My girIfriend constantly puts her job before me. Is this right?

I'm constantly interrupted, and flexing to her schedule. I'm really sick of this. I've told her that I can't keep bending to her will and I'm frustrated. She responded by saying there's nothing I can do and I have to put up with it.

The crazy thing is she's a housekeeping manager. She's not a doctor or something! She manages toilets and floors getting cleaned. All night she gets calls about the most random things. Like 10 and 11 at night, and she's constantly on call on weekends. She's salaried makes like 38k a year which is nothing compared to the total hours... I'm seriously thinking of breaking up.

She's totally drank this companies kool aid and thinks she going to get promoted up to president. Is this too much, what you think?

Updates:
Also I'm constantly paying for stuff! I had a conversation with her that we're splitting things 50/50 from now on. And I find myself still paying for stuff! She's broke, she's been divorced and has serious school debt...

Isn't it usually the case when one person is constantly working that they pay. Like when a man is working like 60 hours a week and is distant with their spouse that they take care of family more financiall?
Should I keep going with this idea that all these hours will hopefully get her a promotion in the next 2 years ish

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Most Helpful Girl

  • On one hand I think she needs to draw a line in the sand about what she's willing to do. If she's working with hotel big enough to have multiple floor manager, there should be some sort of night staff. Right now it sounds like she's being taken advantage of.

    You should be talking to her about how her work is affecting HER instead of how it's affecting YOU. Offer to help figure out how much she's actually making an hour and look for a better job. But this all about you, you, you has to stop. Just because her work isn't "important" doesn't mean she still doesn't need the job. You know that it's difficult to find full time work in this economy.

    Try approaching this from an angle that helps both of you instead of just you.

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What Girls Said 2

  • You sound really selfish here... she is working hard and, yeah, right now her salary isn't reflecting the hours she puts in, but she is working toward a promotion that will pay off in the long term. She's trying to stay afloat working for under $40,000 a year while paying off student loans and you intentionally make life even harder for her by forcing her to go 50/50 with you on everything? As someone who is also trying to pay off students loans right now, on a much higher salary than your GF, f*** you dude! She can't afford to go 50/50 on everything - THAT is why you end up paying for more things!! If you're finding that it is getting expensive for you, then you two should talk about reigning in your expenses a little more so that life is a little more affordable given your respective incomes.

    As for the couch - did you tell her before she moved it in that you didn't want that couch? If not, then simply tell her that you don't want the couch and that you guys don't need it.

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    • This is exactly what I'm talking about right here. We're dating, we're not married. Where does this expectation come from that I'm suppose to pick up your slack. We've been dating for 6 months and now I'm responsible for your financial situation that's been years in the making.

      Then also I'm suppose to live at your work schedule. Can you see how this is selfish and snotty? And she's crazy messy, oh by the way side note yes I told her the couch needs to cleaned. Oh and guess who helped her move in, me and all my friends. She went out of town while we moved all the heavy stuff.

      Bottom line is things are grossly uneven and I can't keep doing this. I just can't keep giving and giving... I'm not a charity...

    • I assumed you were much further in than 6 months, since she moved in with you. Normally, moving in together is the first step in building a life together - ie. eventually getting married.

      No, you shouldn't be expected to take care of her financial situation, but if your shared expenses (rent/mortgage, bills) are more than she is able to meet on a 50/50 basis, either you're going to need to be willing to downgrade your lifestyle, or you're going to accept paying more. When it comes to things like going out, shopping, etc then if you don't want to spend more money, simply tell her you guys need to not go out so much, and don't offer to buy her shit... pretty simple.

      Have you spoken to her about the fact that she is messy? Part of living together is learning to make this kind of thing work.

      Honestly, it sounds to me like you resent her already - why did you even have her move in?

  • So wait she expects you to change your timetable to suit her needs or does she come home late and that annoys you?

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    • She cancels things we have planned to come home late from work. Then I'm the bad guy when I say wow they are working you like a dog!

What Guys Said 7

  • I would not like living in that arrangement. I totally understand about the money. Not worth the time and aggravation. It is her life, and her choice. If this is the career she wants, then I say BU! You'll never be happy.

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  • I would end it too man. that's 1 big compatibility issue I wouldn't deal with.

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  • Dawg isn't one of her jobs givin' you a blowJOB?

    BHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHA

    But yeah, that's fucked up. Start going down on her constantly until she gets addicted and always wants to rush home.

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    • This is hilarious, like seriously lol!

    • Or you could just talk to her about it and be all sensitive and show your real feelings. Either will work.

      But going down on her hardcore (two orgasms, at least) on a consistent basis will hopefully get that dopamine reward pathway linked to YOU instead of a JOB!

  • basically her company is manipulating her!!! the best u can do is 2 find her a better job

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  • If you don't like it leave but I don't hear you saying she is a bad person. She has debt and is working very hard for her prized position in sight and mind. If you want to bail do it and stop holding her back or placing hooks on her like pay 50/50. Help or leave. Comparing her pay and hours to that of a man is not fair to her and does not help. If you cannot help lift her up. then leave.

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  • I'm with you on this one I understand what your living. But if she can't find time for you you should let her go. But are you dependent of her. Have a talk with her and make a choice.

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  • you have to decide if you really like her or not. if you do then just deal with her and her problems she won't always have time for you but if you are seriously dating then you should be able to understand that.

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    • Only thing she has going for her right now is that I like he.

    • Then stick it out or leave don't complain about it you have a loyal woman that you like. No matter who you date you're going to have to help with finances unless they are rich. She's trying to better herself and all you can do is be ungrateful about how she doesn't spend enough time with you

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