Why do so many women defend the notion of being a slut?

I have noticed that many females on here have chosen the notion to defend being a slut. Many of them ask about why people choose to slut shame. First, and yes, This applies to men as well. But if in my case, and if I am to truly respect a female, Then would a good way to make me respect you not consist of to the least make me earn the right to be intimate with you? Do some of you not respect yourselves enough to at least require some effort on the part of the other person? How can someone come on here and ask about why slut shaming happens? My logic is simple. Men connot respect a woman that is easy, as they would not have to worry about meeting any standards to be with said woman. No man that is looking for relaationship material would want to be with a woman that has had every Tom, Dick and Harry either. And ladies, Just for the record, I think this standard of being reserved should apply to men and women alike. I just don't know how some would want to justify this.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • PREACH!

    Everytime I say that a girlshould dress the way they want people to perceive them (dress like a whore and people will see you as a whore, dress like a respectable girl and people will see and treat you as a respectable girl), I always get tons of downvotes and shitstorm.

    It's like on GAG, many girls seem to be the type that want to show half their tits to the world but don't you DARE look at them!

    lol fucking ridiculous.

    Those "sluts" want to walk around like a slut, yet don't want people to judge them by their clothing choices. Well I'd say WAKE UP, HONEYS! People WILL judge you because of your clothing choices. So if you want to avoid negative judging, have some dose of self respect and tuck your puppies and butts in!

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    • Very well said. Enough of them seem to want an honest perspective, So I am here to give it to them. I also challenge some of the guys here to examine how they might look through a woman's eyes if their stories are the same as well.

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    • So if I wear a crown would you treat me like a queen?

    • If your crown is made of real ass gold and diamonds and rubies and Jade and what not, then yeah

What Girls Said 12

  • I am not defending them, but I find that the term is overused by sexually frustrated people on this site. I have nothing against people who are waiting till marriage or people who think that sleeping around is dirty/immoral but I am against anyone who call others degrading names. Everyone deserves some sort of respects. To me, that is their business, their lives. They aren't harming you. Also, I don't think it's necessary to tell the people here that you aren't gonna date or marry them, because I guess they don't care.

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    • Many of them wish to know why guys like me look down on that. First, I am aware of the double standard that many people carry. I don't find hypocrisy useful in any given situation. So if either men or women expect a certain trait from the other, then it is not a good idea to reflect it? My whole thing is become what you would seek in another. This is just a food for thought sort of thing here. Ultimately, I don't care what people would do with their personal lives. But if some are going to come here to defend it, There will be people like me that choose to question it.

  • I'll defend a woman's right to be a "slut" because it's her body and she can do with it as she pleases. A woman's number of sexual partners has no impact on the type of person she is or what kind of wife she would make. I know virgins who are complete assholes and super high maintenance, and I know "sluts" who have become to most faithful and amazing girlfriends. Her sexual past has no impact on anything that has to do with you, so I don't see why it's anyone's business. You might not respect a woman if she's had a few sexual partners, but I think that says more about you than it does about that woman.

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    • First, I would not consider a "slut" as good wife material as they have not demonstrated to me that any self control is present. So if they don't show or demonstrate these traits of faithfulness by acting a bit more reserved, Then what would cause me to think that it would be there in a marital situation? How people carry themselves and the choices they make is telling of their character. Secondly, I don't wish to deny anyone their right to be a slut. When people come on here asking why slutty behavior is seen as less than respectable by guys like me, Then I am going to pose a few questions of my own. So bear with me as I tell you that this forum is a give and take.

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    • Actually, I have quite a bit of experience, and I have learned a lot from it. And as for society's ever changing rules, I have no interest in being a blind follower. Just because society might say what was considered wrong back then is considered okay now, it does not mean that I will be among the blind who follow that logic. I will never be the one to blindly follow.

      So because I choose to live my life in a certain way, and explain why I believe the way I do while expecting a potential mate to meet the same standards that I follow makes me narrow minded? Why? Because I did not wish to be with someone who has been with more people in bed than I have fingers and toes? It's not being judgmental. It's just a matter of choosing not to settle for those who justify substandard behavior.

    • Nobody is trying to take away your right to be a slut.

      But you wish to take the right away from men to have autonomy over who they choose to have as company and how much commitment they should give.

      Go be a slut for all it's worth. But if a man doesn't want you because of it, you only have yourself to blame.

  • As a female who is guilty of slut-shaming men relentlessly, I wholeheartedly agree.
    When a guy is a sleazy, tactless, self-absorbed jerk who puts his own sexual gratification or desire to stroke his ego before any sort of a value system, most females, including myself won't hesitate to call him a pig or a man-whore. Why? Because it's true. We live in a world where humanity likes for people to TAKE ACCOUNTIBILITY WHEN YOU ARE WRONG. To humbly own up to doing something ugly, messed up, or harmful to another's emotional, mental, or physical wellbeing. This is why we have a justice system. This is why there is public outrage when people who are guilty get away with no punishment.

    The words 'slut and whore' are no different from the words 'bitch and asshole'. They are not so friendly, pleasant, nice adjectives used to describe some not so friendly, pleasant, nice behavior. When someone is a blatant bitch or asshole then called out on it, do they argue for the right to be as much of a bitch or asshole as they'd please? No. So why is it that when someone demonstrates tacky slutty behavior they argue for the right to be shameless about their actions? Doesn't make sense to me.

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    • You hit the nail right on the head with what you wrote. It is up to both Women and Men to show the other that there is something worth respecting. It all comes down to being a reflection of what you want. I all the time hear about people complaining because they got used by this person, or that person. Well, If people reflected the traits of their ideal person, and demonstrated the qualities they would like to see from them, then perhaps most of these complainers would be in a better place...

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    • You didn't piss me off, sweetie. Your persistent, entitled nosiness is just irritating. That's all.

    • I know, right? Saved me tons of unwanted drama too. Hell, I don't even wear skirts shorter than mid-thigh, and my body is anything but sexy. Yet I still occasionally get creepers after me. I can't imagine the kind of unwanted attention skanky girls get...

  • If you don't want to date a promiscuous girl, that's fine. That's your choice.
    But, who are you to shame them or disrespect them? It's their body. They're allowed to do what they want with it.

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    • To those who do get around, What about showing someone something they can respect? Instead of simply use? Just out to make a few people think.

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    • I wouldn't say they are "already wrong", but like Esplorare said, they just want to be "seually free" without having to face the consequences. IDGAF if you want to be "sexually free" and feel free with your body. I DO give a fuck if you want to act "sexually free" but not want to be judged. Because that's just silly and that person needs to get in check with reality. People judge. Either be fine with facing it, or avoid doing things that invite harsh judgements altogether. You can't change the whole world, honey, you can only change the way you act if judgements bother you.

    • @thedevillnside

  • Why do you feel the need to police women for their sexual desires?

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    • Or rather, why do you feel the need to police other people's sexuality. It has nothing to do with you.

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    • Being overly judgmental doesn't make you respectable.

      Policing people's behaviour doesn't make you respectable.

      Degrading people for their sexuality doesn't make you respectable.

      Reinforcing a twisted version of morality (that has little to do with morality and much to do with control) doesn't make you respectable.

      Living my life as I see fit? That should be respected.

    • HHAHA, That's all fine and well, but as I said many other times, I have no desire to dictate what other people do. But I am giving an honest opinion. When so many people come on here and question why people like me might find something as being less than respectable, I am going to attempt an answer to that by posing a few questions such as what I asked. There is a difference between attempting to police someone's bedroom behavior and giving your honest opinion of it when it seems that many people are asking about why people like me think that being a slut is less than respectable.

  • not sure. some girls shouldn't be so naive and sleep with any guy

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  • I think it is a woman's own business how she dresses and what she does on her private life. However... if you put it out there... deal with the consequences

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    • That's pretty much true. If so many on here don't want to know what other people might think, They should not go putting out things they might not want the real answers to. As with any given topic, and here especially, Expect it to be challenged.

  • Because they can relate, that simple.

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  • The only thing I defend is people having the right to have as much or as little sexual partners as they choose to have, since it's their body.

    I'm personally waiting but I don't expect everyone to be that way and I don't think it's ok to shame them for it. Or to suggest that a person can't respect another regardless of their past, i've seen a lot of women and men who don't care either way. Not everyone is like you.

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  • whole world is slut. what planet you came from?

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    • Not this one. I should have been here generations ago. Not now. lol

  • it is a site of conflict of class war. Expect resistance. Prepare for death

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  • My sexual history is very shallow in numbers, but I have dumped guys who've felt the need to slut shame women. I don't tolerate shaming of any kind regardless of gender. Someone's sexual history doesn't give you the right to be an asshole to them.

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    • This is true but it does give me the right to not want to be in a relationship with them.

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    • What the hell thats weird. Why doesn't it tag me, I thought I put a capital K And not a lower case k?

What Guys Said 12

  • I see nothing wrong with women who enjoy having sex and do so on their own accord. There is of course the double standard where women who've slept with X number of men are sluts and men who have slept with the same number of women wear it as a badge of honor.

    There's 2 general types of women in the slut category (not that I'd use the term myself); Those who have a high libido and go out and find men to have fun with just as men do, and the women who might be insecure and/or gullible and get bullshitted into sleeping with men.

    I see nothing wrong with the first category, and the second are just naive and will hopefully snap out of it but that doesn't make them bad, digusting or whatever. If you have different standards that's fine, just go and look for your ideal woman, but don't go and criticize women who don't share your 'superior' moral code.

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    • Again, as I have stated, This is in response to those wondering why people like me find promiscuity to not be respectable. So when I see those posts, This is basically my reply to it. Kind of a give and take if you will.

    • Who are you to judge them though? I don't mean that in a disrespectful way, but do people mock and look down on your for being more 'respectable' in the regard?

    • This post is about the actions that people take. So when they ask about why their behavior might be looked down upon, They are going to get an honest answer. When it comes to actual judgment of a person, I don't agree with that. Now judging actions, that correlates with character. That can be a good thing or a bad thing.

  • Here's the deal in a nutshell: How many men do you call slut?

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    • I am sure there are many men this could apply to as well.

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    • Yes, it undeniably applies to both women and men. . . but it is never said about men. That is why it upsets so many women, and I understand their reaction.

    • Yeah, I can too, and only women can change that as far as this scenario goes. If they called out men who got around and if men's promiscuous behavior was frowned upon too, It would be a big change for the better in my book.

  • The concept of sexual freedom rings well because the word "freedom" is in it. The idea of the actual implication that someone is a walking STI engine who has the standards of a mole rate and is down to fuck a lamppost isn't included.

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  • Personally I have no respect for women who sleep with a lot of men and I have no respect for men who sleep with a lot of women, however I keep that to myself, there's no need or benefit to tell them that there are sluts whenever I see them... They won't affect me in anyway what so ever because I have the will and ability to choose that non-slut woman which I love and respect, and this is all what I care about, why would I care about other women?

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    • They are*

    • I do agree. Now when so many people come on here and ask why we don't see that as respectable, Then this is gonna be shot out there. but yeah, If it were not for that, There would be nothing mentioned on my part if not asked about by so many others. I do agree with you.

  • My whole view on this is if you want to have sex with multiple men at the same time and go out clubbing and talk to different guys at the same times thats all good but don't expect me to want to be in a relationship with you because that shit ain't gonna happen.

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    • Let me be clear I think women should apply the same thing to men. Women should have the thought process that if a dude wants to bang other chicks and go out clubbing and get 5 different phone numbers a night then he can do that shit, just don't expect a the girl to keep talking to him and try to develop a relationship. People act like they are just gonna stop messing around just because they got in a relationship lmao. You telling me after messing around with different people while single that you're gonna just stop cold turkey because you're in a relationship now? Please.

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    • All I'm saying is shouldn't have to sit at home waiting for you to get home wondering what you're doing at the party/club. Call me insecure but everyone knows what "girls night out" means.

    • Sadly, Most often times, And as sad as it is to admit, You are correct. But not all the time. I would rather have people begin to question a few things and raise their standards to keep the wrong ones out. And to those wrong ones who simply would use another for a toy to be discarded later, It is my desire to have them also put the shoes on the other feet.

  • They don't have to justify anything to you, just like you don't have to justify your views to us. Mind your own business.

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    • So when people come on here and try to defend their actions, It kind of leaves an open door for a perspective like mine. It's a give and take scenario, and this is a public forum, so deal with it.

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    • That's not how your initial reply came off. But anyway, Since enough people ask about it, and I have seen enough people ask about this topic, Then I shall pose a few questions of my own. It's a give and take here. No need to be a tool.

    • Your opinion doesn't come across as neutral on this subject either, but point taken.

      I think there's enough people of both genders who worry about their partners' sexual past, and those who are not bothered by it at all. We can just all pair off with the people we get along with, there's not need to be slinging "slut" or "prude" back and forth.

  • so ll women need to accept your thinking/morals?

    ok dude...

    i'm a man, i don't give a fuck who sleeps with who..

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    • Obviously, You did not read the question before commenting. No reason to go any further with you. it's kind of self explanitory.

    • ok... so you're morally pontificating... got it.

  • It's the hookup culture

    Damn Hippies

    Wish I could wipe it off the face of the planet

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    • It's more or less because of the freedom aspect of it. People think that just because they might be free to do something that it excuses them from the consequences of such. Wrong answer. lol

  • Because they ARE sluts, brother. Women who are not sluts are much harsher on sluts than men are, trust me.

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  • I don't understand why people are so quick'n'petty to judge others (so long as they aren't hurting anyone else) in general. Why would anyone hold themselves to "principles" that they don't agree with? For *your* approval?

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  • Of course the slutty girls will defend themselves. What do you expect?

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    • Don't draw their ire! You'll be the only guy that won't be able to use their ol' ragged holes.

    • HAHAHA That's okay. I'm good. The idea of throwing a hot dog down a hallway is something I can pass on. lol

  • Why do so many people worry so much about other people's personal lives, including their sex lives, to the point of tossing out names and slurs. You're 38 years old, not 8.

    Act like it and worry about yourself. Did your mother teach you that?

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    • With all due respect, The question about slut shaming comes up a lot here. So with respect to that, I chose to pose a few questions to them and see if they would like to answer some of my questions if they are going to defend it.

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    • I want to know about why one might choose to defend it. I have seen many people come on here, asking their questions in an effort to defend their behavior. So I think it's only fair, that should I choose to, Question it as well.

    • Well I can't answer for those people. I've seen them too, and they tend to be from the younger crowd. So I suppose it's understandable that they haven't yet learned to not worry about appeasing everybody in the world.

      However, a ton of people like to do the slut shaming and I don't quite understand why. It's always a name given by others, never by the person doing the "slutting". So when it's tossed around only by other people, there's no 'standard' for the word and it's indiscriminate. Not to mention it's pretty pointless because like I said, it's essentially just people worrying about other people's sex lives.

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