Would you date someone with a child?

Question pretty much says it all. I personally wouldn't date someone with a child. Would you?

  • No I would not
    48% (30)66% (40)57% (70)Vote
  • yes I would
    52% (32)34% (21)43% (53)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I married a woman with 2 kids and we now have two of our own.

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    • That's awesome! :)

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    • Beautiful :-) :-)

    • That's so sweet of you :)

What Guys Said 42

  • I respect single mothers but at this point in my life I can't see myself ever doing that. I'd feel the need to contribute and be a constant part of the kids' life. I love kids but if we break up I have to consider the children's feeling if we got close and the whole situation gets messy.

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    • Yep completely agree.

    • I think that's why its best to keep the child out of the relationship until it gets serious. That way you can date without having to make your partner feel overwhelmed and if it doesn't work out the child's feelings aren't hurt either.

  • I don't think I would just because I'm 24 and just don't think I'm at that stage in my life right now.

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  • I don't want kids anyway, so no, i definitely wouldn't. Even if i did want kids someday, i wouldn't want to have kids that had another father.

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  • probably not

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  • Yes. It happened twice in my family and both relationships worked.

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  • The older you get, the more likely you will be willing to date someone with kids already. Heck, the more likely it is that the women (and men!) have kids already as you get older.

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  • Unlikely.

    If we're dating, I assume she expects me to take a role of a father of her child sooner or later. She probably won't state it out loud, but this is what she wants deep down inside.

    This is a bit of a problem. It's terrible to grow up in incomplete family and indeed a child needs both parents, however, there's a slight problem:
    You see, when a woman is pregnant, her man goes through some emotional roller coaster as well, he adjusts himself to a thought he's about to become a father, is nervous about the pregnancy no less than a woman is etc. During this pretty much he much come to a conclusion: does he REALLY wants this child or not.
    If not, you all know stories where a guy would break up with a woman during her pregnancy.
    If he's neutral, he's going to be a pretty much "whatever" dad, the one that does takes care of basic needs of a child (shelter, food, clothes etc), but doesn't really cares about it that much in order to take heavy role in child's development.
    If yes, it's very likely he's going to become an awesome dad.

    So when a man meets a woman that already has kids, 2 problems may arise that a man probably won't notice / won't think of at first.
    1.) A child may or may not sometimes remind a man that there was another man in woman's life. Sure, we're not stupid and we know that pretty much every woman had another man in her life, but we're trying not to think about it. A child is basically a walking reminder.
    2.) A man skips the stage of preparation of becoming a father, thus his chances of becoming a good, caring step dad are rather low. Exceptions exist, but they are rare.

    So that's why I personally wouldn't date a woman with a child. I don't want to give her false hopes, nor I think I'd be able to adjust a kid I have no connections with whatsoever.

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  • my heart: yes
    my mind: nope. not gonna happen.
    i love kids, but only if they are from my genes and their mothers.

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  • Most likely, no. Unless she's a widow, I don't see the point of being with a woman that has a child. How am I to know if what she says about the child's father are lies? I know some women don't lie, but some do.

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  • haha no I'll pass just sounds like a lot of work to me I believe a step mom or step dad can do really good at taking care of their step child, but there are not many out there and yes their are parents who are terrible at taking care of their biological child as well, but scientifically speaking the real mother has a higher chance of loving their child because they produce a lot of this chemical called oxytocin which allows them to love their biological child more than anything produced in the hypothalamus and the biological father is more capable of loving their biological child than a step dad would because the biological child would have half of their biological father's genes.

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  • No I deserve better.

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    • What do you mean you deserve better?

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    • Like I said im on my phone and I have nothing to prove to you. Your education is your problem

    • I'm very educated so that's not the problem and let's just agree to disagree. I don't need to discuss anything else.

  • hmph... not my thing basically

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  • If you love someone it shouldn't matter if they're a single parent.

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  • No, I don't look forward to becoming a potential father figure.

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  • Nope not happening

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  • Nope and never :)

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  • No reason not to.

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  • I tried it once but never again. Relationships are already hard enough without kids.

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  • Yep, I'm separated with a child of my own. So, hopefully women are open-minded to me too.

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  • Don't want to have to deal with someone else's mess and children. Besides, the husband is not the primary and maybe even secondary concern to the wife/mother. The kids are first and I wouldn't be surprised if the husband is sharing fruit roll ups with the child.

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  • Yes i find it not a deal breaker at all

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  • Hell yeah, as long as I am financially ready lol.

    But, she has to be open with having one with me though. I've always wanted a kid of my "own" so to speak.

    Gotta keep the lineage going lol

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  • What we all have learned today was that women are more likely to date men with kids than the other way around.

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  • Not a chance, I don't even want to have kids of my own let alone raise someone elses. I could do something sexual if she was down for that, but no further because I can't stand kids.

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  • Hell no.

    You know what they call guys who are fine with the idea of raising another man's child?

    Extinct.

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    • Not true. After my mom passed away, my biological father was a horrible man so we went and lived with our step dad. He didn't treat us any different then his biological kids. It just depends on the type of man he is willing to be.

    • @Meowsers

      a man who spends his life raising another man's kids won't have his own... hence, his genes die and he becomes extinct.

    • Not always true. My step dad had 2 kids with my mom. They are 12 and 14 now. It just depends on the man. If the woman doesn't want to have anymore kids but the man wants to have some of his own children then obviously they don't belong together.

  • I wouldn't be able to see her face knowing she did all that I like girls who are innocent and cute and takes sex seriously and would only do it for love and reproduction. I wouldn't love her. I wouldn't be able to take this loving relationship to the next level if she had a son. It's impossible

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    • Really? You don't need to sleep around often to get pregnant. My boyfriend was my first. We did it out of love and reproduction literally he was my first kiss and everything. A child doesn't make you "less innocent". You can look and act innocent and be the biggest hoebag haha

  • No way Jose.

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  • Not at my age.

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  • I fucked a girl with a kid

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  • Honestly, no. I want my own kids, I don't want to be a stepdad.

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What Girls Said 33

  • Sure. I love kids. I wouldn't rule someone out just because they have them. I come from a blended family. My mom and dad met when I was barely 2yrs old. Got married when I was 5. With my dad (yes he's my dad, in every way it counts) I got 3 sisters. Blood couldn't make us any closer. My parents are divorced now unfortunately, but that didn't change a thing between me and my dad or my sisters. And I just recently lost one. Think it hurt any less? Absolutely not.

    I personally don't mind if someone has a child. If I'm into them then I'll be open.

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  • Hell no.
    I don't want a constant reminder that his d*ck has been in some other girl's p*ssy. -_- Plus his ex would ALWAYS be in the picture. No thank you.

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  • No, I don't think I would, at least not at this point in my life. I don't want the whole "family" thing right now. I'm still in college and focusing on myself and my future career so it wouldn't really be fair to the other person. If I were older and already established in my career then my answer would probably be different.

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  • My bestfriend's dad passed away from a sudden heart attack, and her mom was in a serious relationship within a year. Her boyfriend soon became her fiancĂ©. No one ever thought he would settle down, and he was already in his mid 40s. This was hard for my friend, she didn't approve of the relationship.
    However he did something most men wouldn't do. He took on a teenager and a child, in order to be with the woman he loved. I have ever since admired him for that as my friend is probably the most rebellious teenager i know.
    His father-figure has helped the family grow stronger and stick together through difficult times. He helped them move on.

    I therefore think I would date someone with children, if I loved the man and was absolutely sure that I would end up with him.

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  • Deal breaker, I don't come with baggage so I'd like to date someone without it too. I LOVE KIDS but not all kids have kind and understanding mommas.

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    • Everyone has baggage of one kind or another.

    • Yeah I agree. Even if you don't have kids you still will have baggage that you both will bring. Some less, some more. I don't really consider a child as "baggage"

  • I dated a guy with a 2 year old son. I wasn't looking for that kind of commitment, but I grew to really care for both. Then he used me and cheated with 2 other women. I know that has nothing to with the child, but I don't think I would want to try again. Maybe when I am older I might be, but definitely not at this point in my life.

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  • I've never wanted kids and at this point in my life I couldn't date someone with kids. Maybe when I'm older, but now it's a deal breaker.

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  • Nope, I would not.

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  • I have, it's okay. Not for me, so I probably wouldn't do it again.

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  • Yes I would it shouldn't hold you back from love.

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    • Oh totally agree. I feel more beautiful after having my daughter than ever before. I'm not single and I'm still with her dad but if we ever broke up I'm a package deal now lol

    • It's a extra love bonus.

  • I'd be cautious about it at first.. I wouldn't want him to get too attatched to me and introduce me to his kid if i wasn't really feeling it, and I wouldn't want to get to attatched to him too fast because obviously his kid needs to come first and since thats not something im used to it would take some time for me to adjust. But i definitely wouldn't turn a guy down just because he had a kid!

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  • I'd rather not, but I can't say definitely no. It depends how old the child is.

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  • People say ' never say never'... but I'm not a fan of that - dating people with kids. It just feels weirdly wrong.

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  • as much as id like the guy, i couldn't do that. I'm waiting for a virgin myself.

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  • Sure, why not. I like kids

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  • I hope that someone wouldn't rule me out just because of my kids but it sounds like realistically most would! 😢😯

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    • This site is very biased. Although I'm with my child's father I still attract men while I was pregnant and after. You will be fine :)

    • I'm thinking the same thing, it's sad how many people on here would judge someone just because they have kids.

  • I don't even want my own kids
    So I don't wanna date someone with kids

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  • I'm in love with a guy who's going to be a father (they're not together). She has another boyfriend and he doesn't want to involve me in all that. But I'd do anything to be with him and I guess when he's going to be a father that won't change, unless they get together again.

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  • I thought you once said you had a child?

    I'm those types people to think, parents mix with parents. Singles mix with singles. No mix and match.

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    • Yes I do have a child and I prefer to date anyone who doesn't have a child. Dealing with the other parent is hard enough. If they didn't want to date me I can understand

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    • "But the thing is you are willing to let your partner cope with something you, yourself, won't. That's the problem."

      Well you missed my point. So let's agree to disagree.

    • I see your point but I agree. Let's just agree to disagree

  • By the looks of the opinions on here, I'm never going to have a boyfriend

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    • Girl please yes you will! This place is very biased. I still get men approaching me with my child. you will be fine :) there are plenty of people out there that don't mind. Best of luck

  • No. I wouldn't. I wouldn't want to deal with the "baby mama drama" or anything like that.

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  • I wouldn't. To much potential for drama. I also don't plan on being baby mama two, three, four or any other number.

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  • I'm not in a phase of my life where I can handle kids.

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  • Yes, I would. I love kids, so why not. :-)

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  • Yeah, why not :)

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  • I don't know , maybe?

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  • prefer not to

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  • Yes, I have no problem with it :)

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  • No I wouldn't, I want kids of my own.

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  • No I wouldn't because the child would hate me.

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