So I've been seeing this guy for 5 months now. He's super funny, smart, nice, awesome kisser, and overall a pretty good guy. BUT he has no job and stopped going to school a few years ago. (He's 24 now) He has a lot of free time that I just sometimes don't have. We've never really been on a "date," just kind of hung out, for lack of a better term. it doesn't bother me that he doesn't go to school. going to college doesn't automatically make someone a better person. It doesn't bug me that he has no job. I know he's been looking. What bugs me is that he won't let me take him out and pay. I'd like to think I have my shit together, even if I'm only 21. I go to school, have a good job, make decent money, have my own car, I still live at home but only to help my mom with rent and bills. It would be nice to be with a working student, as they would understand my lack of time a bit better, but this guy is really tugging on my heart strings. have you ever dated someone in a similar position? what was the outcome?
- yes, that doesn't matterVote A
- no, they need to get their shit togetherVote B
Most Helpful Guy
It would depend on how hard they were looking. I've known some people that were out of work for months, and when I talked to them about it they told me they were only looking for management positions and stuff... that kind of thing would drive me nuts.
The way I see it, if you have no job, your job is trying to get a job. So if they were putting in 40 hours a week trying to get a job, then sure, no problem. Working on resumes, getting them out there, blanketing the city trying to get anything to at least get some money coming in while they look for something else. If that still keeps running dry, then trying to find classes to help find something, or some way to intern somewhere... anything. Otherwise you really have to wonder what their 'exit strategy' from unemployment is.
It's not like they would have to spend every waking minute looking for work, but if they weren't at least putting in 40 hours a week trying to get out of that situation, then I would know that their unemployment isn't because of a lack of opportunity, it was because of a lack of effort. And that gives me concern fro what else they would not put their effort into. I don't want a partner that will half-ass it when it comes to taking care of kids, or helping pay a mortgage, or whatever. If one partner becomes ill for an extended period of time, the other needs to cover that problem, and I would need to know the person was capable of that.
At least, all of this is if I was considering the person for a long term relationship. If it's just a summer fling or something I wouldn't care at all.0