My friend likes me, I'm seeing someone else, what do I do?

So to cut a long story short I've been single for a while. With university and other things I just haven't had the time to look for anyone. At 25 I've finally finished school, and thought "Hey, I'm ready to do this now!" So I've been going on dates for around a year, but never really clicked with anyone until a few weeks ago (probably partly because I'm nervous about touching people I don't know extremely well). The guy is nice, and funny, though I'm still feeling my way around and a little uncertain about how I feel about him. It might work, it might not, but it was no pressure, you know? Which was fine, I've never had a serious relationship, I've had maybe two boyfriends, and didn't wind up in bed with either.

Just as I meet this fellow, my best friend in the world randomly drops me a drunk message, casually asking if I want to go out. I ask him when he's sober if he meant it, and he laughed it off as just his mates trolling him. I've had this discussion with him before in the years I've known him, and every time he's laughed it off, so I assumed we were strictly platonic - and that's fine, that's all I wanted.

It came out a few days ago how my friend felt about me, and I just didn't know what to say. I don't feel that way about him, and I was totally upfront about how I didn't want to lose his friendship, but I can't be more.

Now my friend doesn't want anything to do with me, and every time I go on a date with the guy I've been seeing I feel sick. Like if this doesn't work I lost my friend for nothing, and as I said before I'm not totally sure about him. I've not enjoyed the last two dates since my friend told me at all. I feel guilty, like I must have done something wrong, and stressed to the point where all I want to do is cry, because I know I cannot just turn these feelings on for him.

What do I do? Do I cut ties with both of them and start over? Or do I try and work through how I'm feeling and see where this goes?


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What Girls Said 2

  • Your friend will eventually get over his feelings for you.
    Sure, he will be hurt but time mends all wounds.
    You have to put yourself first and think about your interest.
    The reality is , you're not getting any younger , and you have to begin your life with someone well worth it.

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  • You've done nothing wrong so don't give up you chance with the guy you're dating.

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