How do I deal with her being with someone while im still alone?

She left to another guy so quick and im still alone. It was her old boyfriend.. all i think about it them having sex and kissing and her doing all the great sexual things she did to me. it especially sucks at night while im all alone and i can't stop thinking about it. its so pathetic and i feel like a complete loner. im still getting over and i dont want to see anyone right now, but she's out having a great time with her old boyfriend.. this sucks.. and here i am crying about it on a website, while she's getting plowed by him right now probably. lol. im so pathetic.

Updates:
She has cheated on us both, with each other. But now she's back with him again, and im still alone, trying to get over her.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Believe it or not, the part of your brain that sees things in your mind’s eye cannot differentiate between something that you’re thinking about and something that is actually happening. So when you’re imagining your Ex and their new sex partner making out on the couch, you react to it emotionally (and physically) like you were seeing it happen right in front of you: Your heart starts racing, you feel nauseous, and you are filled with pain and rage.

    Being victimized by these intrusive images is incredibly traumatizing. Ruminating does not bring any value to your healing process. Instead, it keeps you from moving forward. In order to rescue yourself from the impotent madness of this obsession, you must learn and practice three new skills very deliberately, every day, until you’re in the clear: Self-Awareness, Mindfulness, and Shifting.

    1) Self Awareness

    Self Awareness is the ability to think about what you’re thinking about, and the fact that you are having an
    internal experience—not an actual experience. It sounds simple, but it’s very easy to get swept away in our thoughts without even noticing what’s happening.

    The practice:

    As soon as you become aware that you are thinking about your Ex, say, (out loud, if necessary) “I am thinking about something that is not happening right now.”

    2) Mindfulness

    Recognize that your vivid thoughts are activating all these scary, painful feelings, but in reality nothing bad is actually happening to you right now. You are sitting at a table, eating a bowl of cereal. You are breathing. Anchoring yourself to the reality of the present moment by using your senses creates a protective barrier between you and intrusive thoughts.
    The practice:

    Look: Notice what your phone / tablet / laptop looks like right now. Notice the colors, shapes, things you can see in the room around you.

    Hear: What are you aware of hearing, right now? Yammering in a coffee shop. Music through your headphones. The hum of the refrigerator in the kitchen.

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What Girls Said 1

  • PUnch a wall and play loud rock! hell Go all punk!

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What Guys Said 2

  • It does suck bro. You need to try and occupy your mind with other things. When you think about that try and have something you default to that you can think about instead.

    I totally feel for you. Anyone who has really cared about an ex has those same feelings at times.

    But it is healthy to not jump into another relationship just to get over an ex. So you're doing the right thing. Let's your mind deal with the loss and not turn codependent. Builds character too.

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    • Its the most terrible thought ever to be alone, and knowing the one girl that you only loved, is getting screwed right now. Look man. Its Midnight. Thats sexy time. Here i am on a website crying about her, while her boyfriend is screwing her brains out right this fucking second.

      I was her rebound too, but she cheated on the guy she's with, with me. But she has also cheated on me with him. I miss her man, even though she's a cheater. Its pathetic, but i just want to hold her again.

  • The irony at the update... well who cares what she does. She's not worth it to cry over. Use your anger in a productive way. And she's probably not happy though (she's on a rebound). And this is just my personal bias, but this is why I'd wait to get intimate... you share that with someone special not just anyone.

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    • she's on a rebound from her rebound?

    • Oh, so you didn't actually have a relationship with her? She just used you, and then went back to her bf?

    • Nah we were together for 7 months and then she went back to the bf. But its been on and off between us both.

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