Guys, What am I doing wrong?

I've been dumped 4 times in the past for the same reason that I'm too good for them and they need to let me go so they won't hold me back. But then they have a new girlfriend in a matter of days. I try to treat men the way I want to be treated in a relationship. Understanding, caring, keeping communication open but its not working for me apparently. I admit to having faults but try not to let those ruin the relationship, what the hell should I do?

Updates:
hypno-trip, i wasn't trying to vote you down, I selected by accident and don't know how to remove it.
Thanks for the advice I will consider all of it. But will stay single for awhile.

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11

Most Helpful Guy

  • Maybe you're getting the wrong read on the guys you're going after. I notice in one of your comments you mention that you try and go after "good guys," but the outcome sounds more like these guys are looking for a casual relationship, possibly for the easy sex. That they have another girl lined up to replace you would seem to support that.

    In an opinion I gave yesterday I noted that even among "nice guys" there are some who don't really want a serious relationship but see niceness as their best route to sex. Had they more going for them and better game, they'd prefer to be players, but they'll take what they can get. It may be that, for some reason, your guy radar draws you to guys that fall into that category.

    Alternatively, it may be that you, knowing what you want, are continually (even if subconsciously) trying to take the relationship to the next level, and you're working with a pool of guys who are just not interested in going that far yet. Maybe they feel like you're moving things too fast for them (and why they might feel they're holding you back), and they'd rather be in a situation where they feel they have more flexibility for now.

    Anyhow, you seem like a good woman with her heart and mind in the right place. Hopefully you'll find a guy that feels he's good enough for you in the not too distant future.

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What Guys Said 10

  • their are some douche bags out their ill tell you what I had the same thing happen to with a lot of my girlfriends I have had in the past its not you its the guys do you go for a certain type of guy because I use to have a type of women I would go for but now I don't. I would go out with any women I dont have a preference but she has to be nice to me and make time for me of course and not to get jealous easily I think your a nice woman and any guy would be lucky to have you.

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  • "too good for them" sounds like they did not want to tell you the true reason. If they have a new girlfriend in a matter of days, they are either a stunner with amazing job and personality, or they were planning to date that other girl for a while.

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  • "You are too good for me" is a cop out reason to end a relationship I feel. I have no idea what you are doing wrong except maybe the guys you go after. If you are truly too good for them then they should have put in more effort towards the relationship because you wanted to be with them anyway

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  • You're choosing guys for the wrong reasons. You're choosing the guys who are simply physically attractive enough to you that you tell yourself they appear to be the one you want to have an emotional companionship with. You tell yourself that enough times that you believe it. However, these guys are only telling you that "you are too good for them" because they are simply playing you. They are guys who simply want a piece of ass and when they realize you aren't the type of girl who just puts out, they decide to make up a good reason to put you away. You need to go for the guys who are looking for a long-lasting, loving, endearing relationship. Not the ones you think "fit the bill" per se. A guy who fits society's idea of "the ideal boyfriend" isn't always your best bet. Go for the guy who understands you. In fact, you probably already know who he is, but you've put him in your "friendzone". That guy is your best bet. He will love you unconditionally. It's not always about what you see on the outside, but what you learn and understand about a guy that makes a difference.

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  • That's hard I don't know maybe you're attracted to a certain type of guys that keep doing this to you. Those guys look like they go through women too easily. Maybe you like a certain badboy type

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    • hey lady I'm just trying to help no need to downvote, you can correct me if I'm wrong

    • sorry I clicked it in error. I'm still trying to figure this site out

    • haha it's ok thanks miss you made my day by apologizing via update.

  • I don't know these guys but "It's not you, it's me" is a lie. Either you are choosing badly or behaving badly. But it's impossible for us to say. Is there someone who knows you well and will tell you the truth even if it's not what you want to hear?

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    • Not from a male perspective. I feel it gets filtered with women. I usually try to go for the "good guy". they usually guys who are decent but don't quite have it all together yet as fair a professionally or financially.

  • Eh, people can be Pricks, don't blame yourself for them being dbags, Their loss dude :P

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  • Don't blame yourself.
    just be single for a while an don't rush anything

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  • You're not doing anything wrong, you just haven't found the right guy that you clearly deserve.

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  • You're probably not putting out quick enough for these losers

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