Should I be ok with GF going to bar without me?

Been with my GF for about 3 months and things have been going great. She goes to college about 30mins away and lives with 3 of her girlfriends. Before we met she would go to the bars with her roomates 4-5 times a week. Since weve been together she hasn't gone out at all unless I've been with her (same goes with me, I only go out when I'm with her). There is only 3 weeks left for her at school and she told me a couple nights ago that she wants to go out with her roomates before school ends. We got in a slight argument but it ended with me telling her she can do what she wants. The more I think about it the more I'm not ok with her going out. People go to bars/clubbing to do 1 thing... drink and meet new people which most hope turns into sex... anyone who thinks otherwise is just lying. I feel this isn't about trust its about putting yourself in a bad situation... when you put people around temptations--in this case guys--and add alcohol you are just playing with fire right? When I asked her why she wanted to go out she again answered with there's not much school left and she wants to hang out with her roomates. Add in the fact that 2 of her roomates are sluts--not just throwing that term out there, they have slept with 40+ guys each.

I dont want to be controlling but at the same time I dont want to be a doormat and not speak my mind. Do I have a right to be mad here... and how should I address it with her?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • You don't have a right to be mad. Yes you should let her go. If you start controlling her behaviour there's a high chance she'll get sick of it and leave you anyway. You might not believe it but people go to bars to have fun and chill with their friends too. Plus if her friends are single they have every right to sleep with whoever they want without being called sluts - you wouldn't call guys that.
    Bottom line is if you can't trust her then you shouldn't be with her. You can express your mind without being a doormat but you are being unreasonable here.

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What Girls Said 3

  • She should be allowed to go out if she wants. People do not just go to bars to find people to sleep with. Sounds like she just wants to celebrate the end of the school year with her friends.

    Obviously you have reasons to be concerned. You know how people can be at bars.. There are definitely guys who try to grab girls and stuff there. However, just because her friends like to sleep around does not mean she is going to be unfaithful to you. You have to trust her.

    Thing is, she could meet a guy just as easily at a grocery store or in the cafeteria at her school. Should she stop going to those places as well?

    I understand your concern. However, I think you need to realize that she's' your girlfriend and she's with you for a reason. You have to trust this girl. You can't judge her for the company she keeps. Who knows, those could be girls she has known since birth and doesn't want to end the friendship since they've been friends for so long. People have friends who have completely different lives than they do.

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  • Don't try to stifle and control her. It's not fair for you to expect to deflate her social life now that she's with you. sluttiness isn't contagious. Just because she goes out with girls who are hoes doesn't mean she'll do it herself. You really expect this girl to sit at home while her roomies are out having fun? Not gonna happen. Just chill and trust your girl. You picked her so have faith that you picked the right woman who won't betray you.

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  • I understand how you feel, I used to be like that, but if you trust her, you should let her go. If it turns out that she cheated on you, then she is not a girl for you.
    You should tell her that it upsets you, I do that too with my bf, but it's very important that you trust eachother.
    And it's not because they are sluts, that your girl is also like that :) you'll have to let her go.. Best thing is to set your mind on other things when she's out. Try not to think about it that much

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What Guys Said 1

  • depends what she wears out

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