Why Do We Have This Repeating Conversation?

I am seeing this guy for a couple of months now and things are going great. We have spent so much time together, talked about everything under the sun and so he begins asking the question... The question being 'When are you going to tell me?'

What he is referring to is the word love. He is asking when I am going to tell him that I love him. One of the conversations we have had is about this statement. I have told him that I am not going to say those words to him because of the same reason, he probably wouldn't want to say this first either, rejection.

So he knows where I stand, essentially, why does he keep asking for me to say it?

Updates:
Definition of Love: I thought that this was great...

Well, when you love someone, it is pretty effortless. It is true and pure – you don’t need them to be any certain way. Heck, you don’t even need them to be your boyfriend or lover. You just simply enjoy them as a person and you’re happy with them just being who they are. You don’t need to possess them. You don’t need a title from them. You just love having them in your life and they love being in yours, whether it’s as friends, as lovers,

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Well I had this discussion with the woman I am with now. Initially I told her I would never say "I love you" first because I was worried that if I say it, and she is not feeling the same, then she will want to end things because she is too uncomfortable. but in the end I did tell her I love her even though I know she is not at that point yet. But I had my reasons. I wanted her to understand where she sits with me. and because I have a higher definition of "I love you" then most (my therapist and I have argued about it a few times), and she knows this, It let her know just how strongly I felt.
    but I have told her i don't want to hear the words until they are true feelings.
    So just tell him that. You don't want to say them just to say them. That you will only tell him that if it is true.

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    • I totally agree that those words aren't to be said lightly. I sometimes wonder if he asking to hear it so he doesn't think that I will run when he does get a bit crazy so to speak.

What Guys Said 4

  • To me you can't be coaxed into saying something like that... it has to be totally natural and of your own accord without external expectations/pressures.

    I told my girlfriend that I want to truly know her before I say I love her.

    I don't want to say it because its just simply attraction love... I want to say it because she means everything to me and that I can't see my life without her in it.

    It took me several months, however. when I finally did say it to her, she knew exactly what it meant by me saying it, and she was quite impressed that I did not rush with something as important as that.

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  • because he wants you to love him i guess but is to afraid to say it first. its pretty lame if you ask me.

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    • I tend to agree with you, I have described this conversation as a crazy dance that is shaped around this one word which may or may not take this a new place (so to speak). Thank you for your opinion :)

  • Cause he probably loves you

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  • But he wants you to say it probably he won't reject and if you like him just tell him :)

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    • I have thought that this might be the case, but I am not so much afraid of rejection, but perhaps, that he won't feel the same. Thank you for your opinion :)

What Girls Said 1

  • If you don't feel it then NEVER say it. If you do then why not tell him, he doesn't need to say it back and will it really make him leave you? If he does leave then he was never really going to be committed if a little love scared him away.

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