Am I expected to compromise?

I am asking this questions from a personal experience. I was dating this guy and he declared that he didn't want to be in a relationship or be fuck buddies. He just wants us to have rules and be honest with one another. By rules he means we can decide not to date other people or have sex with them. He does't want to give our relationship a title b/c titles create to much pressure (according to him). I got confused by his request and decided we should just be cool and kept it friendly. I actually liked this guy and was even sexually attracted to him. But to me it's either relationship or fuck buddies, no in between. So this make me wonder if as females we should keep waiting for the men that are ready to give us what we want or accept that this is the 21rst century and just settle/compromise with offers like this one?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Accept what about the 21st century? Settle/compromising on things like this is not an option. You know how many women compromise/settle just to keep the guy and end up miserable. This women wanted to marry this guy so bad she agreed to an open marriage. She never stepped out on the marriage while he ran around town sleeping with women and men while she stayed home with the kids. She became bitter and angry. They finally got a divorce after she keyed one of her husbands lovers car.

    In short don't settle for less then what you deserve. You will be miserable and hurt. He wants an open relationship minus the relationship. I've never understood this but whatever.

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What Guys Said 3

  • Hmmmm well i see a few comparisons between me and him. First off you need to accept the fact he may want you to come after him, that is perhaps not true but still might be the case. He may see you as a potential long term relationship partner and ultimately someone to hold onto without all the sex. He may want to know you on a deeper level and become attracted to who you are underneath the public face. This can be an issue when it comes to you wanting to fuck everything you see. But you have to also know when to understand where he's coming from.

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  • Never settle or compromise, I'm sure you like this guy but if his ideas of a relationship don't align with yours; don't bother. I'm not saying that what he's saying is wrong, not at all. Kudos to him for being open about his intentions (however vague they may sound). But at the end of the day, it's about what you want.

    Being picky is always a good thing, sure, it might take (a lot) longer to find what you're looking for, but you'll save yourself a lot of frustration and heartaches.

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  • He's trying to find that middle ground, that sweet spot.

    He wants that feeling of having you there in a companionship way, but not have to deal with you in a relationship way.

    As you pointed out, not the most enticing offer to women. But I salute him for his attempt.

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What Girls Said 2

  • Oh sweetie no. If you want a relationship you make sure that's what you get. If he doesn't respect you enough to put a title on then don't go for it unless you want to. You don't have to compromise. There are plenty of other men out there who, I'm sure, will give you what you want. Don't put yourself in a situation where one or both of you might get hurt.

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  • If that's what he wants, then leave him I pursue that with someone else who is equally enthusiastic about that kind of arrangement.

    That just seems messy to me and could cause issues later on.

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