I cret every day because I am constantly rejected by guys. How can I love myself again?

First of all, i'm beautiful, succesful, elegant, fashionable, witty and well spoken. To the outside world, i seem like a very put together person. This is why I feel even more isolated. However, even though i have never had a shortage of attention from guys, i have managed to like very few guys. I always filtered out the players, the weak guys too unfortunately and was left with the guys I had a good click with or interaction. They were all good guys, we would date and things would be going fine until we reached a stage where things had to progress further. At this point guys reject me, see if a guy rejected me within a few weeks.. i would not feel so hurt. But i get rejected after we develop a substantial bond. I have been given so much pain and gone through so much struggle that I can't pick myself up again and become the confident, secure girl anymore. Before i always trusted that things would eventually end up fine, i would improve and move on. This time, i can't... its been almost a year and i am still in pain. I have given up on ever finding anyone and never want to fall in love again but i want to stop feeling the pain and broken. I want to stop crying every day, stop feelings sad, worthless and unhappy. How do I do this? I go to the gym, meet friends etc. But the last guy hurt me so badly after being so in love. He just suddenly changed and said horrible things, we met again recently and he has just changed. It makes me so sad, after all the progress i made, i ended up with the worst romantic situation ever. So i have no motivation to start all over again and i feel empty. I try so hard to feel ok. Has anyone else been in such a situation and how did they deal?

Updates:
Sorry i meant cry*

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Most Helpful Guy

  • tbh i dont see why you must cry every day. I mean, you reject dozens of guys on a regular basis in order to take the select few that make it into your cookie cutter type. Do you think all the guys you reject cry everyday because you rejected them? Rejection is a part of life, and you NEED to get use to it, especially when you have are super picky. I mean all the crying you're doing is almost 100% self induced, which is why i dont get it at all

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    • I don't use guys. I don't reject guys because they are great. I reject the ones who just want sex. I don't flirt with guys where there is no interest. I hate to give the wrong idea, its disrespectful to do that. I get rejected by the good ones who invest in me and date me. That means they reject something about me. Its very painful, after so many years. But I guess you won't get it. You're right to think the way you do as well but I have tried dating guys i didn't like much and it went nowhere so I choose not to since I usually know if I like a guy or not.

    • Show All
    • you're welcome, good luck =) And thanks for mho!

    • actually perhaps you could do me a small favour and answer one of my questions, as im always looking to add a few more female opinions on it

      www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q1387921-ladies-i-need-your-opinion-on-my-dating-life-would-i-be-your-type

What Guys Said 5

  • Don't let your past romantic encounters stop you from achieving new heights on your romantic journey. It's not necessary to have your past relationships determine what your future relationships will be. It's clear that your aware of your self worth, which is a good thing. Self-confidence isn't the issue here. You've just been hurt too much so naturally your afraid to make yourself vulnerable again.

    There's nothing wrong with going for guys that you actually like but take it slow, so that your able to learn more about the guy's true personality before you get serious. This will cause you a lot less heartache down the road. Now march on!

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  • First off I can see that you are trying to find fault with yourself. Dont. Sometimes we give our all to someone only to be rejected. It hurts. It sucks. But think about that time one week before you met that person. You were ok. You were just fine. It hurts. I know. Just been through it. Know this. Just like there is a you there is a me that understands exactly what you are feeling. Stop the sympathy for those that are not worthy of you. The more time you worry about them the less time you will spend with them that truly appreciate and respect you.

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  • don't live your life basing your happiness on another person they should only add to your over all happiness not be your happiness looks like you need to deal with some of your own issues and just be alone and figure out why things are going wrong for you then start to work on them learn to be happy on your own

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  • Maybe that's why you get rejected cause you seem self absorbed and secondly stop seeking approval of other people it only matters what you think not what strangers think love yourself, love food, and find a hobby.

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    • Yeh? I'm self absorbed? I don't seek approval of others. But i have been rejected so much that I know something is wrong with me and it makes me feel like i am not worth a relationship.

    • Me too I've been rejected lots of times too i just pick myself up and dust myself off.

  • A photo would help.

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    • I'd rather remain anonymous. Tbh, i was ugly while growing so somewhere deep down I'll never feel beautiful. But i get told on a daily basis that I'm beautiful. In my phd, i hear that some of the girls and guys say im the most elegant and good looking girl in our programme. I can't get my head around and it feels surreal, i still don't see it myself anymore. I see the many flaws that has lead me to so much rejection

    • what are some of the reasons you have been given for being rejected

    • That we aren't on the same page, they aren't ready etc. Generic excuses. I've even asked for the truth but i never get it. They just like me enough to date me but guys never want a serious relationship with me

What Girls Said 1

  • Do you know that a lot of attractive and smart women are the most unlucky women in love and marriage matters?

    An attractive woman gets a lot of flirting, but she has trouble getting a decent guy to love and respect her more than he loves her body.

    This happened to me too. I am 32 and I cannot find a guy who loves me for me. The last relationship cost me a lot of pain... a lot. I thought he really loved me, though I knew he had emotions for me but he was scared of something. I had to walk away.

    More average women find it easier to get a guy
    who wants to settle down.

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