What to do when you're the only one putting in effort in a relationship?

I feel like I'm the only one in my relationship that's putting in effort anymore.

Now more often than ever I'm the one who texts or contacts him first. I go out of my way to make time for him during my day, and he doesn't. I'm the one who takes an hour of transit to visit him, when he has a car. I go to his family gatherings, he bails on invites to mine because he's too busy. But even when I'm busy I make the time to see him. I ask how his day was, but he never asks me back anymore. We've been together 5 months.

Am I wrong for feeling hurt? I make time for people I care about, I just feel like he's not showing that he cares about me, and to be the only one putting in effort makes things difficult.

What should I do?


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What Guys Said 1

  • My guess is he was enjoying the NRE (new relationship energy, that period where everything is exciting and awesome when you first start dating), and now that it's gone he's lost interest.

    It's unfortunate, but that's likely not something that's going to change.

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    • I see, I had a feeling…any way I can tell for sure?

    • I'm not sure. You might want to just talk to him. Ask him what's going on and be blunt about it. Here's the thing, if he bails on you because you wanted to talk to him, he's not somebody you want to be with to begin with.

What Girls Said 1

  • I used to have this problem, I came to the conclusion that I can't control anything anyone else does, I can only control my own.

    The most you can really do is talk to him about it and tell him how you feel. After that the balls in his court.

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