I've been seeing a girl casually for nearly 6 months. She isn't completely over her marriage ending last year, but we both started to develop feelings a month ago. She dug her heels in the ground and backed away. This week she told me it would've been her wedding anniversary so she's all messed up and she doesn't want to bring anyone else in to her confusion. She told me that she isn't ending what we have, but she needs to create some space. She won't admit to having feelings but I know they were there. Seems she locked them away because she's afraid and she isn't completely healed yet. She's always insisted on just friends who have good sex, but I know the feelings where there and that's why she backed off. Should I stop talking to her for a while, or just really tone it down? Am I beating a dead horse still trying to see her on occasion? Or should I just walk away completely? We had a great connection from day one and it's hard to let that go.
Most Helpful Girl
If I were you, I'd keep my distance. I believe you'll end up hurt if you keep pursuing her. She may have sincere feelings for you but at this moment, it'll be very difficult to distinguish if she truly wants something serious with you or just deeply appreciates your presence while she's going through this difficult process of grieving her marriage. In a way, you are her emotional crutch and that doesn't really place you in a great position when it comes to anything long term. You're filling the void. If you can place your feelings aside and be there for her when necessary, then definitely do. Just don't expect anything in return. At least not for a long time. You shouldn't allow her to pursue things either because in the long run, it's too soon.
I went through the same thing with my previous relationship a few years back and realized that the person I was seeing right after my relationship deteriorated wasn't someone I was in love with and he fell in love with me. I deeply cared for him, built a great bond, appreciated his presence, but overall I didn't allow myself to grieve properly. He was my crutch. I should've given myself some space instead of jumping into a relationship and hurting someone else in the process.
Just let her know you'll be there for her. Be patient. She will insinuate the next step to a relationship when she's ready.0