How would you react if the person you were dating hid the fact that they had a child?

Just curious about people's opinions on this. Say you met someone who was beautiful/handsome and amazing and you really got attached and fell in love with them. But then after you fell in love with them they revealed to you that they have a child. They didn't tell you because although they love their child, the past relationship was a mistake and they didn't want you to judge them about it and not give them a chance. Say the other parent is completely out of the picture. Upon finding out, would you stay with the person or would you leave them? Would you care or not? Be honest.


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Most Helpful Guy

What Guys Said 9

  • "Had" , why "had"?
    What happened to the child?
    Did she eat him/her or something?

    Any serious now.
    Yes I would care , I think that's very dishonest if someone were not to put it on the table first. Makes me wonder what else is she hiding from me.

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  • I'd be dumbfounded, and devastated. However, I'll try to understand and give her the chance to explain why exactly she hid all these things from me in the first place. Just because someone has a child doesn't mean I wouldn't date them, but I would want to know first so that I know exactly what I'm getting myself into. You're not only dating the parent, but you're also looking for the kid's approval in the future.

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  • I'd be irritated. No further dating. there's a reason they hid it and robably more where that came from

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  • The root of not saying means a trick is being played.

    Now there are 2 problems, first if he is not into a person with a child that is one thing. Second if a child is not the problem but the fact that a trick was played is a bad way to start out.

    In law it is called estopple. I am a man who has had women tell me up front and it was not a problem. A woman who would wait and hook me first would be a turn off.

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  • You don't hide something like that. Ever. If I found that out, it would mean that what we had built between us was built on false pretenses. She didn't trust me to be part of her child's life - long story short, she doesn't trust me, and the fact that she'd hide something this big means I couldn't trust her.

    Without trust, there is no relationship.

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    • Not opposed to kids, hope to eventually have two myself. Hiding it is the problem here.

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    • There are secrets and there are SECRETS. This is the latter. Hiding something is fine. Hiding something this big really isn't.

      What reason would there be to lie about having kids?

    • Ah, my mistake - you didn't specify lying about it. Still, exactly how long would this stay under wraps? More than two dates go by without the barest mention of it and, yeah, that to me indicates a lack of trust.

  • Yes, I would care. I know some parents are protective of their children so I'm not asking to meet the kid but I should at least know of its existence.
    I feel like I'd lose a lot of trust for her.

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  • Yes I'd care and I'd break up. Not because of the kid but because they hid them. If a guy would judge the girl because of the kid then she shouldn't have been with him anyways. Hiding it to try and hook him in is not the answer.

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  • I would not like it and I just want to date not be the father. That for the Orignal father to take care of. I love kids but I can't support every child the mother I date

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    • I understand your view.
      But it's only one child, not 4 or 5.

    • If vwe got married that stil does not give the original father a free pass to stop paying child support

What Girls Said 10

  • ... I'd be really freaking pissed. I don't like that kind of crap being hidden from me.
    I'd probably feel really lied to and probably couldn't trust them anymore.

    Now maybe if I actually knew about the child in the beginning, it would be a different story.

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  • I would not leave directly. But I would lose my trust a bit. Why they did not tell me at the begining? It is part of their life and it is a reality. I do not like people hide such things.
    Personally I do not prefer to date men with kids. But yeah if it happens this way, I would try and see where it goes.

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  • i think i would be devastated by this

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  • That's tough. It's a big deception and I'd feel hurt that they didn't think they could share that with me. Being a parent is a huge part of someone's life and it would be painful that it was kept from me.

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  • Than he must've hid the assumption that we are dating as well. What other big things has he omitted or blatantly lied to me about?

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  • I don't care, I'd dump them and always ask the children question in future relationships, I don't want to enter any relationship where on e person has a child, I just can't do it.

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  • I'd want to know why he had thought it necessary to conceal a fundamental part of his life.

    Not cool.

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  • I would stay and help raise the child as if it were my own.

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  • Who hides their kids? Lowlifes. I'd leave em

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  • having child is not a problem. he is the one I choose

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