After continuously lying if your SO suddenly revealed that they were actually very promiscuous before you two got together, what would you do?

You have been together with your SO for quite some time now. You two haven't discussed each other's sexual past in detail but they have said that the number was no bigger than 5 - all within relationships. What if one day they come clean and reveal that they have actually slept around a lot?
What do you do?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • My main concern would be why they felt the need to lie to me. I wouldn't be upset if my partner had slept with more than 5 people or had sex outside of relationships.

    I suppose I would be upset that they thought I would be judgmental and wouldn't accept them, but I would also feel bad that their experiences had led them to feel that way.

    We'd need to have a conversation about the lying, but it wouldn't be a dealbreaker to me.

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What Girls Said 8

  • Ew, Gross. I would lose interest in sex with him immediately. So we'd probably break up.

    I haven't ever been emotionally invested in any of my relationships though... I don't know why. They never went beyond "like". So it would be a pretty easy decision unless if I cared for him.

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  • I would be disappointed in them for lying to me, so that'd betray my trust. It wouldn't be a dealbreaker, though. People don't exactly always make wise decisions, and I'm willing to accept them for who they are regardless of their past. I make everyone I sleep with get checked for STD's before we do anything sexual, so the fear of catching STD's wouldn't be there, in regards to promiscuity.

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  • Accept it and move on.

    I'm very grateful that my BF hasn't felt the need to ask me about my past. I don't think it matters and I think wanting to know each others past always creates problems... ALWAYS. At least, that has been my experience.

    As long a neither one has an STI to pass along, sexual history is just that - HISTORY.

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    • Not that it's my business, but could it be that you're glad your boyfriend hasn't asked because you have a lot of people in your past? Again, not judging, just curious.

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    • Although it's up to you, I think it would be very respectful towards him if you told him. Most men would want to know. I know I'd want to. I mean, if you think he wouldn't judge you for it then surely you can tell him.

    • There's no reason to tell him. Why would I? He obviously doesn't care or doesn't want to know. That's one of the things I like about him! Also that he's not jealous at all.

  • This has actually happened, but he didn't have a high number he just lied about who he had slept with. Honestly I was hurt because he basically made himself seem a certain way. He didn't let me make that judgement call. Also I had lost my virginity to him, I believed what he told me but turned out to be a lie. His lying went on for 6 years... I should have saved myself the time and agony and dumped him right then and there. I had to learn the hard way. Haha

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  • I would have no problem with their number being in the 30's and beyond. But if they lied about it to me in the first place (not that Id ever ask a guy) it would become a problem.

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  • I'd be really fucking pissed. Probably make them go get tested with me

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  • I don't like surprises either and I know someone from GAG that has many sexual experience because of his previous career. He was contemplating on telling his SO about his previous life, but I'm not sure if he's actually done so.

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  • I'd be confused and ask him why he felt the need to lie to me about his past sexual history when he knows my views on this kind of thing.

    We'd have to discuss the lying, and I might be concerned about what else he's not been truthful about, but I don't think him having a promiscuous past alone is grounds to break up. I don't really care about that, aside from knowing he's clean, but I'd know that already because we'd have gotten tested together. Yay for safe sex.

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What Guys Said 4

  • Unless he/she has an STD, you do and say nothing. It's quite common for both men and women to lie about the number of sexual partners they had prior to being with you. Women tend to be more conservative, while men tend to be more generous in exaggerating their numbers. Men do it to bolster their egos, while women say less so they won't give off the impression they'll just sleep with anybody.

    But you know what? It really doesn't matter, does it? What difference does it make if it's 5 or 7? Her vagina isn't going to fall off when that magic number of 10 connects with her. Her past and your past are just that; ancient history, and what matters is she's with you now. You weren't in her life at that level when she had those partners, so you have nothing to be upset about.

    That doesn't mean it's easy street for me, either. I don't like thinking about my wife's past sexcapades, but most people have a little bit of jealousy in them, which isn't bad, because it tells your partner you care about them.

    I mean, unless your SO enjoyed being gang-banged by a large group of men and showed signs of having some psycho sexual disorder, the number of people you and her have been with in the past is irrelevant, and the only thing you do when you coax that out of someone is cause yourself grief and make the other person feel bad.

    So, if you can, just let it go. If you love this girl, then accept her and your life together as it is today and not who she dated before you were ever in the picture.

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    • It matters to some people. I become uninterested after a certain number and nothing can bring that back again.

    • Good for you. I didn't know there was a limit on sexual partners someone had to abide by and if they crossed that number, they needed to be punished for being human.

  • I would dump her... for

    1.) Lying to me... And hurting me... intentionally

    2.) After knowing that she had slept around a lot i would lose interest in her and feel disgusted to even touch her... And i would lose the attraction towards her...

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  • In my opinion there have to be no secrets between couple so I will beno more in her life

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  • dealbreaker... I don't like surprises. specially unpleasant ones

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