Do you find this very petty?

I call my bfs grandma grandma because I have gotten very close to her over the 4 years we have been together. My bfs dad lives with her so we see her a lot. She is the sweetest lady and she said she loves me like a granddaughter. She only has 3 grandsons and one son so she told me before she likes having a girl around. Just to make it clear she asked me to call her grandma if I felt comfortable I didn't start doing it on my own. Well about a week ago she said that she needed to talk to me about something. I said sure what's up and she said it is bothering her middle grandson that I call her grandma and that she still loves me but out of respect for him could I just start calling her by her first name. I said yes obviously but it really hurt my feelings. If she really viewed me like a granddaughter shouldn't she tell himnto get over it? He is a 26 year old adult it isn't even his business what I call her. Like what difference does it make to him what I call her as long as I'm being respectful. I felt hurt that his grandma didn't defend me and tell her grandson that what I call her is between me and her and it has nothing to do with him. I felt like he was being petty and he should be told to get over it. Why would her grandson have an issue with it and how come I wasn't defended?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • To be honest, I could see him being a bit uncomfortable with you calling her that since you aren't technically a part of their family (yet?). It's probably just a bit weird to him, and it might seem a bit forward if he doesn't know that she told you that you could call her that.

    I know it might hurt since she definitely sounds like a great grandmother-figure in your life, but you also have to respect their feelings and thoughts.

    The family's impressions of you do matter quite a bit, so I'd go along with it for now. How does your boyfriend feel about the whole situation?

    If you can't see why he would be upset over a title, why are you upset over it either? What difference does it make to you, calling her by her first name and calling her "grandma"? Especially if you both know that she makes you feel like family, maybe it doesn't need to be said, since it's implied. I don't know, that's just all my opinion though.

    Best of luck. Sorry about him:(

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    • Because I feel like his grandma fed into his pettiness. My bf is obviously on my side why wouldn't he be? Exactly my point since it is jisy a name her grandson should have been told it isn't a big deal. Instead I have to change what I have been calling her all alone because someone else is acting childish

    • My bf said he is livid that his brother is acting rude and immature.

What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 2

  • I don't see why it's such a big deal... i mean wow!
    Talk about creating an argument out of nothing.

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    • Thank you! That's what I feel her grandson should have been told to get over it. If she truly views me as family as a granddaughter then my feelings should be protected as well.

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    • They do have a close relationship though. Usually j didn't think 26 year old men were that hung up on a relationship with their grandma.

    • You'd be surprised.
      You can be any age and exhibit those feelings.

  • Honey, no matter what, you are not family (until you marry your boyfriend, if that's something you want). Her first priority will be to protect her family's feelings. She may care about you, but you're still not her granddaughter.

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    • But family is what you make it. I have friends who aren't blood or who aren't married into the family bit they are family to me. What about my feelings am I chop liver? She said I am family to her son if she says that then both of our feelings should be equal. I could understand siding with her grandson if he was upset about something irrational that I did but I didn't do anything wrong to warrant hurt feelings or him being upset. It isn't about whose feelings come first it is about who is being irrational in the situation. You have to look at it from that standpoint. If I was in the wrong then she should defend his feelings if he is in the wrong then my feelings should be defended
      You don't just blindly side with someone because of some shared blood.

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