I'm literally going to be 26 years old in about five minutes and every year when my birthday comes around I reflect on my life. Lately being single has been getting to me. Not that I"m ready to settle down and pop out 80 babies but I just want to meet a guy that I have chemistry with, one that I can just sit on the couch with and watch tv. I want to go out with a guy, have a beer watch a football game and talk about things and laugh about dumb stuff. I've spent a good portion of my life single so I can handle being alone but I want to have someone. All the guys I come across just aren't right. Either they want to get in my pants the first 18 secons of meeting or it's totally no chemistry and boring conversation. And then you have the psychos. But it seems like now and let me also say I am failry new to the dating world so all of these experiences are new to me. Anyway back to what I'm saying, I will meet a guy and he will be the one pursuing me, I don't play hard to get but I take some time to feel out the guy hopefully to see his intentions. So finally maybe after a few days or a week, I'll will start to show more interest and then it seems like everything cools down, he stops talking to me, or becomes very short with me. It seems like guys want me the most when I'm not quick to give them 100% attention but when I do it's a wrap. It hurts my feelings because I don't want to play these games. I just need some advice from those of you that have some real life experience, some years, some damn knowlegde on what dating is all about please give me some advice and experiences. Because I feel like sometimes maybe I should just be a cat lady or a lesbian and I really don't want to. And for men out there tell me why certain guys do things like this and if you have nay advice on what I should do.
Most Helpful Guy
I just turned 26 this month too and I know exactly where you're coming from. I can only really speak from my experiences, but I'll try to answer your question honestly.
In the past I've occasionally met girls that I've considered to be "out of my league", I'd be absolutely obsessed with them and think of little else, but when they showed interest, I'd completely lose interest and try to push them away. For me, it was about the chase, I was never really "interested" in anything about them besides the fact that I thought that I'd never be able to get them, when I realized that I could, they lost their appeal because we didn't really have any chemistry. And then there are also the girls that turned out to be someone else when I got to know them; I lost interest in them when I realized that they weren't the person that I was interested in.
As for advice, the best I can offer is to keep being yourself and not worry about it too much. That way, when you do meet a guy that's interested, he'll be interested in YOU and not a facade that you're wearing or a persona that you're adopting. The cards'll be on the table and he'll know what he's getting into. Also, it's better to strike while the iron's hot and not beat around the bush. Within the span of a few days, his interest can die down if he thinks that there's none in your end. Communicate, let him know that you're feeling something. I'm not saying to rush things or tell him that you want him, just give him something to keep him on his toes and keep the hope alive.
Either way, for now, just focus on enjoying life and being a better you.2