How do I handle this?

See I have been seeing this guy since January... About 3 1/2 months. At first everything's was great. I would always go to his house and just cuddle, hang out and everything. We would text every day. Like he would always want to see me.

There was always something wrong with him since he never wanted me to follow him on any social media (Instagram or fb) he said he barely used them and he didn't like the drama that came with that.

Anyway in the beggining of March he told me this girl was going to have his baby. This girl is not here, she is in another country ( where he is from) he went to visit in November and now she's expecting a baby. He said it was an old girlfriend from back in the day. At that moment I asked him what he wanted to do and he said he didn't know. (We weren't even official so I couldn't really get mad... since it also happened before me)

I started doing some stalking and found this girl. She says they are married and have been together for 9 years. On fb it says they are married. He had told me he was divorced!! I confront him and he says they aren't married. I asked him if they were together and he said no. She only thinks that and since she is having his baby he can't really says anything at this moment.

I let that go but what we have isn't the same. I don't go to his house anymore... since he doesn't invite me. I feel like if I don't bring up going out he doesn't make an effort to see me.

He introduced me as his girlfriend like 2 weeks ago... but that was a first. I still spend some weekends with him.

I asked him what it is that he wanted with me and he said he wanted everything... But he was in a position where he couldn't promise me anything since he doesn't know what is going to happen when the baby is born. It's his first kid. I told him I didn't want to just be some girl he slept with or someone he is just killing time with. He told me I wasn't. now we barely see each other and just have small text convos.


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What Guys Said 1

  • move on! all you are is a free piece while baby-momma is out of commission!

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What Girls Said 1

  • He was lying about his situation, unfortunately. Even if (in his head) they're not together, he's perfectly OK letting this other girl believe they are. He also knew you'd find out through social media. If it was really over, he'd have no problem with you seeing their history. These kind of stories make me obsess over social media unfortunately :/ I'd love it if a guy really wasn't active on one, but most of the time, they're just hiding something when they say that.

    His reluctance to say anything to her about them not being together is kind of all you need to know. His relationship with her is the serious one, the one he will stay attached to, especially now that a kid is on the way. It's too much drama to throw it all away and separate the family, and he probably is attached to her in a lot of ways. That doesn't mean he didn't develop feelings for you and wish he didn't have all of those ties, but that's the way it is.

    Sorry you got sucked into the mess. I was in a similar situation not too long ago. Also, you can find marriage records online if you need a little extra proof.

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    • Can u find it even if they weren't married in the United States?

    • Ahh maybe not. I'm not sure about that. But honestly, if she has it posted that they're married, the baby is on the way, and he's not willing to make it public that you're together to her, just drop him. At that point it doesn't matter, he's already been lying/hiding things. It's too much drama to get invested in. You can do better.

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