Should I message him and be the bigger person or shall I leave him be?

been seeing a guy for just under two months, everything was perfect and potentially we were looking like we could of been in a official relationship. until yesterday when he became off with me and not as attentive. He acted a bit mean and would tease me slightly, he also said he felt a bit depressed that day because of money worries etc which was nothing to do with me but said he just didn't feel himself, and when I asked him to message me once he got back home after he didn't , so I messaged him just to see if he got back safely. He messaged back but was still off and said have a good night babe as he knew I was going out (even though he was slightly funny about it because he thought I would go off with another guy which I wouldn't do). I messaged back thanks and left it. Today I haven't Heard from him and I know how stubborn he is so he won't want to until I do first. I've seen he's been on whatsapp and he has looked at my snapchat story. I haven't messaged him because I know that he was being off with me the day before and didn't even bother to text me back to let me know he got home okay. Shall I be the bigger person and message him saying what's up and shall we stop seeing each other or shall we talk about this? Or shall I leave it and let him message me?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Honestly girl, you are being extremely self-absorbed and you should really stop trying to make everything about you.

    Firstly, you guys aren't even official, correct? If he has not even officially decided that he wants to exclusively commit a significant amount of himself to you, then don't expect girlfriend treatment. Many men are very selective about which girl they will treat like a girlfriend because it requires a lot of mental, emotional, and physical upkeep. So you can't get all offended because you're not being treated with the utmost priority, courtesy, and consideration of a girlfriend if you are not a girlfriend. Keep it up and you will become an additional layer of stress that he has to deal with, essentially turning him off of whatever it is you guys are beginning to build. I can see how you may be coming off as nagging when you're not even his girl yet.

    You kinda seem to be smothering him. Give him some space and let him process his other problems without you putting another issue on his plate.

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What Guys Said 1

  • Any time when you need to say the phrase "be the bigger person" in order to make up, neither one of you is being the bigger person. The bigger person is the one who solves problems without announcing that they're solving the problem.

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What Girls Said 1

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