Will I always be second fiddle?

My boyfriend always puts his mom ahead of me and it really bothers me what should I say to him about it? OK so my bf is moving to Georgia for a better job from where we live in pa. I am going to move in with him down there once he gets settled but he always calls her first to tell her good news such as when he found out he got the job. He does more for her. He seems to want to spend more time with her than with me because he is leaving. I don't know I'm just tired of playing second fiddle to mommy all the time. He is 28 by the way. Will I always be second to mommy or will this change over time?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • If he is 28, chances are it will never end. Some guys are just mommas boys. Nothing wrong with it. I mean, yeah it gets irritating. I deal with the same thing. Its just that him and his mother have a very deep connection. Nobody will ever be able to take that from him.

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    • But shouldn't the women he is going to marry have a deep connection with him too? And as a man gets older shouldn't the women he wants to spend the rest of his life with be the women he has the deepest most number one connection with?

    • Not necessarily. His mother will always be number 1 in his life. Until the day comes that he has a daughter, his mom will continue to be #1. That's not a bad thing. It just means that he has a very deep connection with her. I understand 100% where you're coming from. I mean, I go through the same thing. But I learned to deal with it and I'm afraid you will have to do the same thing. Because chances are, he will leave you if you ever try to make him choose in between his mother and you. He will always chose her. Doesn't matter if he is madly in love with you and wants to spend the rest of his life by your side. His mom will still come first. She raised him into the man he is today. And its obvious that he adores that woman.

What Guys Said 3

  • As long as you two are unmarried, his mom will always be first.

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    • Why though? Marriage is just a piece of paper. It is how committed to each other you are. What about couples who a living together and have been for years and years should mommy always come first just because they aren't msrried? Also can I have examples please of ways a mom should come first.

    • Aren't you supposed to grow up and start cutting the apron strings and put the women that you are going to spend the rest if your life with first? No women is going to want to marry or if they don't believe in marriage spend the rest of their life with someone who can't cut the apron strings

  • Sounds like you already are

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  • Question is, will you be able to handle a long distance relationship, not whether he cherishes his mom more than you or not

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    • Yes I will be. Not sure how that ties in with my original question but ok

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    • Why do you say that?

    • I just don't think you will

What Girls Said 3

  • That's his mom. If anything be happy that he loves his mother.

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    • I am happy I just Dont think I should always be second best to her when we are going to get married and spend the rest of our lives together. There is a difference between living your mother and running to her with all of your news before your own gf and not being able to cut the apron strings. I'm very close to my dad but you better believe that the man I plan on marrying comes first because I am an adult and that is a healthy part of growing up. It doesn't mean I love my dad any less it just means I'm growing up

  • You either have to accept it or move on. At his age, it's not going to get any better.

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  • Yes. If he's a mamas boy she will make sure no girl would come between them. So it's hard dealing with someone's mother.

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