Does he sound a bit controlling or am I wrong?

Long story short, went on a first date the other day. The guy and I ended up kissing at the end of the night and everything seemed great, but I got a bit of a weird vibe from him when:

1.) He started arguing with me because I didn't want to take a taxi. I said I'd take the bus home instead (it was 2 am in the morning but I said I'd be fine - he wouldn't listen to me) He said I'd never hear from him again if I didn't take a taxi.

2.) He said that I should call him the next time a guy flirted with me. I told him a funny story of how this one guy tried to touch my hair the weekend before at an event.

3.) I got a text from a friend at 2 am and he asked me who it was. When I said it was a from a friend, he said "that's a bit late for a friend to be texting.."

4.) Whenever I looked out of the window in the restaurant, he was watching me and asking me what I was looking at.

I know I might be overthinking and could be wrong, but does he sound like he likes being a bit dominant?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Was he ever cheated on? Or hurt in the past by women?
    If so, he's bringing his issues that he hasn't yet gotten over in your relationship.
    He's trying to control you because he doesn't want to get hurt again.

    He needs to realize that you are not those women.
    You are you !
    If he's going to try to control you, he will only end up pushing you away.
    In order for this relationship to have any success he has to work on his self esteem issues and allow himself to trust you.
    If he can't... the relationship will eventually fail.

    If this is not the reason,
    I suspect he's testing you to see how much control over you he can have.
    When you give it, and allow yourself to grow weak his power over you will grow stronger.
    He will try to dictate a lot of your actions.
    This controlling behavior will allow him to think you are his property.
    The extent of this can be emotional or physical abuse.
    You don't want to stick around for things to get out of hand.

    IF I were you I'd sit down with him and have a serious talk.
    You need to find out why he is doing the things he's doing.
    You need to also stand up for yourself and let him know you are allowed to make your own decisions.
    Be calm and collective, do not yell or sound aggressive.
    Try to have a mature discussion with him.

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What Guys Said 3

  • Do you even have to ask?

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  • First date and not far in this is happening with no probable cause then drop him asap.. If he caught you cheating or sexting or whatever I can see about the text thing but other than that he has issues this early on especially.

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    • That's what I thought as well. I don't know why it would be any of his business that I get a text from a friend..

  • If a girl said anyone of these things wrong I'd probably re think my interest

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What Girls Said 6

  • CONTROL FREAK ALERT!

    You're definitely on point with your assertion. Threatening breakup over your choice of transport sounds completely insane to me. I can understand being concerned for your safety, but he is definitely nuts for saying what he said.

    He expects you to "report" to him every time you make ANY sort of contact with any guy. For fuck's sake, he's paranoid about you looking out the bloody window!

    My advice for you in the chorus of this Iron Maiden song:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3ZlDZPYzfm4

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  • For the first date yikes. However he may just want to show you he likes you and is being protective. And territorial. I'd give it another chance or two and if your gut still feels the same as well as his actions then it's time to go cause that's not healthy.

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    • I wasn't sure whether he liked me to be honest. Would you say a guy likes you if he displays these types of signs?

    • Absolutely. He likes you. For sure. He wants you to be safe. He wants you to just be his. And he's figuring out what you've got going on (late night texts) He's the jealous type. Not bad but be careful.

    • I thought the same too. Opinion owner.

  • Go on a second date to find out more.

    It's not safe to be out on the bus alone.

    There might be a bit of possessiveness because he likes u or something..

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    • He's looking out for your back.

    • I know the bus situation wasn't safe and that to some extent he was right. So you think he was being possessive because he liked me?

    • He sounds like a fiery passionate person. :P

  • Yes he is being dominant. Way toooooo dominant. Ask him for privacy politely and don't make it offensive? Although he's your boyfriend he needs to respect your privacy tho!

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    • The thing is he isn't my bf. It was our first date

    • Ohh I'm sorry I didn't read your post carefully! But for the first date.. I didn't think he was leaving a good impression. But maybe that's how protective he is over you.

  • He sounds controlling. Controlling people often become abusive. Just leave him

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  • nope your right. he sounds like a controlling bitch. if i he told me i'd never hear from him again if i did not take the taxi i'd respond: Then so be it.

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    • I started laughing when he said that because I didn't think he was being serious. But then when I looked at him he looked so serious

    • well.. i guess he likes you but this isn't the way to show that.

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