Is a 20 year old girl too young to date a 31 year old man?

I never thought I'd get involved with a man 8+ years older then me, and then I met this guy, and I was like oh hey, this could be a thing, cause he's hot and we have fun. But then I remembered I'm only 20 and in 5 years time, I'm going to look back on this and be like, "Wow, why did you date this guy? He was just using you. You're so dumb. You were embarrassing yourself."
It's obviously not gonna work out (despite our strong chemistry), but has anyone had experience in dating guys about 10 years their senior?

Updates:
He's 12 years older than me. You get the point though.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Wellll, I'm dating a 30 year old, and I'm 21. '^^ So I can kinda relate. Nine years age difference, sigh. He looks more like he's 25 though, so I was surprised.

    But anyway, he's been my best boyfriend to date. Before him it was just guys my own age. I honestly don't think they were any less prone to "using" me than older guys. That's something you just have to watch out for in general.

    And I mean, he actually picks up the phone and calls me often. When he texts, he does not talk 2 me like dis. We go on dates and don't just "hang out". He's a gentleman. He was never pushy or made me feel pressured to move faster than I wanted to. He's good at taking the lead and making me feel comfortable rather than expecting it to happen magically. He's really good in bed; like this is a legit learning opportunity, lol. He has diverse interests and has had time to cultivate some pretty cool artistic skills; he writes, paints, and he's even more well-read than I am (and I love to read).

    There's a lot I could list that just make being around him better than the other guys I've dated, and I don't know if it's an older guy thing or just a 'him' thing, a lot of it is we just have quite a bit in common and get on well, but whatever it is it's working for me and I like it.

    Do I think he'll be the last guy I date, or that this will turn into something serious? Who knows. Probably not. Maybe he's better suited to a woman closer to his own age, and maybe I'm too young and unsettled for serious commitment right now. Maybe he'll be my first real heartbreak. But I'm just enjoying our relationship and taking things as they come. If you like this guy you're thinking about, I recommend trying it. We're young, I think we can afford it.

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What Guys Said 6

  • Do you want to date him? Cool, then that's your answer.

    You should be able to decide on your own whether or not he's using you or actually likes you. You are 20, not 11.

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  • As a 20 year old man, I said, "what the hell is wrong with him? Why can't he get a woman his own age? As a 33-year-old man, I say, "Hell yes! Bring me the 20-year-old girls!"

    But seriously, Every time I talk to someone in their 20s, I'm reminded of how little we have in common. Probably not a good idea.

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  • If you have a connection, go for it, thats what it's all about

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  • People, friends, and family are going to think of you very differently if they're aware of that age difference. That is a fact.

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    • so you're saying it's looked down upon..

    • lol. My sister dates guys significantly older than her. Everyone in my family just laughs at her, or really does not respect any choices she makes when it comes to dating.

    • it's ill-advised, i know!! I'm assuming these guys have a high turnover right too with her. I'm at a crossroads, young and dumb, whatever.

  • As long as you 2 are happy then that is all that matters. Do what makes you happy, not the average gag user.

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  • On the one hand, who cares what we think. On the other, I'd say for sure yes.

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What Girls Said 1

  • Yes! is he really interested? or wants a younger girl? I've had both. I didn't regret it (really interested in me guy) but we did both talk about being in different points in our lives and it just wasent working out. but the other guy completely just wanted to say he was fucking a younger girl. I was completely blind sided. just really figure out what he wants and don't regret it have fun! Just don't get blind sided and get hurt, we think that they are more mature at that age but most of the time sadly they are not

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