Do you think a year is too soon to move in together?

So my boyfriend and I decided that if we are still together next year (which we both expect to be) he will move up to the city I am in for school and we will move in together. I'll be 21 and my boyfriend will be 20. We will have been dating for about a year. Do you think that is too soon to move in together or no? He currently lives an hour away and the distance is taking a toll on both of us.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • It's not too soon if you two really want to make it happen. Also, if it doesn't work out you can always move out again.

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    • I already lived with a boyfriend once. I moved up to school with my ex (current boyfriend at the time), while I was going to school. We got an apartment with us and two of his friends. We had been dating for five years but then we broke up two months into living together. The three boys moved out and left me with rent. I'm kind of worried about that happening, but I don't think my current boyfriend would do that. He's too kind to do that, and after everything I told him that my ex did he seems like he really wants to cause damage to him. Luckily my ex lives in another city, or I would be worried my boyfriend would do something to him. (He doesn't have anger issues just really protective over people he cares about).

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    • I would have loved to sue him. Unfortunately I had no money for a lawyer.

    • I see. Well I hope that everything works out this time =]

What Guys Said 4

  • Yes, way too soon.

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    • Why do you say that? Would you change your mind if we were both older?

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    • The core of the problem is not your certainty it's your reality.

      Your proposition is entirely emotional, you bring up your ex and not being 100% sure but that's emotional not necessarily logical, and you can feel 100% sure about anything in the world and it turns out bad. That's not my point; I am not aiming to discourage you in the sense that you are doomed, but again I cannot help but stress that no matter how you spin it you don't have a back-up plan. How about this then, why not make a joint "Prepaid Rent" savings account with him?

      Take the median cost of an apartment in your area, whatever it is, and divide that in half. Every month for the next nine to twelve months you both make a deposit to this account building it's fund and then you can afford to prepay your rent. You say "What if he runs with the money!"; the bank you use can set limits on how much can be removed at any time and obviously neither of you should be deducting without adequate communication.

    • If you cannot afford half, which is fine, try for a quarter to build up half that rent time as prepaid this way again if something goes awry say in month three you still have a 1.5 month cushion at the least to get things in order; it's a life saver and it proves dedication in a more tangible sense. If one of you breaks the money is simply managed through the bank as joint accounts can be set up to prevent one person from taking more than half.

      Win/win.

  • No idea how mature you are/what your relationship is really like. Hard to say.

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  • Nope, not too soon

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  • Duh. filler filler filler

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What Girls Said 5

  • It's not too soon if you two are willing to work at it together. My boyfriend bought a house and had his ex (gf at the time) move in with him after less than a year of being together. The reason they moved in together was bc they saw each other all the time so why not just live together. After living with her for 2 months he realized what a mistake it was bc she wasn't what he thought she was. Things didn't end up working out and he asked her to move out. She did immediately, moving out of his house and moving into another man's house...

    i think living together will show what a couple is eally like when living together and it can even bring a couple Closer (or further) apart.

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    • We both are willing to work at it. We've had many conversations that have started out as "When we get our own place" or "when we are married'. We both agree that we want to spend the rest of our lives together. We just know that we shouldn't rush into things and that we are both extremely young, so we don't want to rush into things. If we could, we would move in together tomorrow, but we don't want to rush into things so we decided on next year.

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    • Can you tell that to my parents? They think I'm stupid for wanting to move in with him next year. But I know that's what I want. It will allow me to see him more, and also it helps in the long run. Dealing with the stress of school, plus the pain of not seeing him very much, some days I just don't want to get out of bed.

    • You're not stupid but it will definitely be hard at first adjusting to moving and school and work and finding a balance with life overall. Im sure one of their concerns is money and that you're still young. but you're over 18, you sound very determined about doing this with your bf, and I think its courageous as well as influential that you are willing to wait a year even though you miss him so much now. Don't worry too much about your parents--they're your parents, they'll worry! Just do what you do.

  • No, I dont think so. I had a friend that met her ex through a friend, they dated for around 2-3 months and moved in together. He ended up being extremely abusive, was sent to jail twice during their relationship due to battery and is probably still in jail for kidnapping her. So you are fine, I hope. by the way, this is a true story I wish I was lying haha. Just trust your gut.

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  • Yeah in my opinion

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  • Yes too soon and you're too young. Give it some more time. Everyone i know who moved in together , regretted moving in after a few months.

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  • Yes It's too soon.

    Support yourselves. You can still see each other without spending every waking moment together. If it doesn't work out you won't get screwed over like your last bf.

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    • We barely even get to see each other. He lives an hour away and works 7-4:30. I have school (September-April) and only have Wednesday and Thursday off. Unless one of us takes time off from work, which neither of us can afford to right now, we barely get to see each other.

    • I've been barely seeing my bf for 2 years. We live an hour and a half apart. We are just now talking about getting a place together that is half way between our worlds so we can see each other more.

      Your bf can move to your city but why do you need to get a place together and put all of that strain on your relationship?

    • he's a country boy, if he moved to the city it would be to live with me until I'm done school. He wouldn't move to a city just to live by himself.

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