Is it OK for my boyfriend to call his friends sexy even though he's dating me?

[sk8ter_chick5666]

Hi, my name is crystal. I'm 20 years old and I live in houston tx. my boyfriend and I have been dating for about 10 months. my boyfriend calls his friends sexy and babe and it bothers me and I know he's dating me and not them, I shouldn't feel like this but I do and it just bothers me. I brought it to his attention and argued and discussed about it. he says he's been calling his friends that for years even as we were friends before we even got together. I may be insecure and a little jealous. I told him it bothers me. by him calling his friends that, it makes me feel like I'm not good enough and he says that to them more than me and it doesn't make me feel good about myself and it doesn't make me feel sexy myself. if he called me sexy more often I would feel confident about myself. I don't feel sexy or cute or whatever to him. that's why I don't believe that I am sexy when he calls me that. I love him soooo much but I don't wanna lose him.

Updates

+1 y

hey what's up? well, of what all happened I couldn't trust him at all anymore in the relationship because he started to do some other things that I didn't like. I met someone else and he really makes me happy. I love him. We're together.

[Anonymous]

Um you put your full name, age and location on a public website. I'm not a psycho but I'm pretty sure I just found your MySpace page which is currently public and I can see all your pictures. Are you by any chance a huge fan of vampires? Luckily I'm not a psycho and I'm about 500 miles away from you but you don't know who is reading these. Sorry I just had to say that!

Anyways to answer your question your boyfriend is being disrespectful. He should be considerate and respect your wishes. I wouldn't want my man calling other females sexy and babe too. WTF at the very least that's saying he finds them sexually attractive and he wouldn't mind sleeping with them. Whether he is or not is another story, he should just have a bit more discretion than that. The fact that you brought it to his attention shows that it's a big deal to you and he should have the respect to stop. I don't know if I would want to date a guy that was a huge flirt and did not care about my feelings. Maybe you should switch it up by being more confident and doing the exact same thing to other guys and see how your man likes it. I bet he wouldn't be too happy with that!

[meplusabeemer]

You did the right thing by sharing your feelings on the subject. Now this is his opportunity to respect you and your feelings. He might be a flirt by nature, but there are many other 'endearing' names he can use without hurting you.

If he continues to call his friends those names then you have some things to think about. Are you okay being with someone who is unable to respect you and your feelings? Has he apologized? If he loves you as much as you love him then he should do these things automatically, IMO.

The decision is yours.

[jasper]

Yeah, my boyfriend used to do the same thing with his best friend and it really got on my nerves, especially when people started saying, "Oh, you're his girlfriend? I thought he and ___ were gay together."

He had always kinda treated me and his best friend the same way and his friend was always like attached at his side like he couldn't go anywhere without him.

Luckily, it's not that way any more. He treats me like he treats no one else and the other guy turned into a huge pothead.

[Cartiphilus]

it's too late now but you should never write you're real name and location on a public forum. Psychos have hunted down and killed girls for making that mistake.

[That-Guy]

I agree, She's 20! she should know this by now!

[Anonymous]

I think it isn't okay to be calling his friends sexy. If their just friends,he shouldnt need to call them that. Plus, your dating him. All the things he says like that,should be to you.