When is dating multiple people okay?

Right now, I'm getting to know two guys. I'm really into both of them. One of them, I've known for five years and the timing just hadn't worked out until know. The other, I met online and we're planning to meet up sometime this week.

How many dates in do I need to make a choice, though? And do I just randomly need to tell them that I'm not only speaking to them? I just got out of a two year relationship, so I'm hesitant to commit myself to anything serious yet.

Is what I'm doing okay? I haven't even kissed either of them, but I'm really starting to get to know them and I have no idea how I'd choose.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Well as soon as you get into kissing anything other than cheeks, or a step further, you'll have to make your choice... and don't keep one of them in hope for too long. If someone has become attached to you you may do him a lot of pain by dropping him...

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    • True, but it's been less than a week. I hope by the end of this upcoming week I can make a choice

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    • Thanks, every time I try to get close with one of these guys, I can't stop thinking of my ex... Ugh.

    • Poor girl... you mean you're afraid to hurt them?
      On the one hand I'd be happy with someone to love but on the other hand, I wouldn't like to need to make your decision. Not easy :-(

What Guys Said 8

  • Dating two guys at the same time is okay only if you can be honest with both of them about the fact that you are dating someone else. If you haven't kissed them yet, this is the ideal time to tell them, "I just got out of a two year relationship and I am hesitant to jump into another long term commitment, so I am dating a few guys at the same time. If and when I feel something with one of them that makes me want to commit, I will tell the other guys goodbye and commit myself to that one guy." If you can't be honest with a guy at the beginning, any relationship with him has no chance of succeeding. If those guys were dating another girl at the same time, would you want to know? Practice the Golden Rule.

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  • Do this, write down all the things you like about both of them. Then go out with the one who has the longer list.

    Ask the other one if they can remain friends, but give them another shot if it doesn't work out with your first choice. You would be surprosed how many of these types of questions i have answered

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  • Make your decision as soon as you know, and don't lead either of them on my making them think that you're not dating anyone else.

    As long as you're completely honest, I don't see any harm in it. I mean, I couldn't do it, but to each his own.

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  • Yes its very okay! Its called dating being in a relationship is different. You don't need to tell them but if you feel the need you sure can. They should know but be careful meeting the person online. Take a friend along or something. Rather be safe than sorry.

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  • It's called gathering prospects. It's always ok.

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  • You're allowed to talk to as many as you want. You're just dating and testing the waters right now.

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    • That's how I see it! But I'm worried these guys aren't on the same page as me..

    • No no no. What you do is your business. As long as you dont make anything official with anybody you should be good.

    • @Yous_15 How dare you say that 😞😒 lol

  • Never.

    Also, whenever you want.

    But mainly, never.

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    • Lol please explain?

    • It's a bad idea. All it does is create drama for yourself particularly because you're asking questions no one can actually answer that go beyond the surface:

      "Is it a great idea to date multiple people!", "YEAH AWESOME!"

      "So how do you actually manage dating multiple people?" [crickets]

      Haha, there's a reason for that.

  • Online relationships are not real and do not count.

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What Girls Said 5

  • It's always ok. If you're not in a relationship then you're single. You don't have to tell them that's your business.

    "Hey I went to dinner with someone else Thursday" lol for why? Don't discuss other guys with a guy it doesn't concern him he's not your bf

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  • dating multiple people is never okay

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    • Even if you're not technically boyfriend and girlfriend?

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    • I agree! That's what makes it so hard! It's difficult to keep from getting too deep into, but to figure out which one I like more, it's almost impossible to not get deep into it!

    • yeah thats the problem when you have choices aye haha just be careful ! :)

  • Its not bad to know multiple people at the same time.. I think that's being smart so you know there personality first than jumping into a fling or relationship. I personally would get to know them first in person coz what if they're different in person rather than online or texting

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  • Don't worry, I've done that too and a lot of people I know have. I don't think dating has to be taken too seriously all the time. You like two guys? No problem, just see where it goes. Only if it get's more serious, you'r probably gonna have to choose, but it should point out itself. I wouldn't tell about it because everyone reacts differently and it might give you a bad reputation while reality might not be the way they see it. I once dated two guys, one was a guy who was nice and wanted to know me better, the other one was more like a fuckbuddy, but with a date before the sex. A certain point, the dating with the good guy became more serious, and I stopped having dates with the fuck buddy. I however told the nice guy that I had a couple dates with the other guy but it only came down to sex. He however was offended that I let the other guy inside me after a first date, yet liked him better but didn't give him anything.

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  • I don't think dating multiple people is ever okay, at least in my opinion

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