Should the guy pay the meal on a date?

Am taking a girl on a date maybe sometime next week and I was just wondering is it the social norm still nowadays to pay for the women's meal also. I do kind of like her and am willing to invest money in to her if only she then get what's she wants out of me and chooses not to see me again and that would make me feel like shit if another women did that again to me, I mean am always willing to split the bill?

Cheers everyone !

  • She pay
    2% (1)3% (2)3% (3)Vote
  • Split the bill
    52% (26)49% (30)50% (56)Vote
  • I pay
    46% (23)48% (29)47% (52)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Despite all the modern notions in today's dating world, it is still considered polite for the guy to pay for the first dinner at least.

    She SHOULD offer to pay half, but no guarantee she will. If she does, you can offer her to leave the tip.

    My guy and I jokingly have "turns" now, I pay one night, he the next or one gets dinner, the other drinks and movie or whatever. It works out perfectly for us but we established this on the first date.

    So yes, it is still "expected" for the guy to pick up the tab for at least the first date. Most girls will offer to chip in, though. As for "wasting your money" so to speak, that is sadly a risk you have to take to play the game. :)

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    • What happen to equality for women's rights?

    • I know, right? Seems "equality" works best if it is to the woman's advantage in some cases! I'm with you, and I happily pay my share on dates :)

    • God, equality has nothing to do with it. It's a matter of preference for some people. Please use common sense.

What Girls Said 39

  • It's your First date with a possible mate here, dear, so it would indeed be proper To-----Invest money in her.
    However, if you are unsure of just how things will turn out that night, play it safe by taking her somewhere Nice but Inexpensive and see if it might pay well off in the end by you both discovering chemistry in one another.
    Splitting the bill is fine perhaps for a Second round. But the First time shows just what kind of guy she is with who is generous and giving and likes to show her he has a bit of class as well.
    Good luck. xx

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  • That is something the two of you need to discuss before going on the date. Yes, most women expect the guy to pay if you are going on a date. If you were just going to meet up for the first time, I would suggest going for coffee. Personally, I don't assume that a guy will pay for me.

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  • I think the asker should pay.

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    • Have you ever asked a guy out on a date? be honest

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    • @akadatank44 I must not have mentioned my stubborn attitude :O!

    • Well your the one who asked me to dinner the other day so its all good :p You are kind hearted anyways you little liar ;)

  • The Asker should pay. Whoever asked the person on the date should be willing to pay the bill. That's how I feel.

    This means if women ask a man on a date, they should pay for it.

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    • What is the likely hood that a woman would ask?

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    • There is something wrong with it when your preferences are sexist.

    • No it's not. Please learn the meaning of the word "sexist". Preferring a wo/man to pay on the date is just like preferring a woman with big breasts/a man with a cut penis. That's what some people prefer--and it doesn't mean that people who have those preferences will refuse to be with the person.

  • I think it's nice, maybe even 'proper' for a guy to pay for the first few dates. It shows he is actually interested in her and just wants to do something nice. If things progress and a relationship develops, I think it's fine to split or even take turns.

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    • I know but am just paranoid she's gonna do me for my wallet and free food... I mean after 3 dates she then decides that she don't want to see me anymore fuck that

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    • Naa fuck that game i rather split the bill or don't date because I'm not that wealthy to be throwing money around on women to get nothing out of it and plus I don't trust many women from my experiences and friends also. Especially in night clubs and bars buying drinks for them all night like a tool

    • That's your problem... don't meet girls in bars and clubs. That's the worst place to find people who are serious about dating.

  • Usually the one who invites needs to pay, that's normal. But that counts on the first date, and maybe on the second. Practically, this is a game played in many manners and you can interpret the actions in every situation. On the first date, for me it was always like that: the bill comes, he opens his wallet, I offer too, he doesn't let me, I insist, he says is on him and next time we'll split.

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    • So then it's the man that pays ain't it... after all since when does a women ask a man out for a date

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    • And don't judge me before knowing me, I don't think I made a prejudice when it comes to you. I don't know you.

    • @LilyOfTheValley22 eh? I told you am not frustrated, why do you keep judging me on that when you don't know me either. I couldn't care less that much what women do in general within the dating game, am just saying some home truths. I've always been happy being single and the occasional one night stand that has that has never lead anywhere serious because we had nowt in common but sex and I eventually lost attraction for those women. Am not saying all women but the majority of a high percentage want just too much from a man like money and looks while a good man will settle for most women my point inclined am trying to say they are very superficial from what I've experienced and stories I've been told by other people that's all. Am wanting to try and take a girl out on a date to give it a shot but am not hoping for anything to change because like I said I know what intentions you women have on lads and it doesn't have to be dating, it can be gifts lads get women for their approval

  • I've never paid for any date, but maybe because I live in a country where the society thinks that the men should pay. I know it seems unequal and old fashioned but that's how we were raised here. I don't mind paying but it seems like all the guys I have been dating would never let me to pay.

    Here, if you go to a restaurant with your SO, or female friends, people will give you a dirty/angry stare if they saw a girl standing in front of the cashier taking out her money to pay for the meals. I'm not joking. Again, I won't mind paying for a date, I'm just a little surprise to see the culture difference that we have here.

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  • Guys should pay for first few dates. Girls should pay once every couple.
    But if you ask and pick somewhere specific then it's on you.

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  • I think because YOU are asking her out, as the ¬®host¬® of the date, it would be more expected that you pay for it yourself. However, after this date, maybe leave other dates open to splitting the bill/taking turns.

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    • By agreeing to go on a date, you also agree to be responsible for the costs that you incurred.

      Even in an exceptional case, like if the restaurant is very costly, all it takes is a simple "this is too expensive", and then it's your date's call to either A) leave or B) pay for your meal.

  • If it's a first date, convention is still for the person who asked to pay the bill, unless the other person offers to split or pay it. So, if you asked her out, then you pay.

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    • Yeah but you seem to be forgetting that it's the man who does the approaching and talking while the women only says yes or no to the man. In other words women are never gonna ask men out on dates because of the stigma over that's always been over a generation unless the media pumps it out for women to take that role

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    • Yes exactly correct... women won't really host a date because they generally won't ask so they would never really be in the hook to pay. Some women ask but on average they don't

    • ... You sir have enlightened me today. The day is good and I'm gonna walk to work!

  • Simple things are so complicated now of days... I've asked myself the same when going on a date with a guy.. (Rather then assume he will pay) Most times I bring back up (cash & credit card) just in case...
    Honestly if you are not that type of guy then don't start attempting to be just to win her over... Hope that makes sense... like if you don't plan to foot the bill on the first date or when you guys go out or you would prefer she pay... Then don't start things off that way.. Honesty is key.. Maybe you should even talk to her about it (yep it'll be ackward but it eliminates unrealistic standards/expectations)

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  • I haven't been on a real date before but I wouldn't expect a guy to pay. I'd rather we split the bill.

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  • I think it depends entirely on how you were brought up. If a guy was brought up in a "traditional" environment... then males with do what is typically expected. Usually guys say they want to pay because they want to show that they are capable of taking care of said female. So, I guess it all depends...

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  • I am of the mind that whoever initially ASKS the other person out, should be ready to cover the cost. Afterward, if things continue, it can be a healthy split of responsibility; both of you could pay for one activity on the date (meal, movie, etc.), you could fully half the bill between each other, she could pay, you could pay... it doesn't have to be terribly complicated.

    As long as both individuals make a move to show courtesy and kindness in this way, I would not worry.

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  • Offer to pay, she SHOULD offer to pay her half. If she doesn't already offer to split it then I would be concerned she just wanted a meal

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    • Yeah my mate said something similar makes sence doesn't if she doesn't at least offer then it just shows you. Am just paranoid that's all because it's like bars and night club ain't it, you buy some women a drink or drinks all night then next thing you know... adios amigo!

    • Well bars are different. Buying a woman a drink at a bar is like throwing spaghetti against a wall to find out if it's done or not. Except buying a drink and s woman wanting to go home with you pretty much means she's drunk. Because most women won't give you sex for one little drink and so bad, can barely hear you chat in a club. If she does want to bag you after you ply her with drinks she's msybe not such a good catch, and you're not such a good catch if that's your tactics for getting a woman.
      It's much better to go out on dates, if she offers to pay her way, then you buy the whole meal because she is classy enough to pay for herself. But if she insists to pay for herself, she's either very independent or not really into you and doesn't want you spending money on her because she doesn't want to take advantage. If she doesn't offer than she is just taking advantage

  • Who invited who on the date? If you invited her you should pay. If she invited you she should pay.

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    • Like I said to the other girl... women don't ask men out for dates so the man ends up paying full stop

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    • He said he already had statistics so if he is going to say that I want to see them. I don't really care about statistics I just want him to actually say something factual.

  • If you're more worried about paying for the date without the certainty of a second date then you don't really care about her. What are you after sex? Do you want her to give it up to you after paying for her meal? If you really are interested in having a relationship with her then suck it up and act like a gentleman.

    By the way if you split the bill then it is no longer a date. You are just two people hanging out.

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  • dont expect chivalry anymore i think its personally better to split for most things in a relationship

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  • I guess I'm old fashioned because I think he should pay for the first date then anything after you can split it or she can even pick up the bill. That's how it's been in my previous relationships.

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  • just split dat bill

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  • They should split the bill. This is not the 1800s anymore

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  • I voted split the bill by default. A lot of guys will pay but it's by no means a necessity. Esp at you're age.

    For me if I'm going out with a guy under 25 I insist on separate checks.

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    • Tho if you wanna make an impression you should at least offer to pay. Up to you

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    • You're a young guy you shouldn't worry too much about this

    • Well how else am a gonna take a girl out then I can't exactly invite her back to my gaff can I unless she's sending those signals

  • Personally, I like when the guy offers to pay because it shows me that he thinks I'm someone worth investing in.

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  • When in doubt, split the bill.

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  • This is actually interesting... I've gone out few dates before and whenever I tried to pay, my dates gave me the uncomfortable look and they paid lol.
    I think either way is fine... but in my culture, if guy pay for the first date, it is a good sign that he likes you lol.. not sure about other culture :)
    I guess if he pay for the meal I would pay for the dessert and coffee :D

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  • If it's the first date, I would say for the guy to pay the bill, or whoever wants to pay it really. After that, maybe suggest splitting who pays for the date.

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    • Wow, a down vote for stating an opinion. I find it unfair for the person to paying for the date every single time.
      Then again I do work and don't mind paying for my own stuff

    • Totally agree :)

  • Do Not Go Dutch! Unless she's a feminist, at the beginning show her you're a gentleman by paying for the meal. If you end up being together then you can take turns or split.

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    • Lol I heard the Dutch were stingy, is it really true?

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    • Feminism is about equality. The idea of a man paying for the first date is rooted in the expectation that men should be chivalrous. This standards of chivalry is what is sexist because it was a boundary that was established by men in a time when women did not take care of themselves. That is no longer the case. Yet, men are still held to the expectations of chivalry, while women tear down barriers in gender equality. That makes you sounds hypocritically sexist, then again, you said that you were not a feminist.

      @Kisum

    • Interesting! Thanks for sharing, now I understand the feminists point of view regarding this matter ^^
      @damionrain100

  • at least for the first few dates guys should pay, once you guys are in a relationship, then its fine to split the bill or for her to pay a few

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  • i'd want to split it

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  • Who ever invited should pay

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What Guys Said 34

  • I don't care about the changing norms and gender roles. I was raised to be a gentleman and that included paying for the girl. It sets a good impression and makes me feel good. If she insisted on splitting, that's fine but if I'm going on a date, my intention is to pay for the both of us.

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    • Yeah till she gets what she has out of you then tells you she's not interested... how you left feeling then besides broke?

    • Well last I checked, I'm not a push over nor am I desperate for female interaction and I can always tell when a girl actually likes me. I don't play games and I'm forward about what I want so believe me... if we're on a date and I'm paying, she's been interested for a long time.

  • Let's put it this way... you should not be obliged to pay. I knew girls that told me they were more inclined to say yes to dates because they knew they would get a free meal and whatever else on the date. She should be sweet enough to at least offer to pay her part or half or even all of it.

    But as the guy if you don't pay, it will probably be something she will remember. So if you really like her, just pay.

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  • On first dates I'd like to pay and probably the second or third but if she wants to share the bill a few times I'd be comfortable with that after a few times but it's just a gentlmens thing to pay for his date. I'd like to show her my gratitude for giving me some of her time and spending it with me. I mean she could've just said no I have better things to do

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  • he should if it was the first date and he was the one to ask the girl out and pick the venue

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  • The guy should pay for the meal yes. Unless the girl asks him to go out then she can. If it were me I would still pay. Call me old fashioned

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  • You pay for the date, but keep date simple and not too expensive. Most first dates are usually waste of money.

    So save the money for the girl who deserves it.

    Remember
    With the right girl, you will have more fun together eating pop corns, than a 100$ dinner with the wrong girl.

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  • Doesn't that depends? But as a gentlemen, you should. Unless of course it's not a date of some sort, then split the bill.

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  • I don't have a problem with paying for a meal. What's the big deal?
    The only people who make a big deal out of it are those "I don't need no man to take care of me!" people.
    Well I'm not trying to take care of you im just paying for some pasta.
    Calm the hell down.

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  • if it is just kinda causal hanging out get to know each other split it.
    If its the first date date and you asked her you should expect to pay for her, but if she offers to split you can accept. if you continue seeing each other either split checks or take turns paying

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  • I always at least offer to pay. If she wants to split the bill or pay for me occasionally I'm fine with it but I don't mind paying for both of us

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  • Whoever invites is the one that pays.

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    • ... well am guessing the man pays then unfortunately lol

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    • I have heard rumors that some girls actually pay. But I don't know if I should listen to hearsay.

    • There probably is women like that I can believe it... but am not that desperate to settle down with donkey kong yet mate

  • The person that asked the other out and initiated the date. If a girl asked me out and then she expected me to pay she'd be dreaming if she thinks I'd go on another date with her.

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  • I hate to be old skool. But I'd pay and even insist on paying. It just feels so weird to have her pay. I'm been indoctrinated to always help a woman out and put them before you.

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    • Ohh alright well I got just one last thing to say... money don't grow on trees you know!

  • Whoever asked the person out should be the one to pay on the first date and in my opinion if they become bf/gf they should split the bill

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  • Be a goddamn gentleman on the first date.

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  • gender equality so a split

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  • No, the girl should. I want free food 24/7.

    All my favorite Native American tribes were matriarchal.

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  • 50/50 unless she don't have the doe but pick someplace nice. Investing money in her makes her sound like a prostitute. Just saying.

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  • Well even if she's rich It's always nicer to pay for someone else's bill.
    Is the meal even that expensive?

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  • On the first, yes. Follow ups?

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  • You should ideally split the bill but if we're being practical it's smart to be prepared to pay the whole thing without even asking about it. Yes it's unfair but it's honestly not worth the risk to protest.

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  • You pay unless this is a cougar situation.

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  • If he wants or if she wants as long as they both agree to it if not they can always split the bill.

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  • I've never been on a date but I would split it. I think it's the most fair way.

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  • We're not in the 40s anymore. Also note that some women actually just go on first dates with guys for a free meal.

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  • Split the bill.

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  • To me , its not a necessity.
    But i have heard that women like it when the guy pays for the meal :/

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    • ... well of course wouldn't you like it if someone paid for your meal lol

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    • Why would it be a bad decision? You like the girl and she likes you back... but she offers to pay for the meal instead and then asks to see you again. Yeah I know what your thinking role reversal don't feel right does it... well if women want to be equal things got to change around here

    • I know but what i mean by bad decision is that maybe i need the money for something important that she doesn't know about.

  • I generally feel the guy should pay unless he's expecting something in return because he paid.

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  • Don't pay. Run away. Bonnie and Clyde.

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  • If you have the money then pay

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