She has lots of guys friends and she seems manipulative help me understand?

Hello guys i am a 19 years old male and i work at a mall , there's this girl i am friend with or i think we are since she acts weird lately , but the thing is she has dozens of male friends maybe 1 or two female friends and dozens of male friends of whom a lot expressed an interest in dating her i've been trying to understand her and crack her code if that makes sense to you , we ended up hanging out alone just the two of us late at night and it involved some touching , she gets too close to guys and when they start liking her she simply ignore their feelings and insists on just being friends , she told me that she had a BF before but they broke up and remianed friends and that she never had sex before despite all of her friends doing it , I don't know iam just trying to understand her more she seems so manipulative to me and loves to use people , she is super nice and cares but at the same time she is sooooooooooooo manipulative and hard to understand.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • She's probably the kind that loves attention, but is fiercely independent, or scared to get too close because it's a breach of her personal space. She's caring, but sometimes she might not realise that it could be misleading. She might lead a person on, but she'll want her distance. She may seem manipulative, and she might even be - getting someone's attraction probably excites her, but once she realises that things can get kinda serious, she'll back out. She may be emotionally attached as a friend, but the moment it's about deeper relationships, she might be thinking more rationally - from her head and not her heart. That makes her the more dominant type, because until she herself decides it, she won't take the plunge, and nor will she allow herself to be so vulnerable. But eventually there may be a point where she'll pull away her wall. I'm not sure how relationships with such people work out. It's hard to keep up - it'll probably be something where she'll take off for a while or not be responsive all the time. Not sure though.

    I can also think of girls who love to gain attention from those who don't give them attention. It's a game yea, it excites them. But that's it, once they gain attention, they don't wanna keep it up. They're intrigued by the silence, thinking you have something interesting goin on, but once you speak your mind, they may think ah, he's not my cuppa tea. But they may repeat the same behaviour with the same person again cos they're curious. Better to not have expectations of them or see them as potential interest. They may or may not be looking for that. They'll engage but keep a distance.

    Maybe she's searching for 'the one'. Or maybe she has some experience she can't get over. Until you emotionally don't connect with her, you may never know. But that also depends.. do you want to emotionally connect with someone like her? She could be totally amazing, but as hard to deal with.

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    • Oh, could be another thing - she might have been the type who had a lot of girlfriends but kept away from guys. Could be various reasons - cultural limitations / girls-only environment / emotional distrust / she was the shy and conscious type but came out and is now more confident / even the ugly-duckling-turned-swan - something that made her approach guys or guys approach her only recently. If it's such a case, then she'll be intrigued by them and curious to know more. And the more guys flock to her, the more it's like a self-esteem boost. That then makes her behaviour seem manipulative, because even if she doesn't intend any harm, she still does it. She may even be conscious about it but can't help it until she's already sort of messed it up a little.

      Or maybe she's too nice to say no until she totally freaks out?
      If she's an airhead and just genuinely caring, then she won't realise she's being manipulative and guys are expecting too much out of it.

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    • I've been avoiding all physical contact with her and flirting for the past few months but its doing any good , she seems too complicated , thats a good quality for a girl but enough is enough she's too complicated and it doesn't interest me anymore.

    • hahaha, your call. :)
      yeah, with her, there will always be some drama. :P

What Girls Said 1

  • dont get to attached but keep going in the relationship because if she likes you enough she might change. just dont be too commited

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What Guys Said 1

  • Leave her ass alone! Stop thinking about her! Period!

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