Met a guy on here, falling in love?

I asked a question on here once and developed a close relationship with him after he messaged me to give me advice. From the beginning I told him i didn't want to date online because I don't really trust the internet. He didn't either because his last online relationship didn't go well. But we have gotten really close after talking everyday for about seven months, I told him I was developing feelings for him. He said he also had feelings for me.
Well last night the conversation went a little further than usual and I really enjoyed it. I really want to take this to the next level but I don't know if I would be wasting my time. I think I am in love with this man.
I can't really meet him now because he lives in Canada and I live in the US. I go to college so I don't have the money to travel, and he doesn't have a job so he can't come here. Would it be dumb to wait to meet him?

I should also add that we only talk on Facebook. Since he doesn't work and lives at home with his mom he doesn't have much money to buy a phone or webcam. I'm being really patmant with him because he doesn't have a job so I understand that things are expensive. I could see myself marrying this man. Should i juat guve up now or should I try to continue this and see where it goes.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • There's a tendency in this kind of relationship to fill the gaps in your interaction with fantasy. You *have* to keep that in check. You don't know *anything* for sure until you've spent time together in person.

    More to the point, Facebook only? Text only? You have no way of really knowing who you're dealing with. I'm in an online relationship as well, but we Skype at every opportunity - a lot of meaning is lost in human communication without things like body language and tone of voice. If I were you, I'd do what I could to independently verify his identity, his story. I have done so in my relationship, it wasn't particularly hard. First step is a reverse image search, make sure his picture (s) weren't lifted off the web. There's a lot more of that out there than you'd think.

    Last step before meeting him is to make sure the people around you know exactly what's going on. Preferably, don't go alone.

    This is no joke:
    www.dailymail.co.uk/.../...ked-TWO-HOURS-help.html

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    • I got really lucky in that I was able to confirm she was who she said she was through a handful of google searches and the automatic translation of one or two web pages (she lives overseas). You might consider a service like Wymoo.

      I don't want to pass judgment, but I'd look at the "unemployed and living at home with his mother talking to girls on the Internet" thing a bit more critically. Not to put too fine a point on it, but talk is cheap.

    • Damn that story is FUCK up

    • This is good advice!

What Guys Said 9

  • Talking about marriage to a guy that doesn't have a job and can't afford a phone or a webcam may be a bit hasty...

    NRE can develop for online relationships just as easily as it can for 'in person' relationships, and that is clearly what you are feeling here. Those are classic NRE 'symptoms'. Which means what you are feeling is undoubtedly very intense. You need to understand that what you are feeling is being fuelled by chemicals being released into the brain, and they are making things seem more 'perfect' than they actually are. That's sort of the point of NRE.

    Don't rush this, it's impractical. Keep talking to him if you want, but don't let it stop you from trying to find someone that you can actually physically be with. LDR are difficult at the best of times, and with someone who can't even afford a used webcam... I mean... come on. You can get a NEW webcam for $25...

    Don't just narrow your search to this one guy. That's a bad proposition. You are not falling in love, you are feeling NRE. And NRE has a bad habit of causing people to make rash decisions. Don't make one here. You are in college, the BEST place to meet people. You are young and in school, there will never be a better time to try and branch out, try new things, join some clubs, meet some people, find a guy. Don't put all your eggs in one basket like this. You'll regret it later.

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  • I have been through this with a girl a long time ago and It worked out well. Go for it Its not like you have some grade A backup your going to marry soon

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  • well i wish you guys good luck. I really would start skyping with him though. You can't simply go off of texting. As someone else said, body language and expression is a big part of communication, and you haven't experienced any of that with him... plus you can't say with 100% certainty that the guy is who he says he is.

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  • Finally GAG makes people happy:-D
    Lol just kidding anyway
    Marrying!!
    Oh girl take it easy
    I suggest you being as friends ONLY
    Until you meet in real life you can talk about a relationship and a marriage

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  • Canada? @Illusive_Man who's this lady! ?

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  • Nah babe, don't give up on me!!! Not after all we've been through. Wait for me. I'm totally worth it!!

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  • Maybe he'll see this topic and know it's you and give you advice...

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    • He hasn't been on here in a few months

  • you're in over your head.
    calm down, look at it from a neutral perspective.
    how can you think about marrying someone you've never even met or seen?
    He may not feel the same as you do.
    Let it go.
    Think it through

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  • He might be a catfish

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What Girls Said 11

  • Doesn't have a job and lives with his mom? Are you nuts? Run. Run the other way quick. 7 months and you haven't met yet or talked on the phone or even skyped? He's either cat fishing you or he is married.

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    • Lol the jobless men that live at home with mom are down voting me

  • This is a tough situation. If u have the chance u should go to him, don't let anything get in the way of love. However, u never met rhe guy in person, for all u know, he could be a murderer. Is say go to him, but with extreme caution. If u have a good friend who supports your relationship, you could ask if you both could go to Canada and split the cost. It could be a fun vacation for you and your friend to bond AND meet the love of your life.

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  • Ooohhh... an international affair. Sounds exciting! I would give it a chance. Canadians are awesome! You should get a bunch of friends together for a road trip.

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  • Wait, do you even know if he's real?

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    • I believe so. The photos on his Facebook are the same person over the years and his friends/family have also tagged him in photos. Also his stories generally don't change.

    • Well, that's good. Have you ever even spoken on the phone?

  • Girl, marriage, are you for real? Calm down.

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  • Ohhh Who is him? Tell me everything!!!

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  • That funny because I'm in a very similar situation.. Can I message you?

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  • I have a feeling I know who asker is and the guy too

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  • Uhhhh I'm not sure if this is good or bad

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  • Just continue and see where it goes, but no marriage just yet please.

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  • What kind of douche doesn't have a phone?

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