Guys, How do I know if he's in love with me?

Been seeing a guy officially for 4 months now and he courted me about 4 months prior. athough he never officially asked me to be his girlfriend (which i think is tacky anyway), he has made it clear we are not seeing anyone else, and if i were to, it would be cheating on him and we would break up.

His bestfriend came to visit him from out of town for a couple of days and he set up a date for us to meet each other. He also asked me to meet one of his other close friend before that. He texts me all through out the day and night before he sleeps. He has somewhat introduced my presence in his life to his mom over the phone and of course our picture on his facebook which his mother and family comment on. He's very caring, very chivalrous, and everytime i brought up something I did not like, he makes sure it is resolved and I am happy with the resolution. He jokes about our future children, but for the life of me, I can't figure out how he really feels. this guy is very quiet about his feelings. Even when he says he misses me, he would say it sarcastically and it sounds like he doesn't want to put himself in a vulnerable position. I feel I am falling in love with him but I myself have severe trust issues and this is my second relationship (first one lasted over a decade of marriage) and I definitely don't have enough experience to tell whether a man is serious or not. Can a man actually do all this and still could be insincere about the whole relationship? We are in our early 30s.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • This sounds like a sincere guy who is just very, very afraid of expressing his feelings verbally. His actions show his feelings but everyone needs to hear - in words - how their partner feels about them and the relationship. Next birthday, Valentine's Day, whatever, when he asks what you would like, tell him the greatest gift in the world would be for him to let his guard down, trust you, and tell you how he feels.

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    • Thanks! He did tell me he loves me and has for a while but was afraid I didn't feel the same. He did say I always thought you knew because I've always showed it through my actions

    • What wonderful news! Now remember that a relationship is like a garden; if you ignore it, everything will wither and die but if you tend it daily, you will have a great harvest. Good luck!

What Guys Said 5

  • Well it sounds like he does care for you quite a bit. At least I think so because I personally would not introduce just any girl to my best friend and my mom. I do not believe he could do all of that and be insincere, so at least on some level he likes, cares for, or maybe even loves you. He may not realize his feelings yet or may not want to say how he feels at he moment. If you really feel he is being sarcastic when he says he misses you and that bothers you, talk to him about it.

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  • as others have said, and as you said in a response to MHO, he probably just doesn't verbally express his feelings very well, or assumes women understand his actions.

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  • Some people just aren't touchy feely with feelings. Nothing wrong with that. Seems to me like you're just a little insecure. Aand thats because he needs to be more vocal. However actions speak lowder than words. Saying you love someone dosent mean shit. Being in the moment with them and being a helpful loveable partner that you progress with is what love is.

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  • why dont u ask him dumbass instead of writing an essay

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    • If you ever grow up, you'll understand why this was such a mean comment for you to post. Five years from now, if you remember doing this, do you think you will be proud of yourself? You should apologize to this lady. This site is intended for people to ask opinions and advice and you called her a "dumbass" for asking for advice.

    • @olderandwiser to be fair to @james687 , he has a point - QA is 30+ and too scared to talk about feelings w/ her boyfriend. Onus is equally on her.

    • @cheesesteak7 there's just something a little distasteful about asking someone if they love you or not. It's an awkward situation if they didn't no matter how old you are and if you do love someone, it should be very clear in your words backed by your actions especially at this age.

  • He likes you, but at the sametime shy.

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