Should I tell this guy this on the first proper date?

There is a guy I really like and we met almost 4 weeks ago during a family trip. He knows my family already (cousin aunts) since he came to the trip along side my cousin who is his best friend. He is an adult just like me we are in our early 40's, he has no kids I have no kids, he is divorced though and I am never been married before.

I believe he got attracted to me. The thing is that since that trip we haven't seen each other again but this time just me and him. We already agree on going to the movies next week. Now would it be correct or apprpopriate to tell a guy on taht date that I want to see him again I mean after the date is finished? I mean cause I want to get to know this guy more, but I dont know if it is the man duty to say to the woman he wants to see her again or if the woman can say that. We are not teenagers anymore and we supposed to know what he wants without going around the bushes.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • This is just my opinion.

    It is not wrong or right to ask that. But as a lady/woman/girl, never ask that... first. Please don't because he will think that you are desperate. Let it happen naturally. There are plenty of ways to know about this guy you like. This is the FIRST proper date so be upfront. But do not ask about his past. My boyfriend is divorced also, so I know somewhat about this. Although he is divorce, let everything happen naturally. Meaning let him say "I hope to see you again" first.

    Again, this is the FIRST proper date so be upfront. Use some of Steve Harvey's advices. Ask him what is or are his short- and long-term goals. Ask what is he looking for in a relationship. If YOU want to have a long-term (monogamous) relationship then make sure he is ready for a serious relationship. I am just afraid that sometimes after a divorce some men afraid to commit again.

    Being upfront is the best for the first proper date. Because you don't want to waste your time or his time. So I hope my words help you. :)

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    • More or less when I first met him in taht trip he told me several things about himself, We talked like 3 hours one day and he felt comfortable around me. He told me about his past jobs, what he is currently doing now. He even told me some intimate things about his ex and I did not even ask him about it, he told me on his own. I have an idea that he does not want to get married soon cause he had seen his buddies of his same age getting divorced or being in a fake relationship that they call they they call they are in a perect family which that hardly exists. My cousin who is his best friend is going through a bad separation divorce and this guy know all what my cousin had been through and I believe for his own experience or his friends expeirence he knows, I doubt he want to commit anytime soon. He told me he is fine just the way he is now, no attachments he is enjoying his work and life. I mean so far I dont tend to marry soon either but I do want top date I am thinking he likes...

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    • Outer appearance such as hair cut? More buffed? haha since he works out and he has a nioce pair of guns hehe!!

    • LOL!!! You know try to see what he looks good for that certain day. Or if he is stressed out or anything ask him what's going on, and etc.

What Guys Said 1

  • Yes, it's totally appropriate.

    Don't get sucked in by 'expected' behavioral patterns.
    You said it yourself, you're not kids anymore.
    And you're not getting any younger either.

    If you want it, go for it!
    Besides, NOTHING is more sexy than a woman with the balls to make a move.

    If it doesn't pan out as you hoped, there's nothing you can do to change it anyway. You miss 100% of the chances you don't take.

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What Girls Said 1

  • Just be very enthusiastic at the end of the date by telling him how much fun you had and thanking him for the evening (it is amazing how many girls forget this one)!

    If it were me, I would show him my interest in subtle ways. Direct eye contact, genuine interest in his life, physical touch like touching his arm to draw him into conversation, leaning into him, sitting with your body turned into his a little, laughing out loud at his jokes. This is all Girl Signal 101 for interest.

    I would suggest dinner or coffee before or after the movie as a movie alone isn't a good first date as far as getting to know each other.

    If he suggests seeing you again (and he will) show your interest by suggesting a time; don't leave it open ended.

    Best of luck, enjoy your date!

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    • by not leaving it open ended you mean?

    • If he says, "I had fun. We should do it again" don't just say, "Yeah, I agree.". Try to get him to secure the next date by giving him a suggestion, " Hey, there is an art gallery I want to go to. Want to go? I'm free Saturday.". This way he knows you want to see him again rather than that you are politely saying you do, like everyone does at the end of dates.

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