Should I text her after the date or not?

[tyrantfuryre]

So every time I go out with a girl on a date (1st date), at the end of the night after we part ways about 10 minutes later I'll text the girl and say "I had a good time, would you like to see me again?".

My question is, is it ok/should I say/ask that, or just part ways after having a good time, go home and contact her sometime the next day?

I'm confused because I've asked this question to some of my friends and half of them say don't say anything and half say it's ok to text and say/ask. I'm confused. =(

"I had a good time, do you wanna see me again?"

....say nothing and contact her sometime the next day

Updates

+1 y

Voting also helps too everyone. I basically have to take the vast majority of what everyone says and go with that...since everyone is different after all.

Updates

+1 y

Thank you to pretty much everyone who contributed so far. It's allowed me to realize a few mistakes I have made, which may have wrecked a few of my chances in the past. Thanks again. =D

[Anonymous]

first off..fairyfly is right.

you should never EVER say "would you like to see me again?"

think about anybody you look up to as a man.

Imagine James Bond. Even though he's a fictional character, the things he say's and does to women DO happen in reality. Trust me.& he would definitely never say something like that. am I right? absolutely I am.

asking her that shows her that you are unconfident. & that you are unsure about yourself.

a question like that shows her that she has control of your "relationship" and more importantly..you.

**in your head --"was I good" "was I cool enough" "does she like me" "i really like her" "i hope she likes me".. Bad..Bad..BAD.

basically..keep your insecurities to yourself..she can read them & you don't want that. At all.

you should know whether she wants to see you again by the time you guys part ways at the end of the date. A girl that is really into you, will let you know for sure.

if for whatever reason the date came to an awkward conclusion and you aren't sure..the last thing you want to do is ask her THE NIGHT OF if she "wants to see you again." that's something a little boy does..not a man. why? because a real man doesn't care what she thinks. it was the first date. it should have just been fun..& showed her that you are a guy worth being around. asking her if she "wants to see you again" shows that you are all in for her. you don't want her to know that. you want her to think that MAYBE she has a chance with you. that MAYBE you want to see her again.

just think of it as hanging out with a new guy friend for the first time. you wouldn't ask him if he wants to see you again lol..that would just be weird. same thing goes for the first few dates with a girl.

in the end..don't contact her the night of. or the next day a few hours after you wake up lol. Just text her at lunch and say "hey! I wish I had some more of that sushi from last night lol" or something innocent like that. she'll respond. & if she doesn't..well lol, that shows how interested she is (which is not at all).

goodluck dude. learn to not make those critical mistakes. because they can be fatal on your heart. they set up the rest of your relationship (if there will even be one at that point)

[tyrantfuryre]

Well said man, thanks.

[Littletad]

Usually you should discuss seeing her next time near the end of the date. An hour later is perfectly fine to say, "I had a good time". Nothing more, nothing less. Or if your afraid of coming off as clingy, you could make it the next day.

To avoid saying, "When can I see you again", since it' sounds desperate, I usually say, "We should do this again". This gives her a chance to give her input and next availability.

[tyrantfuryre]

What's THE best choice then? Just text her the next day? Or text her the next day and say, so I had fun last night, we should do something again?

[Littletad]

Tell her, "We should do this again", while talking to her in person, not in a text. Also go ahead and text her one hour after a date, a simple, "I had a great time".

[rainydaydreamaway]

Well, if it really went well and you've let her know, face to face, at the end of the evening that you enjoyed yourself and want to see her again and she seemed enthused, and you still feel like texting her that night, go ahead if it feels right. Women like men who will take a risk for their affections. But keep the text short and sweet. Say "that was fun, looking forward to seeing you again" or something like that. And if she responds right then, it means she is cool with that. If she waits till the next day or longer, slow ur flow! Match her pace and don't rush her.

Women are different. Some will want to hear from you that night and will be really happy you texted. Others who like you will feel like that's too quick and may just respond to be nice because they had a good time and you are nice but this makes them feel unsure, and still others will see you as clingy and either dump you or take advantage of your feelings. And then there's the psychos who wonder why you waited 10 minutes and wonder what kind of jerk you are for stringing them along for a whole 10 minutes! Avoid them like the plague!

There is no solid answer because it depends on the girl and her pace and the chemistry/ connection between you. So don't try a "one-size-fits-all" approach... tune into HER and see what fits HER.

Then take a step back and see if that works for you before you make another move. If she is too detached or too eager, it may not be right for you. Your pace matters too. But again, it's all subjective and depends on the circumstance, her pace and how the connection feels for you.

Good luck to you! :)

[nique23]

I think it's forward and straight to the point. If she had a great time she'll be happy to receive that text and if not that's on her. I think what you've been doing is working it doesn't come off as desperate or clingy.

[tyrantfuryre]

Well here's the thing...I've had like NO luck with girls...at all. That's why I'm asking a lot of questions on here to see/narrow it down to what exactly I'm doing wrong. I'm clearly doing something wrong. =(

[fairyfly]

Ha! you just admitted you hav no luck with girls and ur asking girls wut ur doing wrong... my guess as previously stated, is you come across like ur needy desperate and unconfident... total turn off... single by their own doing?? pot calling the kettle black I think ;)

[tyrantfuryre]

LOL I'm not coming off as desperate, needy or "unconfident"...which is spelled wrong btw. Don't comment or answer my questions or answers anymore fairyfly. Seriously.

[mariefaye]

do what ever your feel is ok. personally I was always think its nice for a guy to txt beck after a date

[ryanontario]

well you maybe don't have to text them back rate away , it could wait till the next day or a bit later than what your doing . myself I wouldn't feel the need to say anything rate away if I had just been with the girl

[beast209]

My experience they either usually text first then I reply or I'll text the next day. You don't want to come on as desperate or stalkerish. If everything is kool, then before you drop her off more than likely she'll talk about next time

[Littletad]

You a capoeira artist ?

[beast209]

No break dancer

[fairyfly]

that's 2 soon. do it right b4 bed or mid afternoon the next day. and 4 god sakes leave out the 'would you like 2 c me again' part. omg if I wanted 2 c you again and you said that I would change my mind right there no offense ;) lol you could say 'i had a good time' or 'i had a good time, lets get 2gether again soon'

[tyrantfuryre]

And your "omg" would make me think twice about wanting to see you again. ;) That's something 16 year olds say, no offense.

[tyrantfuryre]

Btw...my above comment is not made for me to sound like a jerk. I too was being sincere. The fact that a text message like that would change your mind is...well....ridiculous and sad, to say the least. We're grown ups, this is the real world. Any girl or guy that would react like that to a simple text is more than likely single by their own doing. Cheers.

[fairyfly]

So no one over 16 says 'omg'? lmfao... wait is that ok? can people over 16 say lmfao??

my point, which you totally mist btw, is that 'would you like 2 c me again' REEKS of insecurity and desperation... so if I had a good time on the date it shoulda been obvious 2 a 'grown up' as you call yourself... if you hav 2 ask a question like that it would meake you look completely clueless and unconfident... no offense

[fairyfly]

And 4 the record... 'a simple text' as you call it DOES hav the power 2 make or break an entire relationship. sorry but its true... and I'm 31... and I hav 4 children... and iv been married 9 years...

[fairyfly]

1 last thing, it might b relevant 2 know wut country/culture you are in? I'm asking because in america if a guy said 'cheers' he would appear 2 b gay... but I know this is normal in britain

-respectfully

[tyrantfuryre]

Learn to spell. I'm disregarding all of your "advice". You sound like an immature, insecure, douche bag. Btw, you haven't upset or insult me in any way shape or form. I think you're quite pathetic, actually.

Lastly, you're block. I don't need to hear garbage like this from trash like yourself. CHEERS!!!

[tyrantfuryre]

Ah what the hell, one more thing...to call an American "gay" because he has used a "British" word? Who are you to decipher the meaning, relevance or acceptance of any given word or phrase? I'm thinking you're also racist. You appear to have some of the characteristics of one. You are incredibly ignorant, my friend. Did I use too many big words, proper grammar or spelling for you, big, tough, intelligent married woman? Aww, so cute you are. ;)

[prettyjules15]

Do not text 10 minutes after a date. It's a complete turnoff. A couple of months ago I had a first date with a guy and he texted me right afterward. It seemed weird and clingy that he wanted to talk to me when we had just seen each other so I texted him for a while and then made up an excuse to stop. When he texted again like an hour later, I decided I didn't want to see him again.

[tyrantfuryre]

That's a little strange, but that's not fair that you made a decision based upon a text message. Texting is going to be the fall of human communication(s).

[meetmehalfway]

girls don't like desperate or clingy guys. you should definitely text her the next day maybe even at night.believe me we won't think you are not intereseted as long as you do talk to her afterwards. not texteing her until the next day will keep her mind on you all day long believe me :)