Would you be hesitant to engage in courtship with someone of much greater intelligence than you possess?

I say this trying my very best not to come across as either conceited or pretentious. However, the vast majority of women I have met and had relations with were simply not capable of discussing in any appreciable (by my own assessment) level of detail the topics and ideas i find enjoyable. I am willing to dismiss this as long as there is an emotional connection and feelings of love and affection between us. However, I must confess that there invariably results a feeling of isolation wherein the woman I am with feels she cannot connect with me on a cognitive level.

This unfortunately has left me distanced with nearly all the women I have had relations with. I believe healthy communication to be a crucial part of a stable relationship, and so I feel I am forced to try my best to find a significant other with a cognitive comprehension level matching the sophistication and depth of communication that my brain operates upon. This has proven to be difficult...


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Most Helpful Girl

  • You mention 'the topics and ideas I find enjoyable.' Do the past women you have dated share your interests? I find that people can talk about anything in great deal if they enjoy it, even if the other person was more knowledgeable about the subject.
    I don't know many people that would not date someone just because they have 'a greater intelligence.'

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    • For some of the topics yes. I met a girl once who studied graduate-level psychology and I started talking to her about the connections between computational complexity theory and human hierarchical pedagogic structures and she just looked lost. This is a person that would converse with me with great enthusiasm anything related to the human mind.

      However, most girls would rather not talk about quantum field theory or supersymmetry, let alone advanced computer science, neuroscience, genomics, general relativity, or artificial intelligence. So my generalized answer to your question would be a resounding no.

    • Well, I'm sure there is a girl out there that enjoys all the things you mentioned, but it definitely won't be easy finding them.
      I know a ton of girls who love talking about anything computers, AI, mathematics (mostly cus I am a computer science major). But then neuroscience, psychology, genomics, general relativity are different fields.
      I believe that you could find a girl that is interested and able to talk about all these things. But I think it is more common to find someone who you like and they like you enough to listen to you babble on about all this stuff, even if they don't understand it.

What Girls Said 2

  • No I wouldn't mind. Often times I find that people who have high intelligence in the factual sense, like you seem to (judging by your vocabulary), are lacking in the street-smart/social aspect. Nobody knows everything, so as long as both parties are open/able to learn from their SO, I don't see why there will be a problem.

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  • I would definitely date an intelligent man. An intelligent man is a man who knows he doesn't know everything. He may be superior in some subjects but I guarantee he's not going to be superior all subject that I know. I'll assume you mean you want to meet a woman with intelligence in general. There's lots of very intelligent women out there so don't lose hope. ;)

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    • Pardon me for not clarifying.

      My question refers to fluid intelligence, excluding things such as knowledge or the accumulated facts and trivia a person picks up upon and commits to memory as they go through life.

      The form of intelligence I refer to includes the mental speed and capacity at which a person's brain works, and the ability to rationalize problems and arrive logically and strategically to solutions (inductive and deductive reasoning). It also includes things such as spatial visualization ability, computational capacity, and the ability to articulate one's thoughts accurately with little conversational mitigation.

    • Well if you're out there I'm sure there's women out there with brains functioning at a similar level. At 22 I don't think you should be concerned about it, lots of time to meet the woman that sparks your curiosity. :)

What Guys Said 2

  • Start meeting girls in book stores/libraries

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  • I've never met someone like that.

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