kinda sounds like it.

    It sounds like a VERY unhealthy relationship, as I'm sure she doesn't allow him the same kind of access, for instance, to her phone that she demands. She is also isolating him from all friends and family, so that there are NO other voices in his ear, but HERS.

    Hate to tell you this but she sounds like a TOTAL SOCIOPATH. You need to get your bro away from her ASAP! Talk to his family, yours, any other friends you both have. You need to stage some kind of intervention for this poor guy before he marries her or gets her pregnant!

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    • I've tried to change his mind, but this ass is whipped. But no, she's not his first girlfriend, she's actually like number 7. Lol I definitely can't call her "Lucky #7" though.

    • You need to get others involved as well, not just you as she has completely trashed you in his mind. Unless everyone he knows comes together I don't see it ending well for him :(

      And was he a virgin before he met her (that is what I meant to ask)?

    • No he's been sexually active since high school. I think she's the first girl thats older than him

  • Umm of anything, I'd RUN IT, she'd RUN around in IT, just like my teacher used to say to us LOL

    I'm not even worried about a girl trying to spy on my ____ because I'd check her ass real quick. NOW BEFORE y'all JUMP TO CONCLUSIONS, I don't even check my girl's emails, phone texts etc. Since I trust them, when I actually do have a chick. SO I EXPECT THE SAME...

    i1127.photobucket.com/.../ezgif.com-add-text_2.gif

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    • If anything she shouldn't trust him when he's off at college. See, I know him well. Lol he may not give out his number, but he definitely flirts with other girls in person

    • I didn't read the question's word

      only the title lol

    • That';s what My opinion was geared at

  • Not no but hell no !! I am not property , and my old ass isn't looking to learn new tricks for some over bearing , in trusting controlling manipulative b! tch that thinks she can dictate the who's and where's of my life. That skank will find door prints on her azz and how walking her butt out the door is great exercise.

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  • If i had a girl i would have no problem with her seeing
    my phone but your friend is in trouble and you need save him
    i know you only see this guy as a bro that's good but this girl
    got complete control over him.. i think he needs girl who won't
    abuse him cause that's what's happening to him why your
    friend is acting the way he is cause he's afraid to break up
    with the girl cause he doesn't know what she will do and i hope
    he's not sexually active with her cause she could spell big
    trouble for him

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    • Lol I assume they are sexually active. Now that I think about it, I do beat up on him, but like 80% of my friends are guys, and I love to wrestle. So its like he went from meanie me to abusive her. But he and I play around with each other. I think he's actually dating a psycho

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    • Yes that's sad he doesn't come to church and glad to be of help for you:)

  • Lol no. Any man who let his girlfriend dictate the terms of his action is whipped and will lose respect, and eventually love from her in the process. Outside of that person physically harming/raping her. She has no right to tell me who i should and shouldn't talk to.

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    • I dont mind if my guy is whipped, but I wouldn't dare keep his phone all weekend and all that crap. The only time he gets away from her is on weekdays when he's at college, and even then he barely has time for me and his other friend girls.

  • If you need to prove that you deserve someone's trust every day, then you will never have their trust.

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  • Ya I could not take that for very long, too controlling for me.

    I reassure my gf that she is the only one for me... and that she has absolutely nothing to worry about. Which is undoubtedly the truth.

    I have never cheated, and nor will I ever... so she needs to trust me, just like I trust her.

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  • A relationship is based on trust, not trust and verify. That's for nations which sign treaties, not members of a couple.

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    • Lol can you simplify that for me?

    • You can make important and strong requests of your partner, but don't try to control their lives. For a man, in particular, he will come to resent and then reject and outright stray from any woman who is excessively jealous and controlling over his relationships and free time. Live and let live is best. If the woman needs to verify that the man is doing what he was ordered, he will really resent it and a real man will stand his ground and say "no". No relationship should be dominated and controlled by one person. It should be partner-partner, not criminal-jailer or master-slave.

    • Lol tell that to him

  • I'm wipped

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    • I think he's whipped too, but are you whipped enough to abandon your real friends and family

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    • He was whipped while dating my friend all through high school, but he never let her take his phone. Maybe he has a thing for older women

    • It's very possible

  • I would instantly break up with a girl if she demanded to see my phone and try to control who I talk to. It's a huge sign of a weak, insecure ego which I won't tolerate in my love life.

    Not only that, but for the type of relationship I seek, she's required to be comfortable with me talking to other girls, as I with her talking to other guys.

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  • I need and want my own life. I want to be able to talk to whom ever I want even if it's a girl

    I Understand sometimes there are restrictions but overall I want both of us to be our own people and bring that together and be a couple.

    I rather her be smart enough and choose according To her what's right or wrong and then see from there. But I won't tell her really. I want a girl that just knows

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  • Oh god no :O I'm too rebellious for that to happen..
    I'm not a cheater but I'd still try to ease her doubts because she really has nothing to worry about. I don't know how it'd play out with me though because I sometimes choose not to use my phone.

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  • Yes and no. If she feels uncomfortable that I spend time with a lot of girls then ok I'll respect that, I would feel the same if she had a lot of guy friends honestly.

    I wouldn't cut one of my good friends off because the new girl Im with feels insecure about our relationship

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  • I don't cheat, and I talk to whoever I please, but I still let her give her opinion on the matter. Whether I follow it or not is my choice, but I have no problem with her voicing her emotions.

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  • if a GF started telling me who i could and could not talk to she would be out the door before she could finish speaking, genuine friends are had to come by, GFs a bit easier to find

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  • She doesn't tell me who I can and can't talk to but I avoid certain people out of respect for her, and I expect the same from her (and she also does it without me having to ask). For example I have one close female friend but I wouldn't be going out with her alone or with her and her family. I wouldn't be happy if my girlfriend went off with another guy either, I think it's only natural to think that something must be going on. This is why I think these boy-girl best friendships are retarded, all they do is cause shit. And anyway feelings don't go away, he still fancjes you even if he pretends not to so it's not a brother-sister relationship, or if it is it's a fucked up one.

    I wouldn't let my girlfriend tell me what to do or control me like that, he sounds like a pussy, but those are my thoughts on the whole situation.

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    • Well after I rejected him back in 8th grade, he became friends with me and my friend. He and ny best friend always dated on and off, so if he still like anyone, I'd assume it would be her. The girl probably knew that if he went out of town with me, my fam, and his friends, it would consist of his ex coming along as well. But he's in a relationship, and so is she, so if they happened to hookup on the trip, thats on them.

      I wouldn't mind his girlfriend coming along if I knew her first. My mom doesn't just trust anyone, I'd have to know this girl for some months before she just went places with us. Plus, the girl doesn't even want to get to know me, so I'm not worried about it

    • That doesn't mean he doesn't still fancy you, if he finds you physically attractive and he likes you as a person which he clearly does, he'll still like you. Going out with your best friend makes no difference, neither does being rejected and agreeing to just be friends. We don't work the same as women.

      And your ex would be coming with too? Of course she isn't gonna want him to come. Only an idiot would allow their partner to go off with an ex, whether they were in a relationship or not.

    • Yea I definitely see where you're coming from

  • I would have her meet you and your mom invite them to dinner one night and if she still trips after that then she has low self-esteem and trust issues and if they just started dating he should move on and find someone close to his age. Sounds like she's been done wrong a lot with othe guys and that can end badly for him. If theirs no trust then theirs no relationship.

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    • Yea I dont meeting her, but I guess we'll see. After knowing that she disrespected his mother, I don't expect kindness out of her

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    • Lol me and my best friends barely ever listen to each other. We all have a different "type"... he's my friend but Im not sure if I'd want a guy like him

    • It's really hard to explain what I mean when everyone has there own opinion about what a best friend is but the definition of best friend is someone you can laugh with cry with the one that has you back when someone let's you down someone how has all the features in them that you want in a relationship as it is a relationship you've been building with him even if you can't see him as your lover.

  • Yes*.. if I am having a serious relationship then she can tell me about that... But some people i can't leave some persons for her... e. g. my parents!.. I respect her desires... coz she deserves it...
    *But same thing myself also deserves.. same right I will take!.. :P

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    • Yes well he basically even left his family for a girl he's known less than a year

  • Only if its reasonable I'll listen to a girlfriend but she can't tell me to give up someone who has been a friend for 5 + years smh

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    • Yea. Like I dont even flirt with him. She has his phone alllll the time. When his mom calls, the girl answers and says "He can't come to the phone right now"

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    • Lol oh shit well there you have it , she uses money for power

    • he's not a gold digger though. The sex must be good

  • I would break up her so fast if she tried to tell me who I can hangout with or talk to. I don't want to be with someone who's so insecure she tries to isolate me

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    • Yea its like he has a new fam now. He only hangs with her and her cousins

  • I did that in my last relationship and all I heard is "You're cheating on me I know you are." Turned out she was cheating on me the when entire time. Never again.

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  • She can do whatever she likes. I must oblige

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  • Trust is essential to a relationship, no trust, no relationship is worth having. I can see how you are not attracted to a 'man' with no spine, good for you.)

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  • Only a halfwit gets controlled that bad by his GF.
    They call them Mangina's.

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    • Lol I've actually heard that before

    • The term "Mangina" makes me laugh X0

      But, you know, sometimes we can (both sexes) put up with SOME control because it means we are submissive in a loving way. But when it becomes control for controls sake, then no.

      Gotta cut and run.

  • No. If she doesn't let me do that, where's the trust.

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  • She's be way to controlling for me to put up with.

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  • Id be gone if my girl told me some bullshit like that. Idgaf.

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  • This is one of several reasons why I don't own a phone.

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  • I love the clingy type. It's a real turn on for me.

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