Guy I am seeing is super dense and not very emotional... how do I get him to open up?

I have been on several dates w/ this guy. He is a guys guy, he is not very emotional and somewhat hard to get to know. How do I crack this tough one here?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • He needs a broken heart. That's the best weapon to crack open a hard nut like that. Of course, that would mean 1) he'd already have to be in love with you and 2) you'd need to dump him.

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    • Oh that's sad. I don't think he feels that way about me... Will just spending time with him help? I just want to get to know him so that I can pick up on his moods and he can pick up on mine.. and we can just "get" each other, yanno? He's hard to understand though.

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    • Or just be patient and nice to him. Over time he might open up and when he finally shows how he feels and is met with warm reception he'll see people do care. If he has his heart broken again he'll just think all women are monsters...

    • No it's not. When shitty things happen to you, you might shut down for awhile, but a broken heart is a transformative experience because, to survive, you need to reach out and talk about it even if no one else really cares. It is like drowning and calling out for help.

What Guys Said 4

  • I can't really tell you, in the sense that this may be just the way he is, sometimes people are just very basic and there may be nothing to "get" to. Granted I know this isn't super helpful, just saying this may be the way he is.

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  • You can't get a guy who has his stuff together

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    • I cant? Why not? He says he has his stuff together :/

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    • Ah. So it's nothing I can like... try to do like spending time with him or anything that'll help?

    • It might help but chances are low

  • With time he should open up

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  • He's not your girlfriend

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    • No... but I want us to connect and get each other.

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    • All human beings have emotions emotional depth and emotional experience and a need to connect. Some are just ashamed so hide behind stereotypes. You can't force someone to open up and if you entry they may resent for it.

      All you can do is be open and show by example it's " safe" but don't expect miracles.

    • Again, why should I

What Girls Said 1

  • Try asking what he likes to do then do that and then throw in "so what else do you like to do?"

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