I love both of them... Who should I be with?

My ex and I broke up 4 months ago. I loved him so much it hurts. Til now I'm not completely over him yet. After the break up we were still very close, until a month ago he declares to be just JUST friends. I thought he has another girl already that's why. My current bf confessed me few days after my ex wants to really be just friends, and I accepted him. We're in a relationship now and I love him a tons. Not until yesterday, my ex called me and explained everything. He said he suddenly wanted us to be just JUST friends because he thought I like my bf at that moment. He was gonna get back with me but then he saw my bf (which wasn't my bf yet at the time). I'm devastated. I still have so strong feelings for my ex and knowing he was gonna get back with me hurts so bad. Now that I already have a bf, what can I do? My ex stills have feelings for me too, while my current bf starts to treat me like shit. He dusrespects me, always late, doesn't make me his top priority etc. If you were me, what will you do?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • There's a common saying "If you love two people at the same time then go for the second person, because if you really loved the first you wouldn't have fallen for the second." Although this does make sense I don't think it totally solves the problem because if you left the first for that reason then what's stopping you from leaving the second person for a third?

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    • Did you even read? My ex left me. Then I'm with my boyfriend now. Then he comes back to me. I still love him, but I love my bf too. That's the story... Then who's the first and who's the second one?

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    • Yes I'm positive he does love me. He's just always late and won't pick up the phone. He's not into PDA so he won't hold my hands in public and ask me to pretend to be friends in public. But I try to convince myself that's part of his personality. He always say he loves me I can feel that he really mean it.

    • Oh well in that case that does sound like some personality problem. Probably nervous about the whole thing.

What Guys Said 1

  • If i were you, i would talk things through with your BF, maybe he is stressed or having a tough time, and maybe that is the reason for his behavior. Or maybe he simply doesn't know that he was treating you badly. You should try to work things out with your curremt BF, because your ex left you, and hurt you, and whos to say he won't do it again?

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    • He left me because he fell out of love with me after we were 3 weeks together. We met only a week before we rushed into a relationship. I think that's why his feelings for me was unstable. He broke up with me saying I deserve someone who loves me, and he'll come back if he falls in love with me again, and he is coming back..

      AS for my current boyfriend, I've talk to counselor already and they said he won't change. He's 28 already so it's most likely either I get used to it or leave him. Hell he even ask me not to wear anything above my knees. His mindset is so different from mine...

What Girls Said 4

  • Talk to your boyfriend, it could be way of him stressing especially if he figured out what's going on about you and your ex. No guy or girl will be happy knowing that the person they are with still have feelings for their ex

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    • He doesn't know what's going on between me and my ex.

    • Well in that case, you should ask what's going on and if he continues treating you bad, you should end no one deserves that in a relationship it isn't healthy

  • The ex if your current one doesn't treat you well.

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    • My current bf just always late and won't pick up the phone. He's not into PDA so he won't hold my hands in public and ask me to pretend to be friends in public. He's very uncomfortable when I wear shorts. I can't tell if this isn't nice or it is but I can't imagine myself having to deal with all this everyday.

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    • But he doesn't know that's my boyfriend, and at that time the guy wasn't my boyfriend yet. Until now, he doesn't know about our relationship.

    • If he saw the guy he's still probably jealous. No matter what.

  • Go with your ex, everyone deserves a second chance if he fucks that up then you are better off with out him as for our current he's a piece of shit if he can't treat a beautiful girl like you.

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  • Leave him where he belongs... the past

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    • I don't see a future with my current bf honestly, due to different culture and background and stuffs. I'm willing to compromise but he's so intolerant. I'm thinking I'll explode if I have to deal with his bs all day everyday. I thought about ending this several times already but sice I do love him it's hard.

      My ex and I are more compatible than my bf and I though.

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    • What about my boyfriend? My heart is partially with him too?

    • Keep the one who's been around the longest. All guys are the same after a while anyway. At least you know he's a stayer

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