Guys, I suggested we spit the bill on the first and second date... bad call? what are we?

Hey!

I've never thought it was fair that guys are somehow expected to pay the bill on dates - it's 2014! I recently went out with a guy and when the waitress came I just politely asked if we could split the bill. No awkwardness what so ever. Date number two comes around, I do the same thing, again - no awkwardness.

Howeverrrrr - we still haven't kissed and from his pattern of texting it seems like he's becoming less interested (we've been taking non stop for almost a month now and in the past two or three days it's been waayyy slow). Does he think we're just buddies because I suggested we split the bill?

He knows i'm into feminism and what not, but I never discussed the bill thing lol

Updates:
*2015 my bad
but for real, what would you guys think if a girl did this?
We went from texting all day, every day super easily and without awkwardness to very awkward short conversations...

It's a really busy time for both of us, but still such a weird switch.

should I be concerned now? lol.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • How about I pay this time, and you pay next time? Splitting a bill at a restaurant is mathematically and logistically messy and awkward. Splitting a bill also seems like we really aren't together and just simple acquaintances.

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    • That's a really good idea! I'll try and remember to use that one next time :)
      Yeah, that's what I'm a bit worried about haha.

      In his text he did say "I'll take you for Chinese!" so maybe by splitting it I messed with his ideas ahhh I don't know. who thought trying to be nice would mess everything up haha

    • ... and remember, just because he buys you dinner doesn't mean you own him sex, LOL!

    • hahaha no no of course not! I think he knows that much of me as well :P

What Guys Said 4

  • when u say split... isn't it unfair that the one who ate more would pay less?

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    • oh no like we'd each pay for our own food

  • Me and my girlfriend fight over who pays the bill regularly. We agree that one of us picks the place to eat, the other pays. I suggest letting him pay next time, it's kinda a matter of pride for guys. When the girl trys to regularly split the check it makes him feel inadequate or less like a man.

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    • Yeah, that's a great solution when you're in a relationship!

      This was only our second date though- I'm just kind of thrown

  • take him out on a date and pay yourself , but maybe tell him before hand I don't know.

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    • well, it's already been done haha soo if it happened to you what would you think?

    • no i mean as a solution, go out again and say you want to take him out. i know people who do that sometimes. i mean if it happened to me it might cross my mind that we were just friends but if you voice that you want to go on another date he will know ur not just friends. be clear that u want it to be a date

    • hmmm good call - unfortunately I'm out of town for the next few weeks so I'll try that tactic when I'm back I suppose :S

  • I would love it never had it but some guy might feel disrespected. You want dinner

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    • Yeah, he certainly wasn't upset when I payed for myself haha. But I do see where you're coming from on the disrespected front 😔

    • A lot of guys have been programed to believe we have to pay or were inadequate

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