If people say I am pretty, how come I can't get a boyfriend?

I am 19 and in college. I go to a small liberal arts college, but the college has slightly more men than women. I am focusing on my education but I cannot help but to feel empty inside or have episodes of depression because I have never had a bf. I always thought that in college, dates would come easily to me and that finding a guy to date would not be a problem. People tell me I am pretty/beautiful, yet I never have had a boyfriend, been asked out on a date, or have had a first kiss. Girls in my residence hall are already dating with men in the same college but I am here crying my eyes out everyday because no guys seem interested in me. I am very confused because strangers always comment on how gorgeous I am and that I should be an actress, yet I don't understand why boys at my college don't show interest in me. I am not conceited and I don't want to say that I am prettier than the girls in my college who are in relationships, but I don't feel like the girls are remarkably pretty; I mean they are definitely not ugly. I am getting really worried because I have practically no experience with relationships whatsoever. I am afraid of being lonely and I am afraid that the fact that I am so inexperienced and late to the dating game will screw up my relationships in the future. It know that its not all about looks but let's be honest, we are initially attracted by how someone looks. Second comes personality. The fact that there are more men than women at my college further bewilders me on why I cannot find a bf.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • How many guys do you approach, initiate conversations with, and ask out?

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    • The thing is that I never approach/initiate/ask out guys. I feel like its the guy's responsibility to do those things if he is truly interested in a girl.

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    • Anonymous, a guy should be the one to approach, initiate, and ask out. But you should give hints. Such as the flirtation, touching of the arms, and gaze.

    • No that's not how it works. If a person is interested in someone and wants a relationship, then they go after them and ask them out. Expecting the guy to do it seems dumb and old school minded

What Guys Said 8

  • It'll get better. Do NOT worry about this. Think about it like rolling a pair of dice. You want to role a 5. Well, if you role a dozen times, you might not get a 5, but some friends are. You roll enough times (which isn't that many more) and you'll get a 5. Just keep rolling. So, in other words, "your 5" BF will come sooner or later.

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  • There's a lot of more to attraction than just the physical aspects.

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  • If you really want a bf, then you'll have to put yourself out there and do some approaching yourself. You decrease your chances of finding a guy when you just sit back and expect them to talk to you. You claim you're pretty so go up to guys and flirt with them, who'd shut you down?

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  • Ok you should post specifics about yourself, pix, etc. I genuinely want to offer some helpful advice. No one in college should be single lol. Unless they want to be.
    Still dating my college HBB :)

    I'll just shotgun some high profile items for now:
    Smile all the time, be confident, exercise, have style, be articulate and ambitious, know how to flirt/tease/be touchy, don't be desperate or clingy, be self-reliant.

    Good luck!

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  • Maybe you seem unnavailable or stuck up. Or maybe your too intimidating. I hope you meet someone. I'd ask you out if I met you 😁 you seem cool 😎

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  • Being pretty isn't enough.

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  • Are you only into a guys looks? Most women are shallow

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  • Cuz guys these days aren't going to take your shit

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What Girls Said 6

  • Since you are really pretty most guys probably think you are out of their league. Guys fear rejection, they rather not act than take the chance (sometimes). Be more friendly and if you keep to yourself try your be more friendly and approachable. Join clubs of your interest and spark a conversation with someone, doesn't have to be a guy you want to date, anybody, put yourself out there and you'll start meeting new people. Once you start meeting people and others see how you are, some guy might just take notice and fancy you. Also don't talk to guys with the mentality of "I want him to be my by so I don't wanna screw up with what I say". Just talk to them as you would with anyone else. Get to know them a little before deciding that. Good luck :)

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  • You need to approach them. It's not enough to simply find a guy and spend a few months or so with him, you need to like that guy. You need to like him, and he needs to like you or it's failed from the start.

    You don't want a guy to ask you out just because you're pretty. Looks don't matter, it's your personality you want them to ask you out for. Get to know a guy, find one you like, and if you're really set on having the guy ask you and not taking the initiative then send out signals. Be suggestive, be flirty, but don't be trashy.

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  • Relationships aren't just based on looks.

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  • Guys are scared to approach girls who are excessively attractive because they think they are already taken or wouldn't be interested. You're going to have to initiate conversations sometimes to show them you're not unapproachable.

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  • I kinda think you are approached by guys but just not by the guys your attracted to.

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  • It's a little more complicated than just being attractive

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