Why does my friend get all the guys?

Me and my friend are best friends. I love her, but I always feel insecure. I am very nice, and she's really nice too. However, she always gets the guys. The guys that I want, never want me. She can get guys to buy her drinks, but I can hardly ever get guys to buy me drinks, or it's through her that we get drinks for free etc.

Guys never really talk to me, I go up and talk to them, but nothing ever progresses, like no number exchanging, or meeting up somewhere etc. With her though, guys seem to progress with her. I was told many times that I am a very sweet girl with a bubbly personality. This isn't based off of my personal opinion. People have told me how nice I am, attractive, and what not, but yet my friend seems to have all the guys, and the guys seem to like her. It really puts me in a bad situation with myself because I don't know what I do wrong? I talk to guys normally, and I am very friendly. Maybe it is because she's prettier than me, but why is that?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Can i share something similar (it's not related to dating though). I have a good sense of humor and a friend of mine does too. Usually when both of us didn't hang out together, i was easily the funniest guy of the group, pulling awesome jokes , making everybody laugh etc. But, i noticed whenever i tagged along with that friend of mine, it was only him; other people laughing at his humor & how witty he is. Not that i was jealous or anything, but lol most of the times his humor overshadows mine, whereas, i honestly don't like feeling bad about my humor or how dull it is as compared to his, so it kinda irked me.
    So one day i decided perhaps, spending more time without being in his company can help me feel good about myself again and you know what, it worked. People seem to enjoy my presence too even when we both are together and we both are still good friends.

    I think you need to be all by yourself on this front for some time so the guys can see you not in the light of your friend but for what you yourself are. This will give you some confidence boost. But be sure to not damage your friendship in the process. Good luck ))

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What Guys Said 11

  • There's something 'available' about your friend. Something subtle that guys pick up on, even though most guys also couldn't really give you an answer to this question, even the ones who know both of you.

    Your friends put out the vibe that she's available.. maybe it's the way she looks at guys, maybe the way she smiles at them

    .. While you are being friendly, something about her is MORE than friendly. Maybe it's the way she meets their eyes, it could be as simple as that.

    Watch the way she LOOKS at guys, watch how she reacts to what they say.. closely, and I think you'll catch on.

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  • I've seen this a lot with girls - they go out in a pair, one gets all the attention and the other tags along home to bask in some reflected glory. Quite often the popular one gets a guy and refuses to do anything with him 'unless you have someone for my friend, too'.

    You should consider going out without her if you don't already, without her there attracting all the attention you stand a better chance getting some focused on you instead.

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    • Yeah I see what you mean. I love her though, she's my best friend, but it does dampen my mood when I go out with her because I know she's going to get the hot guys wanting her number and what not. It's not her fault, and I don't blame her for any of this, it's my own self. I should just be like "fuck it", and not even concentrate on the fact that she gets all of these guys, but I am so insecure, and it just makes me feel even worse about myself, and I start to think "Am I that unattractivE?" "Am I that unapproachable?" "What do I do wrong?" etc. Thank you so much for commenting! :)

    • You're welcome! I know it's frustrating (it happens with guys too, and I was always the guy in your position watching my friends land all the cute girls) so try not to let it get you down too much - and don't let it show. When you're out, enjoy yourself as much as possible and let that happiness show. A girl having a good time is very attractive.

  • I don't see a problem with attraction. You appear to be a good looking young women. It may be the social dynamics of where, when and who you're interacting with when you and your friend are together in public. It could also be some issues with social skills and body language. Sometimes men aren't sure if a women would be receptive to their advances so they opt to play it safe and pass. I would try to get out there more and maybe look for young men who share common interests.

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  • How does your friend usually act?

    Does she use a lot of makeup?

    Do you mind if I "get to the point"?

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  • You must be hanging out with all gay guys or your friend must be super hot beyond belief cause your hotness level is off the charts. Are you shy around them or anything?

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    • Awe, haha. Thank you! :) I am a bit shy, but I don't mind approaching guys and talking to them, I do that a lot actually. She does too, but it always seems to progress with her, where as with me it doesn't. I have no idea what I do wrong, but it must be something. Thank you for commenting! :)

  • You're very attractive so I don't get that either, try going by yourself

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  • Ask your friend to give you some advice? There no shame in that :)

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    • Yeah, me and her are alike, so I am not sure. Thank you so much though! :)

    • You might think that you are, but the result say differently :) Just ask her, maybe she got some hidden trick up her sleeve haha

  • I dont know I dont get it either I would def buy you a drink if I walked in somewhere and u were there.

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  • ask your friend or go with someone else sometimes and get their opinion. sometimes what you think of yourself others don't. you say you are friendly, but maybe to others you don't seem that way.

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  • u look attractive i think

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  • C'est la vie.

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What Girls Said 6

  • she's probably more approachable.

    Maybe she looks more friendly and easy to talk to.
    Maybe you look shy and stand- offish

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    • She is more approachable, but I am also pretty confident. I am shy, but not overly shy, if that makes any sense? lol. I go up and talk to guys all the time, however with her it always progresses. Thank you for comemnting! :)

    • Does she dress differently from you?

  • Maybe she is just more of a natural flirt than you? I had a similar situation with my ex roommate... Honestly, most people would say we were pretty much on par in terms of looks, but she was super flirty and more of a girly girl than me, whereas for most of my life most of my friends have been guys so I only really know how to talk to guys as if I'm one of them... and I totally clam up when I talk to a guy I like or find attractive.. so yeah, she always got a lot more attention from guys when we went out and it was suuuuper frustrating.

    She also was kind a a giant coont and used to intentionally steal guys' attention from me as well... like, if I was talking to a guy she would come over and just like sit on his lap and start flirting. Needless to say we eventually had a huge falling out over her throwing herself at (and then subsequently dating) a guy that I was absolutely in LOVE with and working up the nads to admit it to...

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  • I also had this friend haha. My best friend could get all the guys she wanted and guys were always more interested in her. One time I asked my dad why and he said it was because she had more of a sex appeal than that I do.
    She looked totally different than me. She had beautiful long straight dark brown hair with a tanned skin and a skinny figure, but with not a lot of curves. (I was more curvy than her).
    I asked some guy friends about it later and the opinions were actually mixed. Some said she looked better and some said I looked better.
    I guess it's all about taste...
    Sometimes I was a little jealous at her, but she was a great person so I was always happy for her.

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  • She's probably really confident, guys like that.

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    • Yeah, she can talk to guys confidently. I can too though, I create conversation, and go up to guys, but it seems that with her it always progresses. We are basically alike. It's uncanny, so I don't know why I am always the loser lol, that gets no numbers or hot guys wanting me, but she does. It just makes me feel worse about myself. Thank you for commenting! :)

    • Any time!

  • ur dating so whys this an issue? u shouldn't be bothered now ur dating!

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  • You're not hot
    Not that you're not cute or pretty
    But she's probably hot and men normally go hot

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