So this girl I had a date with 2 weeks ago now off okcupid just told me she's bogged down and doesn't wanna pursue dating. What do I say back?
Now she has been busy with work and finals as of late but the frustrating thing is we hit it off really well, had a lot in common and we've talked about meeting up again but now I get this message and I don't know what caused her to pull a 180 all of a sudden.
The thing is I've been having this issue going on for the past few years and I don't know what my issue is. Without blaming women entirely or myself, it's like I'll have 1-4 dates with these women I've met off sites and then I'll never hear from them again without an explanation. I feel that if I ask them about why they're not texting me, responding, etc then I'll come off as needy and insecure. But at the same time if I don't ask then I'll make the same mistake again, whatever it is. Most of these women I've met have just resulted in a hookup or fling at most and it gets old after awhile. Hookups and flings are only fun while they last. It's also not my goal to get with as many women as possible, it just ends up that way.
While I'm not desperate for a relationship, meaning I won't just date anybody, it is what I want eventually and it seems like with all the women I've met over the years from the sites, it ends before it really starts.
It kinda scares me because it makes me feel like I'm undateable and the older I get without having been in a relationship, the more of a turnoff it is. I feel like it has the same stigma if telling a girl I'm a virgin even though I'm not a virgin.
I try to keep my options open and multi date and it still ends up that way where they flake before it really starts.
I'm starting to think dating sites are jokes but I use them because i have a hard time meeting women elsewhere. And when I tell people about this, they're like oh there's other girls.
Most Helpful Guy
The girl who says she's bogged down and so busy she'll be inside her apartment for years until she sees the light of day all the while continuing her profile on OkCupid is nicely telling you she's not interested.
It's a numbers game, my friend. You'll probably go through several women before you end up in a relationship with one, and that's okay. The first thing you have to do is don't take anything personal. It doesn't matter why a girl doesn't like you or likes someone else or says they're too busy. Okay then, they're out and you're onto the next.
I would also not ask someone why they don't text, because they'll typically lie if they respond at all. Sure it hurts to be rejected, but with online dating, you're among many other suitors, and she's juggling men just as you are other women vying for your attention. Also, asking why comes off as needy, so I'd urge you, after you follow up after a date to wait and hear from her or simply let it go and move on.
Dating sites are not jokes, but they can become irritating and frustrating. But, you can also meet some really nice people on there, and if you "give up" altogether, you're depriving yourself of possibly meeting someone special.
You said you're not needy for a girlfriend, so don't be. Be patient and take it or leave it with these girls. You'll know when the two of you connect, so just enjoy the ride.0
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