He's a hottie, but how to know if he's sincere, playing games, or just nuts?

Okay I met this guy on FB. He's 12 years older than me, 35 and 22. He's super sweet, and super good looking. He opens the TRUCK door for me to get in and out.. like heyy.. anyways.. we were recently discussing where we were at. He works off and isn't home much, I work all the time and am in school. I currently live about 70 miles from him but plan to be closer in the fall bc of school. He offer to help me find a job in the city, and stay at his place, even though he wouldn't be there. What? He wants to settle down, he's divorced with 4 kids. I would like to settle down as well, I mean it's not a rush, nor is it with him. I'm not aposed to either single or settled. However I do want to live on my own before I move in with a guy, as I live at home now. It just kinda weirded me out that he mentioned it.. I dk if that should be a red flag or what. He also made a joke about finding a younger better looking fella at school when I transfer and gunna kick his old butt to the curb. Which made me think maybe he's insecure? He's never said anything like that or that leads me to believe he is in the past. We aren't in a relationship.. we haven't put a label on it, we see each other when he's home, and we talk/text while he's gone. We've been having this thing and talking since mid January, but we've only seen each other 5 or 6 times. But it's great when we do. My thing is, should his joke and his offer throw up red flags?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Any divorced guy that is over 10 years older with 4 kids that has bagged a hottie like you (I'm assuming that is your real pic in your profile) is going to feel a little mismatched. I wouldn't say they are red flags. He's probably just really into you and wants to keep you around however he can. Cut him some slack. He's just hoping you'll stick around. Just tell him you'd rather stay on your own. If he starts being an ass or overly worried about that then that is your red flag.

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    • Yeah, that's me in the pic. And yeah he's older, but he's a hottie himself. Respectful, has his stuff together, and is a great dad, his principals is what I like, we have so much in common, as in our out look on life. And he's mentioned that he's like me to hang around, which I agreed that I'd enjoy doing such. But it kinda weirded me out. I know he was ju at trying to be nice and help me out, and looking at it in that way it doesny seem weird, like if we were just good friends. However we have a thing that we haven't even labeled yet and he mentioned that, it made me think maybe he's rushing things. I think you're right, I should cut him some slack and stop over analysing

What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 2

  • 1. He's too old for you 2. Have you even met in person yet? 3. Your right he's going too fast 4. It's definitely weird asking a girl much younger than him to move in with him yet... he won't be there? :\. Lol i think he's taking you for a fool... how does he expect for you to both even date when your both SO busy? and why on earth would your parents even allow you to go off with a stranger dude much older than you?, id say definite red flag... i don't trust a guy who doesn't really have time to commit to the relationship but wants you to eat and sleep at his? HA! nice try... your better off without him. If your moving out of town to go to college then i don't think it's the best time to be starting relationships because you;d start one then probably move back home again once your done. Tell him nice try but your not moving in with him when he knows it would never work.

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    • Yes we met, and the college I'm transferring to would actually put me a lot closer to him, when he's home. It'd only be 20 miles instead of 70. That's why he offered me to stay there until I got on my feet good. And my parents have no say so, I'm grown. He's a very respectful man, and they would a prove of him more so that the younger fellas I've dated. And I would be more comfortable if I took him up on the offer knowing he wouldn't be there bc it wouldn't be like we lived together just kinda like a rent his house and he stays there when he's home. He stays gone a month or 3 at a time. And hell come home for a couple weeks. I can deal with that..

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    • He's willing to commit, I'm the one who is making sure to take this extra slow as my last relationship left me with some issues that tend to make me stand off ish. Like I said many people do it, some women even travel with their man, and if we hit it off, I could do that, but I have to finish my things at home first like my schooling. However, I stated before him being gone isn't an issue. The fact I got weirded out bc he offered to help me out by saying I could stay at his house if I wanted until I got on my feet good, or long.. that was my issue. I have no intentions of accepting the offer, it just really threw me off. But I think he was just trying to help me, not rush what we have, and not hang it over my head. He's a real stand up guy.

    • Hopefully it's only early days yet, id definitely just live on your own, it would just seem so strange staying there in somebody else's place while they are away but it's definitly too quick, you seem you already knwo what your doing really.

  • Do you think you can make it work?

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    • Yes, I think it's possible. We are so good together, but I wig out when I feel someone may move too quick. But everyone has their on sense of moving too fast or too slow

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