Will I ever find a guy that isn't just in it for the sex?

It seems like every guy that tries to get close to me is just doing it for sex. It's happened so many times now that I'm just afraid to date anyone, and I really wish I could find a nice guy to be close with. What's wrong with me that I'm only attracting these type of guys? How will I know if he really likes me for me and not my body or for sex?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • This is often caused by circumstance, and how quickly you offer it.

    If you are constantly meeting guys at bars, parties, pubs, clubs etc. then you are decreasing your chances at finding someone long term.

    Usually, people looking to meet someone in those environments want one thing. Especially after a few drinks. This applies to both guys and girls.

    Also, if you meet a guy, go out for dinner or a movie, and let him in (in the physical sense), he may just see it as a "that was easy" situation. There is nothing wrong with this, as girls and guys need sexual fulfilment without the baggage sometimes.

    However, if he gets an impression that he can have you sexually whenever he wants you may find yourself in 'booty call', or 'benefits' territory.

    Go back to the start of you mental book, and make subtle changes to your approaches. I'm not saying "make him wait", because that doesn't always work. I'm saying perhaps enjoy a few dates before sex maybe. Perhaps allow the guy to just go home after a date, and don't even bring it up.

    An easy way to do this is to have dates where, afterwards, you have plans with girlfriends. So he simply can't hang around even if you both wanted to have a bit of fun ;)

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What Guys Said 9

  • Sure, you're probably gonna friendzone him though.

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    • Freaking lol'd but 110% true.

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    • @GirlScoutsRevenge

      See, but she's looking for a nice guy to sleep with. If you haven't found out, the nice guys are the ones getting "friendzoned". She's never going to get what she wants since she can't even get the nice guys.

    • @hypno-trip stop pretending you know anything about me.

  • Keep the dates outside of each others' homes and see if the guy sticks around. Chances are If he only wants to hook up he won't stay around which means he was only in it for one thing.

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  • If he can fuck you for 24 hours of the day, he probably is there only for sex.
    If he makes time for other things, he's not there just for sex.

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  • Unfortunately there is no real way to tell until it is too late, unless he has a reputation for being a certain way. There are guys out there who are looking for more than sex, myself being one of them.

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  • Yes, they do exist, but they are always overshadowed by the like you speak of. But don't be afraid to date. It's always up to you to forewarn any guy you attract, of what you want. This way you can sift out the ones you don't like early

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  • Guys are visual. They'll think of sex every minutes if their mind is not occupied with anything.
    If you want a really nice guy that buys u flower, date those Christian guys!
    NO MARRIAGE BEFORE SEX LOL

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  • You're too young, guys who want to settle down are usually older. I'm a 25-year old virgin and I don't think I'll settle down with a girl until I'm at least 29.

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  • Are you in college at your age?

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    • I'm starting it in the fall.. Why?

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    • YESSSS, because college is HARD. Mostly everyone tends to focus on their studies and careers because college is the pathway for your future. So yea everyone is EXTREMELY focused on themselves. Most people can't even think of having a relationship because of how hard the course load typically is. Wait until you get there

    • I agree with your reasoning. Younger men don't want to settle down and if older men are using you then they're just pricks

  • Yes you will, there's plenty. But some guys only want sex for a while, then later after being single a little while, want a relationship. Sometimes they go through a bad heartbreak, and then only want sex after that before eventually switching back to wanting a relationship (the switch back will almost never never happen with the same girl)

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What Girls Said 3

  • Yes you will. I found mine in college, but they're hard to find.

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  • just don't have sex for a sustained period of time. the ones who are just looking for sex are likely not going to hang around for months on end.

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    • Yea she knows

    • So just be friendly and such? But if a guy thinks it's casual and is waiting to bone me but is getting with other girls in between me and him hanging out then what?

    • go on dates. just don't put out. if a guy is doing that... well then he isn't worth your time to begin with.

  • Sex is a basic need for everyone , So don't rush into so many guys , just find a guy whom you think is perfect for you , Have sex & Enjoy life

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