So I'm gonna be 19 on Sunday, and I've been talking to this girl who is 15.. wrong?

I know legally its wrong until she is 16 to perform any type of sexual act, but I'm asking morally. We get along great, she treats me better than I've had in awhile, but every time I almost make that jump to date her something stops me. Sometimes just the thought of dating somebody that young seems too weird to me. I've been single for like a year and she's the youngest person I've ever thought about dating. She doesn't want to wait till she's a little older, so it's kinda like a now or never thing.. I'm kinda leaning towards never?

Updates:
There isn't somebody else I want right now but I mean there are so many choices that there's gotta be somebody out there better fit for me and my lifestyle.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Definitely read your local laws, and remember that often the worst thing is getting labeled a sex offender...for life (and no they don't really make a big distinction between you and child rapists).

    So you're 1.266 times older than her, you've over one and a quarter as many years that isn't really insignificant. It is noticeable, beyond just the legal adult vs legal minor divide. It's not just the number, but also the four years of life you've experienced that she has not.

    On the other hand, you would not be the only guy to date someone younger. There is a long tradition of older guys going out with younger women. My sister's roommate is in her early twenties, her new boyfriend (also her karate instructor) is in his 30s. Bigger difference in number of years as well as ratio.

    But I think you already had your answer before you posted. Your gut is saying "no". She might dig the idea of dating a guy that's an adult, but as that adult you know better. Differences in level of maturity are what you really need to look at, it's subjective but chances are you're playing on an uneven field, which can result in an unequal relationship. There's a reason the only place you hear about older men getting 14 year old wives is one the news...

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    • I know the local laws, and you're right about the 4 more years of experience. And you are right about me knowing the answer before I posted this, I just wanted to see what other people thought about it, and I guess give me a little more courage to actually end it.

    • Quantumlnc,

      I like your reasoning! :D

What Girls Said 2

  • It is okay to date someone with that small of an age difference, just make sure her parents are okay with it or they could set you up with some sh*t. but the whole point of life is being happy with the one your with. and even if her parents aren't okaky with it, go for it still just reframe from the sexual contact for a while.

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    • The problem is that any of these answers are going to be opinionated when really it just comes down to if I want to date her. I'm kinda on the fence. I just got into college and I shouldn't be dating some one younger when I could find someone the same age, or even older, who could provide more and what not.

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    • "I shouldn't be dating some one younger when I could find someone the same age, or even older, who could provide more and what not."

      Indeed, you got it.

    • You got it but why insisting "someone the same age"? ? 15 isn't the right age for you: 17 to 20 is more to the point.

  • Too young. If I were her parent I would kick your ass. Are you really that immature that a 15 year old girl that is probably a freshman in high school is really someone you'd consider dating?

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What Guys Said 2

  • To a girl that young you ought to be the "older brother", the one who has answers to a lot of questions,who can hear a confidence without ratting on her or abusing the situation, rather than a guy with a car who's trying to chat her up. If she proposes to date explain gently (of course) she's too young for you.

    Expect her to be very mad at the moment (of course, because she will not believe she is too young, it's only human) but if you see her again when she's 18 she will know you're a serious & trustworthy guy and you could have a friend for life.

    Keep care, the boundaries are fragile and she will look & talk older than she really is. Very misleading.

    I'm going to get a lot of dis for this, few digs, I know XD

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    • Update: indeed, there are many fish in the sea: why then settle a 15 year young kid? Because she seems "available"? Wrong reason, as you nearly write it yourself.

  • I've been in that situation (18-16) and found it "odd" enough to abstain. She was very angry and didn't give me the possibility to apologize.

    It left me sad but I'd take the same decision again, probably in a more diplomatic way (I just pretended not to understand her intentions)

    There were girls more fitting to my age.

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