Guy who acts hot and cold- could he be into me or just playing me?

I've been seeing him since late March.
I thought he just must suck at texting but outright ignoring is something else (he's ignored a text here or there and doesn't start conversations much)
just reading that you'd think he's not very interested
yet when I see him he's really sweet- cuddling, suggesting coupley things to do etc.
whats his deal? I don't want to say something and sound needy- but I only message him like every couple of days... which I think is less than normal.
Just looking for a third party perspective


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Men tend to be visual creatures... when he sees you, he acts that way because you are right there in front of him. Texting is impersonal in my opinion, so there is a slight loss of connection. I can't speak for him, because I don't know him but I have been in your shoes before. It's still in the early stages, I would keep initiating playful/friendly texts every so often if you don't hear from him. According to all of my guy friends, men can be single minded, in that if they are focused on something (a tv show, video game, sports event etc) they tend to lose track of time. Doesn't mean he isn't interested. Hopefully you guys will find your rhythm and it'll work out! (:

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    • That makes me feel better :)
      I think I'll leave the texting for mostly organising plans and seeing how that goes :)

    • It's a fine balance; you need to be chill but not so much so you seem uninterested. I know I've been told I'm so laid-back they thought I didn't care anymore, and that wasn't the case at all. So I just text every so often, like you said to make plans and it works. Hope it does for you, too! :)

What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 2

  • Girl it's too early for him to be so "relaxed" about contacting you. Red flag!

    I would agree with the answers below... if... you've been with the guy for a while and you know his style of communication. However... in the beginning, there should be much more interactions and excitement.
    I honestly think he's not that interested. He likes you enough to have you around but its more casual for him. So, its kind of like; if I see her, great.. if I dont; then thats fine as well.
    This doesn't mean that it can't change but its something to think about.

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  • Have friends like that... that have saved me from peril many times.
    Yet some are NOT phone people, others NOT texting, others NOT email. Each has their preferred method of communication and they refuse to allow other forms to take up much/any extra comm time out of their day.
    > Think how some friends may only wish to bank via car in person and others do it ALL electronically or USPS. Same parallel.

    This is one of those in-person guys, nothing more & that's all there is to this. Lover it or leave him.

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