I like a white guy but my parents hate white people?

I'm a black female who is interested in a white guy at my university. We have been talked for a few months now and I'm crushing pretty hard. Problem is my parents hate white people. If they knew I was into him I would get disowned and thrown out of the house. White people aren't even allowed foot in our yard let alone inside our home if I did introduce him to them. Just dating him is easier said than done. Anyone been in this situation?

Updates:
Talking" stupid phone. Sorry for the typos

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Respect your parents. They are providing you with an education which has taken you from them. I am sure you know that you do not win by pushing him in their face, so don't present him to them. No one needs the stress.

    You cannot bring up a woman to be a good person and not see the world find her attractive. Slowly the purpose of your family will disapate and you will move on without them. It is their choice to stay stuck in a small world filled with hate.

    Think about it, each time they see someone different they must search their mind for a reason to hate or drop their guard. It is a misserable life to be "on" at all times.

    The time will come when they must come around to recognize what makes you happy. Life is about how we deal with change, every day is a new experiance and challenges, they will come around through time and prayer. Good luck,

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What Guys Said 11

  • Well, it's 2015 and your parents are giant racists. So you know, that's a pretty big issue. You should probably tell them to work on that.

    Beyond that, there isn't much you can do. You can either see him in secret or accept the fact that you probably can't be with whomever you want until you are completely independent of your parents. It's probably best to not jeopardize their financial support right now.

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  • My mother married a Jewish man in 1984 and his family disowned him for it. Interracial marriages can sometimes cause complications, if the families don't support it. If you really love this man, the best you can do is perhaps sit down and talk to your parents about it and ask if they are at least willing to meet him. Sometimes people have a change in heart or are willing to make exceptions for the right person.

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  • If your parents pay for your school, then don't tell them you're dating a white guy. U don't want them to ransom your education

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  • Wow! That's a huge shame!! I've never been in such a situation. I'm not sure what I would do if I was in that situation. I would certainly do what I could so they can like me. But if they are very stubborn and do not have any plans ever to like white people, then either you would need to be disowned by your parents and go with him or it's not going to work out between you and him. I wish you the best.

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  • Are you sure this guy even knows you like him as more than a friend? Most white guys don't even think black girls are attracted to us, so this might actually be a moot issue.

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  • Not to be mean but your parent have to die them and your grandparents. Not just black parent white parent Asian. All of them so. we move forward.

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  • America is a super power and modern minded country. LOL

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    • Your country still has cholera outbreaks and smallpox. Pipe down.

    • Luckily for both of our countries, yes, we are, or else we'd judge all Indian citizens based off of your idiot comment. Way to make your country proud.

  • Your parents are racists.

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  • Another problem is whether he likes your not.

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  • Well only white people can be racist of course, so that's not possible.

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  • Your parents are awful people and are part of the reason there will always be racism in the world.

    DO what you can to break away from their bigotry and live your life better.

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What Girls Said 7

  • Girl, I feel for you and am sorry that you are forced to choose between your freedom and your family. Its not fair and it's not right!

    I am a believer in honesty being the best policy but I agree with previous posters - the fact that not only your person but your future is dependent on your parents support means you have two options: lie or surrender. However, lying and leading a double life as well as willingly bowing to the demands of racists and bigotry will both weigh on you and cause additional stress and grief. Judging purely by the tone of your message, it seems that you are a good daughter who respects her parents and understands that she is not entitled to their financial support. If you weren't a good daughter, it would make the lying easier; the irony is cruel.

    Are you 100% certain about your parents' extreme reaction? Is it possible that they would make an exception, that their daughter's favor would change their perception - just this once? You made it pretty clear but I know from my experience that compromising your beliefs and the guilt from lying is very harmful and hurtful. All options must be ruled out so this can be avoided at all costs.

    Either way, I hope you reevaluate your thoughts to ensure all emotional bias is been removed when assessing your parent's potential reaction - this assessment dictates where and how you go from here and over or underassuming can lessen your options. And I pray that your parents reconsider theirs. Best of luck to you all.

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  • That's horrible. I have gotten shit for not being into black guys much (i only might like them if they are as light skin as me or more) but being into white guys and other races more. Its really fucking annoying and I lost a friend over it because she called me internally racist. And on top of that people where "jokingly" calling me racist before.

    At first it was funny but then I had to let them have it. It stopped for the most part.

    And the girl had this livid obession with Asian guys too so she didn't even need to try getting at me plus I never gave her shit about liking girls too. She was a jerk.

    I think she was mad at me from before because she liked me And I ignored her flirting because I only wanted to be her friend. I think everything just boiled over with that.

    And sometimes my mom will tease me about it even though she finds white guys and Spanish guys attractive sometimes. But she's old school and my mom so I try to ignore it. Overall she is a fantastic person and I wouldn't want anyone else to be my mom.

    I had this teacher who said to this girl in one of my classes that she has jungle fever because one of the dudes in my class made the assumption that her boyfriend was white.

    The teacher is old school too and on top of that a jerk anyway so I'm not surprised. I think he was joking but it was still untasteful

    -sigh-

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  • I'm sorry your parents are so racist. If you depend on them I regretfully say don't tell them about this guy. My ex was a black man and his mother hated me because I'm white. She gave him shit about our relationship so much. I'm glad he wasn't disowned or kicked out but still to be angry that your child marries or dates outside of their race is ridiculous.

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  • Ok start working hard and find a place of your own if you want to date white guys

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    • My parents are paying for my college tuition and apartment once I get out of the dorms next year. I can't afford to pay all of this on my own.

    • Then all you got now is lying.. But they will soon get suspicious when you go out a lot and they will keep hounding you until you tell them the truth.

  • I HATE racist people no matter what race they are

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  • Fuck your parents. Mixed babies are the best.

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  • That's how mine feel about blacks people

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