Are my expectations too high when I'm looking for a girlfriend?

Just to clarify, I am bisexual.
So I feel like I'm ready for a new partner, I want a girlfriend.
My expectations:
- Not fat but also not too skinny
- Doesn't look like a guy
- Doesn't have muscles like a man
- Want them to have longish hair
- If they're white I prefer them to have blue or green eyes
- I want them ink'd but not too Ink'd
- I want them to be drinkers but definitely not alcoholics
- I want them to accept I sometimes self harm
- I want them to accept I sometimes starve myself
- I want them to keep their negativity to themselves
- I don't want them to control me and tell me what I can and can't do
- I want them to put effort in with me
This isn't everything but with what you've read, do you think I expect way too much from a lady? :/


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Most Helpful Guy

  • 30% of america is obese. So you slimmed down your options to 60% of the population.
    most girls are not muscular and do have long hair. so not slimming your options down by much.

    blue or green eyes is rarer, but not too rare, i'd say so far you're looking at 20-30%

    tattoos are rarer, so lets say 10%...
    if she has tattoos she probably drinks or smokes weed

    whether or not they accept you i dont think can be quantified. to be honest i dont know if any girl will ever accept anyone for who they are. i dont know if its in their nature.

    you want them to keep their negativity to themselves? good luck with that. you dont want them to try to control you? dont date a woman. you want them to put effort into you, or anyone else but themselves? HAH. As if thats going to happen.

    As far as the physical characteristics, you're well within reason... Many girls like that do exist and they're not so hard to find. But you may have to accept that beautiful women who are also good people may just not exist. At least not in the sense you are looking for. They are self absorbed, catty, mean manipulating and controlling and they're the way they are because they're beautiful. Because of how people treat them, and what it does to their minds.

    Also if you consider gay people are about a 10th of the population, and the number of bisexual girls is smaller than that, you're looking at a girl whos 1/100 on physical and sexual traits alone. not even taking personality into it. At the same time i see lesbians always have a much easier chance finding someone because they MAKE it easier, because of what is available to them. You will have a much easier chance being a girl trying to fuck a girl then a guy trying to fuck a girl, even though there's less girls who that swing that way

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    • I'm from United Kingdom, our obesity isn't as bad as America.
      I dated a girl for 3.7 years and some of the things I've listed is what she did, for example: she controlled me.
      I don't want them to be really pretty, I've learned that the hard way.
      I need to start being more realistic with what I want :')

    • well when i say pretty i mean any girl who isn't ugly. they set the bar REALLY low these days. every girl who isn't special wants to believe they should be treated special, and the girls who actually are special, think they should be treated like goddesses. its not right, its not pleasant to be around, and those people become black holes but thats what happen when any bitch can just go on tumblr or instagram and get famous, and any fat ugly girl can go on okcupid and have her pick of the desperate men. when if it weren't for the internet, no man would ever pay them any attention.

      you have to realize that desperate men ruin women for everyone and there's nothing you can do but punch them in the face every time they facebook post about how perfect some girl is

What Guys Said 1

  • yeeeaaaahhhhhh, good luck with that, sweetheart...

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What Girls Said 2

  • the list is kinda long tbh.. but i hope you find a goof gf

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    • I know its too long, I had a girlfriend but she didn't reach my expectations so I ended it after 4 days.
      I think I should definitely lower the list a little, but thanks :)

    • welcomed:P

  • Like the others said, it may be a bit hard to get a girl that completely matches everything here.
    For example, there's plenty of women who match the personality, but are non-drinkers, and have no tattoos. Likewise, there's also many women who have tats, like alcohol in reasonable amounts, but will never just say 'oh yeah my gf self harms' and be fine with you continuing.

    Instead of having these expectations as a kind of checklist, perhaps change some of them to preferences, or even just a loosely-held guide.

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