What are we doing?

I have no idea what we're doing or if it's a good idea. We met about a month ago on tinder. We went on a couple of dates and really hit it off. But mutually decided to get be friends with benefits. We both had really bad relationships that ended last year and neither of us is ready for another one. The thing is that I have no idea what we're actually doing now. When we're together it's always pretty intense. We hookup and chat for hours. I'll rub his back and play with his hair while we just chat. I mean we've even chatted about whether we want kids or not. When I'm with him it's like everything is perfect. When we're apart, though, it's completely different. He completely calls the shots and expects me to rearrange my plans around him. He also takes quite a long time to rely to texts and is always checking up to see if I'm with other guys. We also only ever hookup at my place. He says it's because he has roommates - but so do I. I think it's because he's embarrassed by me.

I'm not really sure what we're doing. Like I said, when we're together it's perfect. I don't know what happened with him and his ex, but I do know he moved state to get away after the break up. With me, my ex was just very controlling. I don't know if I should just ask this guy what we're doing? I don't want to seem needy.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Clearly you both need to sit down and talk things out... Seems to me that he really likes you and maybe wants to be in a relationship... However i don't think he's ashamed of you, he just wants to believe that he doesn't want a relationship and i guess when he's with his guy/girl friends he tries to live up with it... For instance my boyfriend and i haven't even discuss about having a family or kids and we're together for 2 months...
    Just talk to the guy in a calm tone... If he's really into you, he will understand :)

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What Guys Said 2

  • If you are content to just have sex at your place, this is the perfect guy for you. If you want more, you need to stop seeing him so you have time to meet someone else.

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  • Sounds like maybe he isn't aure either is probably waiting for a sign that you want to take things to the next level. if thats what you want. he is being very cautious because of the past so you will have to let him know what is ok.

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What Girls Said 1

  • I think you guys really need to have a serious conversation, because it doesn't seem like you two are on the same page.

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