Guys, is this normal for a first date?

Instead of dinner, movie, having a picnic he has the nerve to say that I'm suppose to have this first date at his apartment. I immediately said no cause I felt it was unsafe, he got pissed off.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Well then, it sounds like he's not the guy for you or for any woman with a sense of self respect and a brain.

    If you've known one another for a long time and have been comfortable out in public, then I could see a scenario like that probably being okay. But, if you do not know this guy very well and you're uncomfortable with going to a relative stranger's apartment, then you have every right to say no and he has every right to go eat shit and pout to someone else.

    The fact he got angry is a red flag in itself, so you should be happy you stood your ground and said no.

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    • Yea I told him that it didn't make me feel comfortable and instead of saying that he understood he basically got mad and told me he was offended I would think he was trying to do anything to me.. well it's not like he asked me out in public. And he is relatively a stranger I haven't been on a date with him yet

    • I'm happy you made the right call. I love it when I see women standing up for themselves and knowing it's okay to walk away when it doesn't feel right.

What Guys Said 4

  • Good for you! That is weird. Red flags there! No not normal at all!

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    • Defninitely saw red flags when he told me this!

  • I think you should have said, "I don't think we know each other enough to do that. How about somewhere more public?" It is less offensive, but it states your wish not to be in an unsafe place, not saying that it is one, which could be the reason why he got offended. I would probably be offended until I realized that what I said wasn't correct.

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    • I did say that I felt it wasn't appropriate to be asking me to go to his place. I told him it's not like you asked me to go on a dinner or movie date. He got mad

  • You are sensible and he's seriously scary. Stay far away.

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    • Yea I don't want to put myself in that situation

  • It does seem a bit odd. You should dump him if you feel a bit weirded out.

    Simples...

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    • Yea I am most defiinitely not going on a date to his place

What Girls Said 4

  • I'm probably the only one here, but couldn't you just ask what you guys were going to do in his apartment? Maybe he wanted to watch a movie or something I don't know or having dinner at his house and it wasn't about sex at all. I think it's a bit rude to say no if you don't even know what you were about to do.

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    • I haven't even been on a date with this guy. I do not even know him decently enough yet. It's not rude at all

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    • I tend to agree with @spuitkaas as without asking him about the date (like watching a movie, have a good chat, play board games) you've labelled him as a bad person and he's got upset about that. But it depends on the type of personality he is and you're the only one who knows that as you've been talking to him. Not all guys are the ego alpha males supped up on testosterone and just wanting sex, but if that's the type to like and you think that's his personality then yes it was probably best you didn't go over there. There are guys (like me) who are very introverted / shy who get really nervous on the though of being out in public on a date with everyone looking at you. So feel a lot more comfortable asking a girl over or going around their place. I've had girls over for movies and that's all it was. I was still hell nervous and sat with popcorn between us, but it was nice having them over and being able to hang out in person.

    • by the way @spuitkaas you can't be single? you're way too cute.

  • Protect yourself over trying to make sure you don't hurt that guy's feelings. That is not normal, and if he doesn't have a reasonable explanation as to why he wants that and is pissed off that you would be somewhere public on a first date then that's way too creepy. Stay away.

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    • Yea he claims to be offended that I would think he's trying to do something

  • That guy sounds awkward. No. I don't think it's normal.

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    • Definitely I thought so too

  • He wanted to fuck smart girl u said no

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    • Exactly what I thought and he says he's offended that I would say he wants that

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