I've been single by choice for more than three years, read recovery period to get over my ex. Recently I've decided to make an attempt to re-enter the dating scene but, from a safe distance (for friends first) and hence, online dating.
My observation/question/concern is this: I've noticed that at least 50-60% of the women on both sites that I belong to 'seem' to make deliberate attempts to either hide, mislead, or falsify their physical descriptions. Although I realize that no site is going to be able to provide a comprehensive/fully exhaustive list of every single persons exact build, many women still seem to fail to accurately describe or even assimilate with the 'correct or relative' descriptors and post misleading photos by taking strangely angled selfies from above, hidden behind a large group of their peers, or tightly cropped close ups).
Does anyone have any insight as to why so many people do this? Do they genuinely think they will never be discovered? Or could it be they genuinely do not realize that there is a difference between fit/average, curvy/overweight, a few extra pounds/curvy, etc
Most Helpful Guy
I'm only familiar with eHarmony. I used that service in 2005-2006. I have experienced both sides of your issue here. I saw concealment and I saw disclosure.
The most glaring example of concealment was one woman who used a picture form Glamour Shots to use as her only profile photo. That first date did not go well and was not repeated.
I did find that I had much more disclosure than concealment. One woman offered to email me full frontal and full profile pictures (fully clothed) on a what you see is what you get policy. Most women had profile pictures that were nice but not heavily doctored.
I did find a woman to marry on that site. We will have been married for 9 years this June. One thing that immediately impressed me in her profile was her honesty. She came right out and said she was a BBW. Now it happens that I am a bit of a chubby chaser so her disclosed size was a good thing. Talking to her later, she had a rather sensible attitude about the whole thing. She said, "It's not like you were never going to find out."
The thing is, just about every woman has someone that wants them for who they are.
Let's say that my future wife not said she was a BWW, she may have had other dates and she may have missed being matched with me. Her honesty led to success for both of us.
Part of the problem is that women of all sizes and body types want to be desired for more than just their bodies. They let that desire cloud their thinking. It simply does not compute for (many of) them that accurate self description is actually a moral test. Truth wins, manipulation fails.3